


Harlequin Dolls and Broken Girls

by MagicalStarling



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types, DC Animated Universe, DCU, DCU (Comics), Gotham (TV), Green Arrow - All Media Types, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, F/F, F/M, Sex, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-17 07:48:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 49,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9312206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalStarling/pseuds/MagicalStarling
Summary: Dr. Harleen Quinzel is a young psychologist working at Arkham Asylum when she gets the opportunity to work with Gotham's most notorious villain, the Joker. But the Joker becomes fascinated with his newest doctor and Harleen starts to get to close.And the Joker doesn't plan to leave Arkham without his favorite doctor.





	1. Chapter One

Sighting

Harleen Quinzel was lost. She had been for a long time. She had gotten lost in the Joker’s eyes. 

To her, the Joker had eyes the color of mist; silvery-grey and mysterious. They drew her in and she couldn’t help but want to see what was hidden within their silvery depths.

The Joker’s eyes were like twin silver abysses and without realizing it, Harleen had hurled herself into their depths. She fell and fell, just waiting for the inevitable crash, but enjoying the free fall while it lasted.

She was like Alice, running through the rabbit hole, but unlike Alice, she wasn’t chasing a white rabbit.

Harleen was chasing something else. Something she only occasionally saw when she looked into the Joker’s eyes. Something lurking just below the surface that made her want to give chase. 

It didn’t start as love. No, not at first. In the beginning she chased redemption. Not redemption for herself. No, redemption for the Joker. To show the world the man behind the beast, behind the mask and the clown makeup. 

Then it was love, but not just love. She wanted to redeem the Joker through her love. But soon thoughts of redemption vanished from her head and she was consumed with gaining his love and only his love. To love him the way he was, no redemption required.

Harleen Quinzel was born and raised in Brooklyn. She grew up in a middle class family with loving parents and a younger brother. She did gymnastics and was a model student. She got into Gotham City University on a scholarship. 

When Harleen told people that she wanted to be a doctor they always assumed she meant medical doctor. But that wasn’t what she meant. Harleen wanted to be a psychiatrist. While medical doctors helped heal the body, Harleen wanted to heal the mind.

When she was in her third year of medical school she got an internship at Arkham Asylum, a psychiatric hospital. 

Arkham Asylum may have once been beautiful. A large mansion on an island, designed to help Gotham’s least fortunate. But over the years the building began to crumble and the city’s budget did as well. Nothing could be done to help Arkham.

Bars were placed on the windows as the city got rougher and so did Arkham’s patients. Arkham Asylum became a psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane. 

The day Harleen Quinzel first laid eyes on the Joker, she wasn’t supposed to be there. She had been making her rounds of Arkhams’ fourth floor, checking on the inmates, when an alarm went off. 

The building was going into temporary lockdown as a dangerous patient arrived, and all staff were to lock themselves in their offices.

Harleen was making her way towards the stairs to make her way to the area the interns shared, when she saw the elevator open.

The first thing she saw was black. Batman’s cape as he stood in the elevator, his back to her, facing whoever else was in the elevator. She saw Arkham’s administrator, Dr. Jeremiah Arkham, standing next to the Batman. Two armed guards flanked whoever Batman and the doctor were looking at.

Then she spotted a flash of green, just over the Batman’s shoulder. Then Batman stepped out of the elevator and she saw him.

He was wearing a white straight jacket over his rumpled purple suit. The straightjacket and his legs were chained to a cart that looked like something out of the Silence of the Lambs. 

His green hair was a mess, the gel that once held it neatly in place, now caused it to stick up in multiple directions. A bruise was forming on his jaw and he had a split lip, blood trickling down his chin. 

His tongue darted out to lick the blood from his lips, the movement appearing animal like. His eyes roved wildly around, focusing on nothing, but taking in everything. 

A burly attendant began pushing the cart out of the elevator. Batman stepped aside and began walking next to the cart.

Harleen pressed herself against the wall to give them room to pass. She tried to tell herself to not be afraid, to not show fear, but she couldn’t help but press her clipboard tightly against her chest, her knuckles white against it.

She watched as the cart was wheeled forward, as they grew closer to her, the Joker turned his head. Their eyes met and Harleen felt a shiver run down her spine. The Joker stared her right in the eye, unblinking. 

Time seemed to slow as Harleen looked into the Joker’s eyes, everything falling away except for their silver glow. 

Then the Joker smiled. 

His lips curled upward, revealing a large amount of teeth. His smile was ghastly, stained red with blood, but Harleen still couldn’t look away, and some part of her couldn’t help but want to smile back. She felt the corners of her mouth twitch slightly upwards without her consent. 

Then the moment was over, the Joker was pushed past her. Time resumed its normal pace. Harleen continued to stare after him, watching the spikes of green hair that were sticking up over the back of the cart. She was so preoccupied with staring after the Joker, that she failed to notice the white lenses of the Batman watching her. 


	2. Chapter Two

Contact

Time passed and Harleen graduated from medical school, finishing her internship at Arkham Asylum. She began her residency at Arkham, working with some of the less dangerous inmates.

She hadn’t seen the Joker throughout the rest of her internship, but she had heard the rumors.

The Joker went through multiple doctors, and each one left his cell in defeat, some of them left in tears, others, bleeding.

Most of the doctors were ignored by the Joker. They would ask him questions and he would stare past them as if they weren’t there.

It was when he began answering the questions that trouble started. He seemed to treat the questions like a games, answering the questions differently for each doctor, so that he got multiple and very different diagnostics.

The first doctor the Joker began talking to was a woman, kind, but strict with her patients. They had several sessions together with the Joker politely answering all her questions until he declared that he was tired and wished to go back to his room.

Then one session he asked her to come closer, he wanted to tell her a secret. The doctor leaned forward, and the Joker whispered something in her ear. 

No one new what the Joker said to her, but she ran from the room, crying. The doctor resigned the next day and there were rumors that she had left Gotham. 

The second doctor the Joker talked to was a man, who was rough and insulting. He mocked the Joker, hoping to get a rise out of him. 

The Joker bite his ear off. It was said that evan as orderlies came running in and pulled the Joker off, the Joker remained calm, smiling at the bleeding doctor.

After that the Joker was forced to wear a black mask that covered the bottom half of his face that looked like a cross between a hockey mask and the mask worn by Hannibal Lecter. 

Several doctors later, the Joker managed to smash his face into a doctor’s nose, breaking it. Apparently the two had been in the middle of a cordial conversation when he did it. After that the Joker’s drug dosage was upped for his therapy sessions.

But by the time Harleen finished her internship and started her residency, the Joker was gone.

One weekend, Arkham Asylum had lost power, going into emergency lockdown. All the patients were released from their cells when they were suddenly unlocked. Arkham itself remained locked, trapping the inmates inside. 

The police were called in along with Batman to break up the resulting fights. Several security guards, officers, and inmates were hospitalized. And once the dust settled and everyone was back in their cells, it was discovered that the Joker was gone.

Several months later the Joker appeared on TV threatening to blow up the city. The Batman stopped him, but not before he managed to blow up several buildings, killing several people, and injuring more. 

This time when the Joker was brought in, Harleen was among the doctors waiting for his arrival. 

The police had called them to let them know that Batman was on the way with the Joker. Arkham’s large main doors stood open and several doctors, orderlies, and armed guards awaited the arrival of the Clown Prince.

The Batmobile came to a halt in front of Arkham and they watched as the imposing figure of Batman stepped out. He walked to the passenger side and pulled open the door and a second later he yanked the Joker out of the car. 

The Joker looked small and weak when compared to the intimidating form of Batman. He was more beat up than the last time she had seen him, his face swollen and bruised, as though he had been used as a punching bag. His suit was torn in several places and he had a large pair of some sort of heavy duty looking handcuffs on. 

His head was lolling on his neck as though he couldn’t keep it up, his eyes were wide and unfocused. Harleen guessed that he must have a concussion. 

The Batman dragged the Joker forward, literally. His legs and knees dragged against the rough ground. Harleen wasn’t sure if the Joker was just being difficult, or if he actually couldn’t walk.

Several orderlies ran up to the pair and they quickly gave the Joker tranquilizers, put him in straight jacket and chained him to the waiting handcast. The muzzle like mask was put on him.

To Harleen this all looked unnecessary. Anyone could see that the Joker was in no shape to do anything. He was slumped against the cart, being held up by the restraints.  

The Joker was pushed forward on the cart and Harleen followed the doctors and guards as they brought him to his new cell. The Batman followed the group, his eyes never leaving the Joker. 

Harleen watched through a glass window as the Joker was stripsearched before being redressed in an orange Arkham jumpsuit. His body remained limp the entire time, as though he was a marionette doll with his strings cut.

He was then placed back in the strait jacket and the mask was put back on. He was then thrown into his cell, where he lay on moving on the cot. The orderlies left the room, leaving him alone, and the doctors began to disperse.

“He’s hurt,” said Harleen, “He needs medical attention.”

“No one wants to get any closer than they have to Dr. Quinzel,” replied the head doctor.

Harleen stared into the cell at the unmoving figure in concern.

“He’ll be fine,” said the gruff voice of the Batman, it sounded like he was using some sort of voice modulator, “He always is. He’s resilient.”

Harleen looked at him uncertainly before turning to look back at the Joker. The Joker began shaking and for a moment she thought he was having some sort of fit or seizure, but then she realized he was laughing. 

She could just hear the laughter through the glass; it sounded wet painful and Harleen couldn’t help but imagine blood filling up his black mask. 

Harleen had turned and left the room, unable to look at the Joker or the Batman. 

Harleen went to her office and sat down at her desk, she felt as though her head was spinning. She stared up at the ceiling, willing the world around her to stop moving. 

When she finally looked at her desk, her hands landed on a small vase that hadn’t been there before. 

The vase was made out of thin green glass, simply, but artfully crafted. She couldn’t be sure, but it looked like it may have been made by hand by a glassblower. In the vase was a single red rose. It still had its sharp reddish thorns. 

She carefully plucked the flower from the vase and examined it. She noticed a white paper among the red leaves and it picked it up. It was a playing card, folded and refolded until is was as small as possible. The card was a joker, and appeared to be hand painted. It was rather beautiful, painted in greens and purples. 

Her first gift from the Joker. 


	3. Chapter Three

Dinner

Harleen didn’t see the Joker for the next week. She had approached her boss about becoming the Joker’s therapist, but she was passed by for a doctor with more experience.

When she heard that the doctor was getting nowhere with the Joker, she couldn’t help but grin.

One day she snuck into the area with the Joker’s cell between the guard’s shifts.

The Joker’s cell was entirely white. White stone floors with matching white walls. One of the walls was made entirely of thick, unbreakable glass. This helped make monitoring the Joker easier and allowed his therapy sessions to be held without him leaving his cell. It also gave him no privacy, not that anything he did wasn’t monitored anyway. Arkham had cameras everywhere, but at least with those they gave the semblance of privacy.

The Joker was laying on his cot when she entered the room outside his cell. When the door opened he sat up, his eyes roving over her. 

She walked up to the glass and pulled out the playing card and pressed it against the glass for him to see.

He stood up and walked towards her. A smile spread across his face. The same smile that had been plastered across the newspapers for weeks. It was the smile he wore as he threatened all of Gotham.

“I see you got my little gift,” he said, his voice low, “Already carrying my card around with you?”

“How did you get this to me?” she demanded, “You hadn’t been in Arkham an hour before I got it.”

His eyes looked up, as though he was contemplating the ceiling. He stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth and rolled forward onto the balls of his feet, “I have connections.”

“In Arkham,” she spoke it as a statement, “Who?”

Instead of answering, the Joker stepped closer to the glass. He placed his hand on the glass in front of her, then began walking to his left, trailing his fingers along the glass. When he got to the corner, he turned and leaned against the stone wall. He beckoned with his hand for her to come over.

When she didn’t move he pouted like a child who didn’t get his way, but after a second he walked back over to where she stood. He leaned his forearms against the glass on either side of her, boxing her in. 

“Harleen Quinzel,” he said her name slowly, sounding out all the syllables, “When I heard your name I couldn’t help but smile. Harleen Quinzel.” 

He stood back, swinging his arms, as though he suddenly had more energy than he knew what to do with. 

“Harleen Quinzel,” he repeated, “You know, if you rearrange it a little, you get Harlequin!”

“Yeah,” said Harleen, an edge to her voice, “like I’ve never heard that one before.”

“Oh, but everyone else who said it was being mean,” said the Joker, his voice dripping fake sympathy, “but I like it. It makes me feel like there’s another person out there, like me.”

“I’m nothing like you.”

He stopped moving his arms and he took a step closer, his eyes never leaving her face, his expression unreadable. Then he smiled, “I guess not.”

He turned away from her and laid back down on his cot, ignoring her. She watched him for a few minutes before leaving the room.

She threw the playing card away in the nearest waste basket after crumpling it in her hand.

After that the Joker stopped eating. He wouldn’t eat anything and he refused to give an explanation for his sudden behavior.

After several days of this, they started to use a feeding tube on the Joker. He struggled and fought with the orderlies as they put the tube down his throat, and they were forced to sedate him each time.

After several more days off this, he finally spoke to his current doctor when he asked him why he wouldn’t eat.

The Joker’s response was to say that he wanted Dr. Harleen Quinzel as his therapist. As he said this, he turned and looked straight at the security camera in the corner of the room.

Harleen stared back into his eyes as she watched the security footage. By the end of the day all the doctors knew that Dr. Quinzel would be taking a crack at the Joker.

When the Joker was told this he didn’t react, but that night when the orderlies came in to feed him, he told them that it wasn’t necessary, that he could feed himself. 

Harleen watched the Joker eat through the security camera. He ate each bite slowly, as if savoring a five star meal rather than the tasteless meatloaf and potatoes.

But his eyes never left the camera, as if he new that Harleen was watching on the other side of it. Harleen was eating her own dinner as she watched, and she couldn’t get rid of the feeling that she was on a date. 


	4. Chapter Four

Session

The next day Harleen stood in her bathroom fixing her hair. Clothes were strewn about the room and she couldn’t decide what to wear. 

She had been attempting to curl her hair, but the curls wouldn’t stay so she just threw it up into a bun in frustration. She grabbed the nearest matching outfit and threw it on.

Today was the day of her first therapy session with the Joker and she was going to be late. She had spent the past hour trying to figure out what to wear; she didn’t even spend that long getting ready for dates.

She ran out of her apartment in her bare feet, getting a few looks, and got into her small compact car that was cherry red. She threw her purse and her heels onto the passenger seat and pulled out. She swerved in and out of traffic, one hand pressed to the car horn, Green Day blaring through the stereo.  

She arrived at Arkham Asylum twenty minutes late. She quickly shoved her feet into her black heels and entered the building after passing through security.

She could feel the eyes of her colleagues on her as she went to her office.

Harleen gave a sigh of relief when she closed the door to her office behind her, but she immediately realized that something was wrong.

Sitting on her desk was a box of chocolates. It was a small red, heart shaped box filled with what looked like homemade dark chocolates. Harleen took one look at them and threw them in the trash.   

She had an hour before her session with the Joker and she spent it looking over his file and watching tapes of his past sessions.

She jotted down notes on her clipboard as she went through everything one last time before heading to the Joker’s cell.

The Joker wouldn’t be leaving his cell for the session. Instead Harleen would talk with him through the glass. A table with a chair had been placed in front of the cell for her to sit at.

The Joker stood in the middle of the cell, hands held behind his back, waiting for her.

Harleen blinked in surprise at his appearance. The only time she had seen him since asking him about the playing card was over the security camera.

Now his white skin seemed to have taken on a slight grayish tinge, making him look even more sickly. He had lost weight from his time refusing to eat. She could see the beginning of dark brown roots growing in.

This shocked her the most, since she had thought, like the majority of the people of Gotham, that the Joker’s signature green hair came from the same chemical accident that bleached his skin white, rather than a dye job. 

Harleen felt his eyes on her as she crossed the room to sit at the table, arranging the papers on her clipboard. 

“Hello, Mr. Joker,” she greeted him.

He tilted his head at her, studying her, before he burst out laughing.

“Mr. Joker?” he said mockingly, “Oh, so now you’re suddenly polite? What happened to the woman who came barging in, looking for answers. The other one.”

“Other one? Are you suggesting that I’m two different people? Because I assure you, I’m not. That woman is here.”

He grinned, “Good, otherwise I would have had to cancel my session.”

“What should I call you?”

He didn’t respond, instead he just and watched her unblinking, smiling without showing teeth. 

“How did you send me those chocolates?”

He didn’t respond. 

“Why don’t you sit?” Harleen suggested after a moment of silence. 

The Joker stared at her a moment longer before flopping onto the ground, crossing his legs. Harleen noticed that he was barefoot. 

“You look good,” he told her, his eyes glittering in amusement, “Did you dress up just for me?”

Harleen frowned and glanced down at her outfit and almost swore. Without realizing it she had worn the Joker’s colors; a peacock green skirt and a purple blouse.

She managed to keep her composure and answered him.

“I did try to look my best.”

The Joker made a soft humming noise in response.

“May I ask you a few questions?” she asked.

“Hmm, I guess I can’t stop you. But tell me, what’s Brooklyn like?”

“Brooklyn?” she asked in confusion.

“Yes, that’s where you grew up.”

Harleen stared at him in confusion, “How do you know that I grew up in Brooklyn?”

The Joker looked at her like she was the biggest idiot in the world, “You have a Brooklyn accent dummy!”

“Oh,” said Harleen weakly, blushing. She had worked hard to hide your accent since she moved to Gotham and had thought she was doing a good job. Most people were surprised when she told them where she was from. 

“Brooklyn is okay, you have to grow up tough. Did you grow up in Gotham?” she asked him.

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“Come on,” she said, “You know where I’m from. Fair is fair.”

She immediately regretted her words as the Joker broke into a wicked looking grin.

“So that’s how this is going to work. You ask a question and if I agree to answer it, you have to answer it as well. So think through your questions carefully! And be honest, I’ll know if you’re lying!”  

Harleen sighed and adjusted her glasses, “Alright. So are you from Gotham?”

The Joker grinned and nodded.

“Okay,” she said slowly, looking through her notes, “What do you think about Batman?”

“Batman,” he repeated, leaning back, “Batman, B-man. He takes himself way too serious. He needs to relax, smile more!”

He grinned, but he wasn’t looking at her.

“But I guess I wouldn’t want him to change. He’s my opposite, my other half. I do everything for him. He’s my muse.” 

Harleen frowned at him, “Wait, are you in love with Batman?”

The Joker just stared at her, unblinking, until she became uncomfortable. 

“Are you?”

“No, of course not. I don’t even know him,” said Harleen, “Though I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up with his own cell here one day.” 

The Joker burst out laughing hysterically and Harleen had to wait several minutes for him to calm down, but she found herself smiling slightly.

“And would you be his doctor?” he asked once he had calmed down enough to speak.

“No, I’m already your doctor.”

“Of course,” he said with a smile, “Are you going to ask me something?” 

Harleen looked down at her notes, flipping through them. She glanced back up at the Joker who gave her an encouraging nod.

“Why do you think you’re at Arkham?”

“Hmmm, not bad, not bad,” he said, leaning forward, “It’s just a little break, like a spa. Why are you here Dr. Quinzel?”

“I’m here to help you.”

“Me? You’re here to help  _ me _ ? Just little old me? No one else? I thought you wanted to fix me.”

“Do you think you need to be fixed?”

“Wrong question doc,” he said, his voice rising in volume, “you need to ask the right questions!”

Harleen thought about the Joker’s words.

“You said this is a break, so you wanted to be caught. How long are you planning on staying before you breakout?”  

The Joker frowned, “Not a bad question, but not the right one. Ask me something else. Something exciting.”

“How many people have you personally killed?” 

The Joker groaned.

“What does it matter? Dead is dead, whether by my hand or my order. It doesn’t matter, they don’t matter. If you want a number ask the Bat. I’m sure he keeps a list in whatever cave he lives in. Probably on the same computer where he writes his fanfiction.”

“Do you-”

“No, no, no,” interrupted the Joker, wagging his finger at her, “Remember fair is fair. You have to answer the question.”

“What?”

“How many people have you personally killed Dr. Quinzel?” 

“None, now back to my question-”

“No!” The Joker screamed it and he suddenly leapt to his feet and smashed his hands against the glass separating them, “Lyer! You said you would tell the truth!”

Harleen barely managed to stop herself from jumping back in alarm. But she managed to hold her ground and stared straight back at the Joker, “I’m not lying to you Mr. Joker.” 

He kept his hands on the glass as he breathed hard. He looked like a wild animal.

He then relaxed as suddenly as he had angered. He removed his hands from the glass and turned his back on her in a clear dismissal. Without looking her, he climbed onto his bare cot, with his back to her.

Harleen sat and watched him for a few moments, not sure what she should do. She then collected and organized her notes on her clipboard and stood to leave the room.

Right before she left, she turned back to the Joker.

“One.” 


	5. Chapter Five

Meeting

“Dr. Sinner please-”

“No,” said Dr. Sinner, banging her fist down on her desk, “and that’s final Dr. Quinzel. The Joker is simply too dangerous.”

“But he’ll still be restrained,” argued Harleen, “I know that I’ll be able to interact with him better without him being locked up behind a wall of glass. If we keep treating him like he’s some sort of wild animal, that’s how he’s going to behave.”

Harleen stood in Dr. Sinner’s office, it was a couple days after her first meeting with the Joker and she was scheduled for another session with him later that day.

“He used to be moved for his therapy sessions,” said Harleen.

“And look what happened,” said Sinner, “How many people ended up in the hospital because of him?”

“I’ll be careful,” said Harleen, “The others antagonized him.”

Sinner sighed.

“You’ve only had one session with him,” she said, “if you manage to make an actual breakthrough with him, then perhaps I’ll consider letting you be in the same room as him.”

Harleen stared at the doctor as she turned back to her paperwork in a clear dismissal. She left the office, head down in disappointment. She  _ knew _ that she could connect with the Joker, but treating the Joker like an animal would get her nowhere. She had to treat him like an equal, and sitting at the same table with him would go along way in helping.

She went to her office and grabbed her file on the Joker before heading to his cell for their session. The guard let her in and once again there was a table for her. 

The Joker sat on his bed with his back to her and he didn’t turn to look when the door opened. Harleen sat down at the table and shuffled through her papers.

“Hello,” said Harleen, trying to sound cheery. She must have failed because the Joker turned to look at her with a frown. He turned to face her fully on the cot and examined her face closely.

“Is everything alright Dr. Quinzel?” he asked, his face dripping with concern, his head tilted to the side.

“Everything’s fine,” said Harleen, causing the Joker’s frown to deepen, “I talked to one of the head doctor’s about letting you leave your room for our sessions, but I was told no. That you’re too dangerous.”

The Joker continued to stare at her for a moment before bursting out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” asked Harleen.

This caused the Joker to laugh even harder, and it took him several minutes to gain enough control of himself to respond.

“You want to be with me?”

Harleen frowned at the wording.

“I want to meet with you in the same room, that’s all. I still don’t see how that’s funny.”

“Of course it’s funny!” cried the Joker, “Everything is funny. Everything is a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for...it’s all a monstrous, demented gag! Can’t you see the funny side? Why aren’t you laughing doc? Everything’s a joke.”

The Joker got quiet as he spoke and his eyes seemed to lose their focus.

“I’m sure we’ll be meeting face to face soon,” he said and laid down on his cot, “I’m tired.”

Harleen didn’t even try to get the Joker to talk anymore. She was annoyed by how short the session was, and she blamed Dr. Sinner and the stupid glass wall separating them for it.

The rest of Harleen’s day was unproductive. She was worried that if she couldn’t get the Joker to talk, they would replace her with a different doctor. And Harleen couldn’t let that happen. By the time she left work she was in a horrible mood. When she got home she cracked open a bottle of red wine and sat drinking it as she looked through the Joker’s files from his past doctors. 

She must have fallen asleep at one point because suddenly she was woken up by her cell phone ringing. She scrambled to answer it, her head foggy from sleep.

“Hello?” she answered, her voice thick with sleep.

“Dr. Quinzel? This is Adam Hendricks.”

“Oh, hi Adam,” said Harleen. Adam was one of the guards at Arkham. She glanced at the microwave clock and saw that it was past midnight, “What’s going on?”

“You might want to get over here. The Joker was just admitted into the medical wing, he’s in surgery. He should be coming out soon.”

“Surgery?” asked Harleen, immediately waking up, “What happened?”

“He slit his wrists. Bit them.”

“I’m on my way,” she said already grabbing her keys and heading for her car. Luckily the drive over to Arkham was uneventful and she made good time getting there. She ran into the hospital and hurried through the security check before heading towards Arkham’s medical area at a run.

Arkham had a fully functional medical wing that was fully equipped for most medical emergencies, including performing surgeries right in the building. The wing had been added on just a few years earlier so that the more dangerous patients wouldn’t have to leave to receive treatment and risk putting the public in danger.

“Hendricks,” called Harleen when she caught sight of the guard, “Where is he?”

“They’re just finishing up with him now.”

“Doctor Quinzel!” called Sinner, “What are doing here?”

Sinner was walking down the hallway towards her with Dr. Joan Leland on her heels. 

“I was alerted that my patient had injured himself,” said Harleen, “I would like to talk with him.”

“No,” said Sinner, “he’s heavily sedated. The Joker will be returned to his cell and placed on suicide watch.”

“After I talk with him,” hissed Harleen.

Sinner opened her mouth, her face twisted with rage, when they were interrupted by the opening of the med wing doors. The Joker was wheeled out by an orderly. He was strapped to the wheelchair by a leather belt around his waist, but was otherwise unrestrained, though it was obvious that the Joker wasn’t going anywhere. His head was slumped to the side, his body totally limp. Whatever drugs they had given him were working.

Harleen’s eyes went immediately to the white bandages on his left wrist. Harleen found herself moving towards the Joker without realizing it. 

“Quinzel!” snapped Sinner, but Harleen ignored her.

“Dr. Sinner,” said Leland, she held up her walkie talkie, “there’s a situation that needs your attention on the second floor.”

Dr. Sinner sent one last glare at Harleen before turning on her heel and heading towards the elevator. Before Leland went to follow her, she sent Harleen a smile which Harleen returned.

Harleen turned back to the Joker.

“I can take him back to his cell,” Harleen told the orderly, who reluctantly allowed her to take over pushing the Joker in his wheelchair. 

The Joker’s head flopped back against the back of the wheelchair and he smiled up at her, his eyes glazed.

“Dr. Harleen Quinzel,” his voice was thick and slow, “it’s nice to see you face to face.”

Harleen paused for a second before resuming to push him.

“Is that why you did this?” her voice was quiet, slightly breathy. The Joker was silent as she brought him into his cell and wheeled him in next to his bed.

Harleen was trying to figure out the best way to get him onto the bed in his condition, when the Joker’s hand suddenly shot out and grabbed her arm, yanking her towards him. She stumbled forward in surprise, her heel twisting against the floor and she barely managed to catch herself on the wheelchair arms. She looked up at the Joker and felt fear race through her. The Joker’s eyes were a lot clearer than they were a moment ago.

The Joker’s hand slid down from her forearm to her wrist.

“Are you scared Dr. Quinzel? Your pulse is very fast.”

“What are you doing?” asked Harleen. Her voice came out in a whisper.

The Joker didn’t respond right away, instead he leaned forward so that his mouth was next to her ear. Harleen could feel his breath against her skin. His whole body seemed to radiate heat and he smelled like chemicals. Harleen felt like she was frozen in place. 

“I thought this was what you wanted,” whispered the Joker.

Then Harleen felt the Joker’s teeth on her neck, just below her ear, and her breath quickened as images of the doctor who got his ear bitten off by the Joker flashed through her head. But the Joker just nibbled at her skin and then his tongue licked over the bite mark.

Harleen pulled back in alarm and the Joker let her. He was grinning. Harleen glared at him, speechless for a moment, but she quickly found her voice.

“How dare you? I don’t know what you're thinking, but this ends now.” She turned and stormed out of the cell, leaving the Joker strapped to the wheelchair. She would let one of the orderlies deal with him.     


	6. Chapter Six

Encounter

Harleen stormed out of Arkham and to her car. She fumbled through her purse for a moment searching for her keys, in her anger she struggled to find them.

She suddenly became convinced that she was being watched. The Joker’s silvery eyes flashed across her mind and she quickly pulled out her keys. She unlocked her car and reached inside, her hand closing around the handle of her wooden bat. She pulled it out of the car, feeling the familiar heavy weight, and turned, swinging the bat as hard as she could.

The bat was grabbed in the air by a black gloved hand, halted before it could make contact with its target. The Batman stood before Harleen, and he didn’t look amused.

“Oh, it’s you,” grumbled Harleen, “has anyone ever told you that you shouldn’t lurk in dark parking lots. People might think you're a pervert.”

“Sorry to startle you Dr. Quinzel,” said the Batman, his voice disguised with a modulator, “I wanted to talk to you about the Joker. I know you’re his doctor.”

Harleen yanked her bat out of the Batman’s grip and held it in front of her.

“So you decided to jump me outside my car. Smart.”

“What’s the Joker’s condition?”

“Don’t you already know? You always seem to know what’s going on.”

“I know that the damage he caused to himself is minimal. I was hoping you could tell me how is therapy is going.”

Harleen’s eyes narrowed and she reached up and adjusted her glasses.

“And what, you think I’ll break patient confidentiality and tell you about him? Well, sorry B-Man, not happening. But if you want me to give you a cell of your own I can. Right next to the Joker’s, that way you could keep an eye on him in person.”

“Dr. Quinzel, the Joker is a serious threat,” said Batman, “if he’s told you anything-”

“Yeah, yeah,” interrupted Harleen, “I’ll be sure to shine a light in the sky if he decides to tell me his plans for the domination of Gotham.”

Harleen turned away from the Batman and threw her bat into her car before getting in and locking the doors behind her. She started the car and pulled out, blasting the radio. Batman made no move to stop her, though she could feel his eyes on her, but when she glanced back in her rearview mirror, he was gone.

Hopefully she wouldn’t see the Batman again for a long time.

When Harleen went into Arkham the next day she was ready to take another crack at the Joker. Her encounter with the Batman had refueled her energy enough to push past her last encounter with the clown.

When she unlocked her office she found a bottle of wine sitting on her desk, a red ribbon around the neck. Harleen wasn’t an expert on wine, but she knew that is was an expensive vintage.  

Harleen shoved the bottle into her desk drawer before logging into the security tape from the night before. She watched as the Joker reached forward and grabbed her arm. You couldn’t tell what the Joker was doing or saying to her in the video, which Harleen was grateful for.

Harleen checked her emails and found an email from Sinner to Jeremiah Arkham that she had been included in. Sinner was recommending that the Joker get a new therapist, that Harleen was not being cautious enough and that she didn’t take the Joker as a serious enough threat. She also went on to say that Harleen was clearly upsetting the Joker going by his actions the night before.

At the bottom of the email was a list of recommended doctors to treat the Joker, none of them were current doctors at Arkham.   

Anger made Harleen’s blood boil. How dare she? Harleen had worked hard to prove that she was capable of handling the Joker. Just because she wanted to try and treat him like a person didn’t mean that she didn’t realize how much of a threat he was. She knew that if the Joker and her met outside of Arkham, he could easily kill her, hell, last night proved that he could find a way to kill her right in the hospital.

She had to do something and fast if she wanted to keep the Joker as her patient. What she needed was a breakthrough. Prove that she was the right doctor for the Joker and that she could handle him.

Harleen stood up and left her office, heading towards the Joker’s cell even though she didn’t have a meeting scheduled with him for that day.

On her way one of the patients caught her attention.

Harleen turned to see a red headed woman banging against her cell door. The woman was beautiful and the orange jumpsuit did nothing to conceal her many curves. Her eyes locked with Harleen and she bared her teeth and then screamed, though Harleen couldn’t hear it through the cell door.

Harleen kept walking until she came to the Joker’s cell. Harleen’s eyes landed on a group of people standing outside the room to the Joker’s cell, among them were Dr. Jeremiah Arkham, Dr. Sinner, and Arkham’s warden, Quincy Sharp, along with a man Harleen didn’t know.

“Dr. Quinzel,” said Jeremiah, “I didn’t think you had a session today.”

“She doesn’t,” said Sinner, coldly, “What are you doing here Quinzel?”

“I’m here to check on my patient,” replied Harleen, her voice just as cold.

“Not anymore,” said Sinner, “the Joker’s treatment will be handled by Dr. Gerard Bouchard from now on.” Sinner indicated the man Harleen hadn’t recognized.

“What!?” roared Harleen, “No! I am the Joker’s doctor.”

“Harleen,” said Jeremiah in a placating voice, “you did your best, but you know how the Joker is. Many doctors have tried, but he hardly responds to any of them.”

“He was responding to me!” yelled Harleen, feeling embarrassingly close to tears.

“Yeah, by biting his wrists,” responded Sinner.

“He...he did that…” Harleen trailed off, not knowing what to say. She wasn’t about to tell them that the Joker had only done it to make contact with her outside his cell.

“Dr. Quinzel,” cut in Bouchard, “your work with the Joker was admirable, just as every doctor before you, but like them, your approach has failed. It’s time to step aside and let someone else try.”

It was impossible to not miss the pompous and superior tone to his voice. She already despised the man. With an attitude like that he would get nowhere with the Joker. For a fleeting moment Harleen hoped that the Joker would snap and find a way to kill the man, but she immediately regretted the thought.

“No,” she said, trying to reign in her anger, but failing, “I won’t just step aside, not when I know I can get results!”

By the end she was yelling and the group was staring at her with a mix of reactions. Jeremiah was looking at her with pity, Sinner looked annoyed, and Bouchard still had a superior look on his face, as though Harleen’s outburst amused him.

A hand touched Harleen’s shoulder and she spun around to see Adam Hendricks, who she hadn’t even seen when she first entered the room. He must have been on guard duty for the Joker.

“How about you step out for a moment and get some air doc?” his voice was gentle and Harleen felt another flare of annoyance, before she took a deep breath and allowed Hendricks to lead her away from the group.

Hendricks lead Harleen back to her office where she let the two of them in. She collapsed onto her desk chair with a loud groan. Hendricks sat on the small loveseat and gave her a sympathetic smile.

“How can they do this?” said Harleen, looking up at the ceiling, “I’ve been here for years now doing nothing but shit duty. Then the Joker asked for me, _me_ , to be his doctor. Have they already forgotten that?”

“Sorry doc,” said Hendricks, “but he did slit his wrists, and that’s new for the Joker. He’s never shown any signs of suicide before.”

“Because he wasn’t trying to commit suicide!” cried Harleen, throwing her hands up in frustration. She sat forward and looked at Hendrick’s for a moment, “Adam, can you keep a secret.”

Hendricks nodded.

“You know I can doc.”

“The Joker bit his wrists so that he could see me face to face,” said Harleen, “I told him at our session that I wanted to met with him in the same room.”

“He did that so he could see you?” said Hendricks, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Harleen reached up and touched the bruise covered in makeup by her ear that the Joker had left.

“Harleen,” said Hendricks, cautiously, “then maybe it is for the best that you don’t see the Joker anymore. He’s dangerous, the last thing you want is to become an obsession of his. He might be willing to talk with you now, but eventually he’ll get bored. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Harleen gave Hendricks a small smile. She liked Hendricks, she really did. He was one of the few people that she actually liked at Arkham. He was a good man. Sometimes at night when she worked the late shift he would stop into her office for a chat. He would tell her about his abusive father and how he would imagine that marbles were little worlds and universes that he could escape to. Harleen knew that he had told no one else this and she felt privileged that he felt able to confide in her.

Harleen heaved out a long sigh then reached into her desk and pulled out the bottle of wine, tossing aside the ribbon. She grinned at Hendricks, who raised an eyebrow at her, looking amused.

“Another secret,” she said, placing a finger to her lips before pulling out two plastic cups. Luckily the wine had a screw top rather than a cork, and she poured generous portions into both cups. She handed one of the cups to Hendricks who nodded in thanks before taking it.

Harleen leaned back in her chair sipping the wine.

“Maybe you’re right…” she said reluctantly to Hendricks, “maybe I’ll be safer staying away from the Joker. But I still don’t like Bouchard, if he acts like that around the Joker…”

“That’s his problem, not yours,” said Hendricks, “maybe when he fails you’ll get another chance at him. Until then, you can try focusing on other patients.”

“I guess so,” said Harley, gazing into the distance, “I can move past this.”

But when she closed her eyes, all she could see was the Joker's eyes gazing back at her.


	7. Chapter Seven

Ivy

The next day Harleen was assigned a new patient. She collected the patient’s files and brought them to her office to look them over before her first session. But as she flipped through the files she found that she couldn’t concentrate. Her thoughts kept going back to the Joker.

Today was Bouchard’s first session with the Joker, and Harleen found herself strangely nervous. She didn’t want the session to go well for him. A big part of her hoped that the Joker would just refuse to talk to him. But she also knew that if Bouchard failed with the Joker another doctor would be brought in to work with him.

It was 9:52, the Joker’s session was set to start at ten.

She glanced down at the files that she had been attempting to look over. Then, with only a slight hesitation, she turned on her computer and logged into the security tape in the Joker’s cell.

The Joker was sitting up on his bed, leaning against the wall. His left leg was pulled up against his chest. He was staring at the door intensely. Harleen wondered if anyone had even bothered to tell him that he had been assigned a new doctor.

Harleen just sat and watched him as the minutes ticked by. Soon it was 10:02 and Bouchard had still not shown up. Harleen was getting impatient and she could tell that the Joker was as well. The Joker had no way of keeping track of time in his cell, but he was tapping his fingers against his thigh and scowling at the door as though he knew that his therapy session was supposed to have started two minutes ago and was annoyed at the delay.

The door finally opened into the room outside the Joker’s cell and in walked Bouchard. The Joker’s eyes narrowed when he saw Bouchard enter and he watched him as he crossed the room to sit at the table in front of his cell. 

Bouchard took his time arranging his files and then flipped to a new page in his notebook and took out a pen. The whole time he ignored the Joker, not looking at him once, so he didn’t see the Joker glaring at him.

When he finally looked up, the Joker’s face immediately went from an angry scowl to completely emotionless, watching the doctor with wide eyes. 

“Patient 0801, known only as the Joker,” started Bouchard, “How are you today?”

“You’re not Dr. Quinzel,” stated the Joker, “Where’s Dr. Quinzel?”

“Reassigned,” replied Bouchard, “I’m your new doctor. How’s your wrist?”

The Joker didn’t answer Bouchard, instead he looked up at the security camera and pouted.

“Dr. Quinzel,” he said in a whine, looking at the camera.

Harleen felt anger course through her, she wanted to run down there and tell the Joker that she hadn’t gone willingly. That she still wanted to be his doctor. Or better yet, just kick Bouchard out of the room and finish the session herself.

“Why did you injure yourself?” asked Bouchard, but the Joker didn’t look away from the camera.

“Harleen Quinzel,” he spoke her name slowly, sounding out all the syllables, “Harleen Quinzel.”

Harleen found herself relaxing listening to the Joker say her name.

“Are you saying Dr. Quinzel had you hurt yourself?”

This got the Joker’s attention, his head snapping around to look at Bouchard. Harleen felt her anger resurface, how dare he?

“No,” spat out the Joker, “That’s not what I’m saying at all.”

“Then what are saying?”

The Joker stared at Bouchard like he was an idiot.

“I said, Harleen Quinzel,” he spoke as though speaking to a child, a very stupid child.

“I know,” said Bouchard, a hint of annoyance in his voice, “but why were you saying her name?”

The Joker looked back at the camera when he spoke.

“Can you believe this guy?” He had such a look of exasperation on his face that Harleen couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Who are you talking to?” asked Bouchard, jotting down notes.

The Joker turned to look at Bouchard as though just remembering that he was there.

The Joker’s reply was interrupted by the alarm on Harleen’s phone going off.

“Shit,” she hissed grabbing it and turning it off. It was time for her session. She reluctantly clicked out of the security feed from the Joker and gathered up her files before leaving her office.

Harleen walked to the cell, double checking the cell number before typing in the pin on the electric lock to let her in. The cell was stone with stone floors and walls. There was a small bathroom setup in the corner and the only other furniture was the bed. It was a standard cell at Arkham, the biggest difference being the large frosted window letting in light.

Kneeling in front of the bed was the redheaded woman that had screamed at Harleen on her way to see the Joker.

Pamela Isley, a promising botanist and environmentalist turned eco-terrorist known as Poison Ivy.

Pamela appeared to be watering a small garden of some sorts that she had growing under her bed with a plastic cup.

She was in no way restrained and Harleen would conduct the session right in the cell with her as she never attacked women.

“Hello Dr. Isley,” said Harleen, “My name is Dr. Harleen Quinzel. I’ve been reassigned as your new doctor.”

The redhead glanced at her from narrowed eyes for a moment before returning her full attention back to her plants, which Harleen knew she wasn’t supposed to have.

“May I call you Dr. Isley, or would you prefer Pamela?” Harleen asked when she got no response.

“Ivy,” she replied, looking up at Harleen, “You said you were reassigned. Who were you with before?”

Harleen could have cursed. She shouldn't told Ivy that, it made her sound like she was being forced to work with her. Which of course she was, but she didn’t need Ivy to know that. 

“I was the Joker’s doctor,” she told her.

This got the redhead’s attention, her eyes sweeping over Harleen’s body.

“Did he hurt you?” There was anger in her voice and her eyes narrowed to slits.

“No,” assured Harley, “he didn’t hurt me. A new doctor was brought in to work with him, that’s all.”

“Hmm,” Ivy went back to watering her plants. 

“Do you need more water?” asked Harleen holding up the water bottle she had brought with her, “this water is probably better than what comes out of the taps here.”

She handed it to Ivy who seemed to analyze her for a moment before taking it.

“What are growing?” asked Harleen, bending over slightly to get a better look.

“Mostly mosses,” answered Ivy, “there’s not enough sunlight in here for much else. The angle that the light comes in is too high for it to reach the floor for long.”

Ivy sounded bitter. Harleen frowned, looking up at the high window.

“Don’t you need sunlight?” Harleen had read that Ivy had been slowly becoming more plant like over time from the chemicals that had been injected into her years earlier. She now needed sunlight and CO2 to survive, just like a plant.

“What do you know about me? What I need?” hissed Ivy, standing up suddenly. Harleen remained calm. She had read about Ivy being manic bipolar. 

“I know that you are like your plants,” said Harleen, “and I have taken biology and I know the basics of gardening. I bet you’re not getting enough sunlight.”

Ivy stood glaring at her, before turning away and kneeling next to her plants again, which seemed to calm her.

“No one understands plants,” she said, “people just destroy them. They don’t care that they’re living beings.”

Harleen knew that most of Ivy’s ideology about the environment and plants wasn’t bad on principal, she just took many of her ideologies too far and over time came to value plant life above the lives of humans.

Harleen chatted calmly with Ivy for the rest of the session. She found that Ivy was willing to talk to her if she stuck to light topics or asked her about her plants. If she asked Ivy a question she didn’t like, she just wouldn’t answer.

After the session, Harleen was returning to her office to go through her notes when she ran into Bouchard.

“Dr. Quinzel,” said Bouchard, with a self-satisfied grin, “I was just looking for you. I wanted to get your notes on the Joker, since I was unable to get them from you yesterday.”

Harleen attempted to give him a toothless grin as she continued towards her office.

“Of course,” she said, “they’re in my office.”

They got to her office and Harleen went in and grabbed her notes. She handed them to Bouchard who was leaning his large bulk against the doorframe.

“How did your session go?” she asked politely. 

“Very well,” said Bouchard, surprising her, “the Joker was willing to tell me about an hallucination he was talking to. He called the hallucination an angel.”

Harleen had to stop herself from laughing, was the Joker talking about her? He certainly seemed to be talking to her through the camera.

“I’m glad it went well,” she told Bouchard. Some of her amusement must have shown on her face though, because Bouchard was giving her an odd look. But after a moment he nodded and left with her notes.

Harleen closed her office door. She couldn’t contain her laughter any longer and leaned against the door laughing to the point of hysterics. 

“The jokes on you this time, Bouchard,” she said to herself before doubling over in laughter.   


	8. Chapter Eight

Pudding

A few days went by with Harleen having two more sessions with Ivy. Harleen was able to convince Jeremiah to add lights to Ivy’s cell that replicated artificial sunlight which pleased Ivy greatly. After that the two women’s relationship grew closer.

Bouchard continued to be thrilled with his supposed progress with the Joker. Though Harleen knew that the Joker was just messing with the doctor and that Bouchard was just too stupid to realize it yet.

Harleen had the late shift on that Thursday. She had just finished making her first round of the building and returned to her office. She was about to enter when she noticed that something was off. Her office door was slightly open.

Without pausing to think too much about it, Harleen reached into her bag where she kept a gun. She had purchased the handgun after her encounter with Batman in the parking lot. 

She pushed open her office door and the first thing she saw was a flash of green. 

Harleen froze in shock staring at the Joker who was perched on top of her desk, grinning at her.

“Surprise,” he said, waving a hand at her.

“What are you doing here?” she said, still in shock.

“I wanted to see my favorite doctor!” he said, jumping off the desk and giving her a roguish grin and a wink.

“But you’re, you’re out of your cell...how are you out of your cell?”

“Details, details!” he cried, waving his arms, “None of that matters, not really.”

He walked over to the loveseat in the corner and flopped onto it, his legs hanging over the side, “Let’s get this started doc!”

Harleen stood in the doorway just staring at the Joker who grinned at her and wiggled his eyebrows, which were now dark brown, the green dye gone.

Harleen cautiously entered her office, shutting the door behind her. She walked to her desk, “Yes, let’s start this.”

She trailed her fingers along the desk as she spoke, her hand moving towards the button that would call security.

Her hand was just over the button when suddenly the Joker grabbed her arm, tight enough to bruise. She hadn’t even seen him move.  

“What’s you doing there doc?” His voice was playful, but with a hard edge. His smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“I...I’m…” Harleen trailed off quietly. She was trembling slightly, her heart racing.

The Joker leaned forward so that there bodies were touching. Harleen once again became aware of how warm his body was, heat seemed to radiate off of him. His skin smelled like chemicals. She hadn’t realized just how tall he was and how he towered over her.

He leaned forward so that his mouth was next to her ear, just like before, and suddenly her heart was racing for an entirely different reason. 

“Do you really want to do that Harleen?” he whispered, his breath tickling her ear. His mouth was so close she could almost feel his lips against her skin. He gently pulled her arm away from the button, his grip loosening on her arm, but he made no move to step away from her.

Harleen turned to face him, his face was inches away from her’s, his eyes gazing back at her. Harleen felt her breathing quicken and she felt weak in the knees and she found herself leaning into the Joker slightly, soaking in his warmth.

Suddenly the Joker was gone, causing Harleen to stumble back in surprise, and she had to grab her desk to regain her balance, still struggling to regain control of her breathing.

The Joker went back to the loveseat, “Aren’t you going to ask me some questions doc? Try and get in my head?”

Harleen gave a small, shaky smile and nodded.

“Alright,” she pulled out her wheeled chair and dragged it in front of the couch as the Joker laid down and made himself comfortable. She grabbed a yellow notepad and a pen and sat down in the chair, crossing her legs as she tried to compose herself.

The Joker watched her expectantly as she struggled to think of a question to ask him. After several moments of silence she finally asked him the first question that came to mind.

“Can you tell me about your childhood?”

The Joker gazed into this distance, a sad look entering his eyes.

“My childhood…” he whispered, “You know, my father used to beat me up pretty badly.”

Harleen sat up straighter at this, she had been prepared to hear most anything, but apparently not that.

“Every time I got out of line, bang!” The Joker punched the air with a fist, “Or sometimes I would just be sitting there, doing nothing and pow! Old pops used to enjoy a good drink, or six.”

“Go on,” said Harleen quietly, as she wrote in her notebook.

“There was only one time I really saw dad happy,” continued the Joker, “he took me to the circus when I was a little boy. I can still remember the clowns, running around, dropping their pants.”

The Joker stood and started pacing, laughing hard at the memory. Harleen watched as he walked. 

“My old man laughed so hard, I thought he’d bust a gut!” He stopped pacing and grinned at Harleen, “So the very next night, I ran out to meet him with his best Sunday pants around my ankles. Hi dad, look at me!” 

The Joker pulled down his pants revealing red boxers with white polka dots. Harleen watched him in amusement, no longer even bothering to take notes. 

“I took a pratfall and took the crouch clean out of his pants!” cried the Joker, laughing and Harleen couldn’t help but join in. The Joker literally doubled over in laughter, and the more he laughed, the more Harleen joined in. Tears were almost streaming down my face.

“And then he broke my nose,” said the Joker and Harleen made a small gasp, her laughter stopping immediately. 

The Joker pulled up his pants and shrugged.

“But hey, that’s the done side of comedy. You’re always taking shots from folks who just don’t get the joke. Like my dad.”  

“Do you feel like Batman doesn’t get the joke?” asked Harleen quietly.

The Joker made a small growl like noise in the back of his throat.

“Batsy? Batman never gets the joke.”

“Why do you think the Batman hasn’t killed you?”

The Joker tilted his head, some of his anger disappearing. 

“He doesn’t have the balls. Never has, never will,” he said with a sort of fond amusement, “I still can’t believe he didn’t die the first time he dressed up as a bat and jumped off a roof. Now that’s my kind of crazy.”

Harleen smiled, trying not to laugh. He turned his head to look at her, a faint frown appearing on his face.

“You asked about Batman before. What’s your interest in him?”

“Well, I, I know that the two of you have some sort of strange relationship where you’re constantly fighting, but you haven’t killed each other,” said Harleen, “and well, the Batman visited me the other night. He wanted to know how you were.”

“Batsy cares about lil ole me?” said the Joker, his voice filled with fake delight, putting a hand to his heart.

“Yeah, I think so,” said Harleen, her grin widening, “I offered him the cell next to yours, but he wouldn’t take it.”

“Ha!” cried the Joker laughing, “You spoke up to the bat? I knew there was a reason I liked you!”

Harleen chuckled, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, slightly embarrassed.

“I actually tried to hit him with a baseball bat.”

The Joker laughed harder and Harleen couldn’t help but give in and join him. The Joker stopped laughing and just watched Harleen for a moment as she laughed. He sat up on the couch and leaned forward.

“Harley,” his voice was quiet and slightly husky, “May I call you Harley? Do your friends call you Harley?”

“I- don’t have many friends,” she said, responding just as quietly.

“Well you have one now Harley,” said the Joker with a grin.

He held out a hand to her which she took after a moment, but rather than shake it, the Joker turned and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. He then yanked her forward, dragging her and the chair forward. The chair hit the loveseat and Harleen was pulled onto it, practically on top of the Joker, until he turned and maneuvered them so that they were facing each other across the loveseat. He leaned back against the armrest and propped his feet up on either side of her. At some point he had taken the notepad and pencil from her.

“Let me ask you a question Harley,” he said holding up the notepad, pen posed. His eyes were narrowed and his lips pursed in an imitation of concentration and seriousness that made Harleen laugh, though the Joker didn’t join in this time.

“Sure,” she answered, shyly pushing up her glasses, “ask away.”

“You’re an ambitious, driven young woman,” he began, “tell me, what drove you to kill?”

Harleen’s smile faded and all she could do was look at the Joker, who stared right back at her, waiting for her to answer.

“What?”

“Uh, uh, uh,” said the Joker, wagging a finger at her, “don’t play dumb with me Harley. Our first session, you said you killed someone. One person.”

“Yeah,” her voice was barely audible, but the Joker seemed to have no trouble hearing her, “There was this guy.”

Harleen let out a humourless chuckle.

“Funnily enough his name was Guy. Guy Kopski, we dated in college. I needed to conduct an experiment to get research experience. I was conducting it on love and crime. I decided to test Guy’s love for me by telling him that my department head, Dr. Markus, was going to fail me, so I attempted to blackmail him by saying I would accuse him of attempting to rape me, but he pulled out a gun and tried to shot me. I told him that in the resulting struggle, I shot Dr. Markus, and that the whole thing was on tape. I said I ran away from the cops in a stolen vehicle

“Guy believed my story without question, which I hadn’t expected. He then went to kill Dr. Markus himself. I didn’t expect him to be able to still love me after hearing what I supposedly did.”

The Joker looked up at her from where he was writing in the notebook and nodded at her to continue, which she did after taking a shaky breath.

“He accidently shot some homeless man thinking it was Marcus. When he realized what he had done, he turned the gun on himself. I fought with him for the gun, but he killed himself.”

“Oh, Harley,” said the Joker, “Poor, silly, stupid doctor.”

Harleen blinked at him in surprise, then glared at him. This was definitely not the reaction she had expected. 

“You didn’t kill this, Guy,” said the Joker, “he pulled the trigger.”

“I might as well have,” argued Harleen.

“No,” replied the Joker, “you didn’t kill him.  _ You _ didn’t pull the trigger. That’s what really matters. Though, I’m glad that you haven’t really killed anyone. I want to be there for your first kill.”

“What makes you think that I’m going to kill someone?” said Harleen, her voice hoarse.

The Joker leaned forward.

“Instinct,” he hissed. He then leaned back on the couch and frowned, looking bored. “Got anything to eat?”

“Oh,” said Harleen, not expecting the sudden change in topic, “let me check.”

She got up with difficulty, maneuvering over the Joker’s leg and went to her desk. She grabbed her bag and searched through it.

“I have chocolate pudding,” she held up the container and the Joker held out his hands for her to throw it, which she did, “Hang on, I should have a spoon in here somewhere.”

She pulled out a plastic spoon and looked up to see that the Joker was already eating the pudding, dipping his fingers in it and licking them clean. He was making noises of pleasure as he ate, practically moaning.

“You certainly like your pudding,” said Harleen, looking away and blushing slightly. The Joker chuckled as he licked it off his hand.

There came a knock at the door and the Joker threw his head back and groaned. He rose from the loveseat, placing the mostly empty pudding container on her desk.

“I’m afraid I have to go doll,” he told her, standing close, “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon though, Harley.”

He moved closer to her and Harleen couldn’t help but lean in. His mouth was so close to her’s that for a moment she was certain that he would kiss her. She could feel his warm breath ghost over her lips and she trembled slightly. But then he moved away and Harleen looked away, blushing, slightly embarrassed and disappointed that he hadn’t kissed her. 

Her turned to leave, but he suddenly turned back and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, his lips almost feverishly hot against her skin. 

He then left the office, closing the door behind him. Harleen stared after him for a moment, unable to move, speechless. Her mind was reeling, what exactly had just happened?

She ran her finger along the pudding container, collecting the little that was left on her finger before sticking it in her mouth and sucking on it. Her eyes landed on the notepad on the loveseat and she went to pick it up.

The notebook was covered in doodles by the Joker. There was a stick figure holding a gun with what she supposed to be blood spraying from his head, it was labeled Guy. There was a bat with xs for eyes. Smiley faces, and in the corner, a heart with Harley + Joker written inside it. 


	9. Chapter Nine

Riot

Almost a week went by where Harleen didn’t see the Joker at all, but she did hear about the Joker’s latest therapy session with Bouchard.

Apparently the Joker refused to talk to him and completely ignored him for most of the session until Bouchard tapped on the glass in frustration, trying to get his attention. This caused the Joker to leap up and smash his fists against the glass like a wild animal and he yelled, “What do you want fatso!”

After that he went back to ignoring Bouchard, though he did flip him the bird as he left.

Harleen found the whole thing more amusing than she probably should've.

After working late one night, Harleen was driving home when her phone went off. She pulled over to answer it. It was a guard from Arkham that she didn’t recognize calling her back to the asylum, saying that there was an emergency.

With a groan Harleen turned around and headed back to Arkham. When she arrived the security area was empty, with no guards in sight. What was going on? Had security gone to deal with one of the patients?

Suddenly the alarm blared, a patient was lose, that must be where security was. Harleen ran towards the cells, not knowing where the escaped patient had come from. She heard clanging metal and it took her a second to realize that she was hearing the sound of unlocking cells. It was coming from all the cells on the entire floor.

Harleen went into a dead sprint, racing past the doors as the inmates began pushing them open. She ran into the elevator, closing it behind her and pressed the button for the Joker’s floor. She needed to make sure that his cell wasn’t unlocked. She sprinted to his room as she heard the doors being unlocked on that floor as well. She could hear the security guards yelling in the background and heard shots being fired, followed by a scream. She knew that the police would be called in at any moment to help deal with the riot that would no doubt result from the inmates’ release.

She ran into the room with the Joker’s cell and found him sitting calmly on his bed, seeming unaware of what was going on.

Harleen slammed the door behind her and locked it, though she could still hear the sound of fighting, muffled through the door.

“Sounds like a party,” commented the Joker innocently, “Is everything alright doctor?”

There came a knock on the door and Harleen backed up, reaching into her purse for her gun, her fingers wrapped around the handle, when she bumped into something, or rather, someone.

She whirled around to face the Joker, who stood behind her, grinning down at her, out of his cell.

“Aren’t you going to get the door?” He asked her still acting all innocent.

Harleen’s grip tightened on her gun, but before she could pull it out of her purse, the Joker’s arm moved so fast, it was practically a blur. Harleen felt something prick her neck, the Joker had jabbed her with a needle, right in a vein.

She felt her muscles grow weak, her hand loosening on the gun and her knees began to buckle. The Joker caught her as she began to fall. He spun her to the side, dipping her and for a moment Harleen thought he was about to kiss her, when he let go. She dropped from his arms and landed on a chair, her body going limp, her vision slightly blurry around the edges.

She watched as the Joker walked over to the door and unlocked it, letting a man in police riot gear into the room.

“Jonny!” greeted the Joker with a large grin. Jonny handed the Joker something and Harleen watched as the Joker pulled on matching police riot gear over his jumpsuit.

Jonny said something to the Joker that Harleen couldn’t hear, but she was able to recognize his voice as the person who had called her back to Arkham. The Joker then put on a helmet that covered his entire face, making him unidentifiable. 

He walked over to Harleen and picked her up, bridal style, as though she weighed nothing. She was completely limp in his arms, like a ragdoll. Her head rolled back onto his shoulder.

Jonny opened the door and the two walked out into the hall which was in utter chaos. Inmates were fighting brutality and Harleen could see both Arkham guards and police in riot gear that matched Jonny’s and the Joker’s fighting against the inmates as they fought with each other.

Shots were being fired at the inmates, but there were too many of them. Jonny led the Joker and Harleen through the crowd, somehow managing to clear a path and act as a shield for them. 

Harleen watched through blurry eyes as one of the inmates tackled a guard to the ground, pinning his gun arm to his chest, and then ripped out his throat with his teeth, cutting off the guards scream into a wet gurgling noise. 

An inmate ran, screaming toward the Joker, but Jonny quickly put him down with a bullet to the brain. Harleen watched as the man collapsed to the ground, his head more mush than anything, his brains and skull fragments splattered onto the floor.

The floor was becoming slick with blood, but the Joker remained sure footed as he made his way through the crowd, Harleen tucked against his chest. 

Another inmate, his side soaked in blood, his arm barely attached to his body, just hanging on by a sliver of blood covered flesh, the bone exposed, ran by them screaming, just to be shot in the back by a police officer. His blood splattered across Harleen’s cheek, like hot pinpricks across her skin.

Harleen realized then that the police and guards were helping to make a path for her and the Joker, no doubt believing him to be one of them, rescuing her from the riot.

From up ahead Harleen heard a blood chilling roar. She recognized that roar, though she had only seen its owner a couple of times from a distance and on the news.

The Joker rounded the corner and stepped into something from a horror movie. If Harleen thought the other inmates were violent, it was nothing compared to what Killer Croc had done. 

Killer Croc stood in the middle of the hall surrounded by the remains of several officers and inmates, though they were barely recognizable. The only way to tell that they were once human were their bloody clothes. Many of the bodies appeared to have been chewed or partially eaten, limbs missing. There was so much blood it looked like someone had painted that section of the hall red.

Killer Croc roared again, revealing sharp teeth covered in blood, with bits of flesh stuck between them. He was enormous, over seven feet tall and all muscle. His skin was a thick scaly, gray hide. His hands ended in long claws that were also covered in blood. 

A group of security guards and police officers were squaring off against Killer Croc, approaching him in a v formation, guns out and firing. Killer Croc charged at them with a roar, ignoring the bullets. He smashed into them, knocking some of them down. He grabbed one guard who had fallen and hurled him against the wall with a sickening thud.

At the same time he swiped his other hand across an officer’s torso, slicing right through the vest and spilling the man’s guts.

Harleen saw Aaron Cash, one of the more senior security guards among those trying to fight Killer Croc. As Harleen watched, Killer Croc grabbed Cash, lifting him into the air. Cash lashed out at Croc, but his left hand got too close to Killer Croc’s mouth which closed around his hand, biting it off with the sound of tearing flesh and snapping bone.

The Joker walked right past Killer Croc and sent him a small two finger salute as Croc continued to demolish the officers. 

Johnny led the Joker and Harleen to a side exit that led to a small rarely used parking lot. In the parking lot was a police car that Johnny and the Joker headed towards.

“Sorry, Harl,” said the Joker, “it’s not one of my best cars, but it will allow us to go really fast without alerting the Bat yet.”

He opened the back door and laid Harleen across the seats, pausing to wipe the blood from her face. Harleen stared at him through drugged eyes.

“And try not to throw up,” he told her before closing the door. The Joker got in the passenger seat and Jonny got into the driver’s. Jonny had taken his helmet off to drive, but the Joker kept his on.

Harleen could hear them talking, but she couldn’t make her brain understand the words. Jonny started the car and they pulled out of the parking lot. Harleen was vaguely aware of the sirens blaring and the lights flashing. The movement of the car disoriented Harleen more and she felt her stomach heave, her eyes rolling, as her vision went black around the edges. 

“Really?” cried the Joker as Harleen threw up on herself and the seat before blacking out.      


	10. Chapter Ten

Date Night

Harleen came to consciousness slowly, she felt as though she were still sleeping, her brain seemed to refuse to reboot. She could smell the scent of chemicals, makeup, and cologne. With each breath she took, her head pounded. The chemical smell was familiar, but her brain still wasn’t up to processing anything yet. 

She couldn’t move. She tried flexing her fingers and after several tries she was able to move them. 

She slowly opened her eyes, blinking. For a moment she thought her eyes were still closed, but then her brain caught up to her and she realized she was in the dark. She blinked a few more times and the room slowly came into focus as her eyes adjusted to the lack of light. 

Harleen slowly sat up, her head reeling at the movement. She could just make out what looked like the outline of a lamp and reached over and flicked it on. The light burned her eyes and she quickly closed them. After a few moments she blinked her eyes open as they adjusted to the light, the room slowly coming into focus around her.   

She was in a bedroom lying on an enormous bed that was larger than a California King. The comforter was gold with black sheets and pillows. The walls were painted a dark purple burgundy color. The room had a ceiling that was painted dark gold. The floor looked like it was some sort of dark marble with veins of gold spread throughout it. There were black smooth stone columns in the corners. The room had no windows and three doors made of dark wood. 

Besides the bed there were two end tables made out of dark wood on either side of the bed. The only other furniture in the room was a large vanity with lights around a mirror with a chair in front of it.

Harleen noticed a glass of water on the end table closest to her and suddenly thirsty she chugged it down. Next to the water was her glasses which she put on.

After drinking the water she began to slowly feel more like a human being again, the pounding in her head slowly fading to the background. It was then that she noticed that she was wearing a long gray t-shirt with a yellow Batman logo on the chest that served as a nightgown, and nothing else.

She stood up slowly, her legs weak. Her head spun for a moment when she stood and she had to sit down for a moment, waiting for the room to stop spinning. When her head felt somewhat better she stood up again and walked to one of the doors. It was a huge bathroom decorated in black and white tiles.

The next room was a large walk in closet. Hanging on the back of the door were several hangers with women’s clothes. Harleen looked through them and saw that they were all her size. She put on a pair of black skinny jeans and a loose red blouse. She looked around, but there were no shoes.

She went into the bathroom and splashed water on her face and combed her fingers through her hair. She was feeling an eerie sense of calm, as if what had happened hadn’t yet sunk in. The psychologist in her reasoned that she was probably in shock, but she pushed those thoughts aside. Right now she needed to remain calm in order to survive and get out of this. 

She went to the third door which led out of the room into a dimly lit hallway. She was surprised to find the room unlocked. Harleen looked both ways down the hallway trying to decide which way to go when she heard the faint sound of music coming from the left. 

She walked down the hallway, the music growing louder and she realized it was “Explorers” by Muse. She came to a pair of double doors and pushed them open. She entered what looked like a club. The floors were pale wood and the walls were off white and decorated with red and black diamonds. The room was dimly lit with a mixture of red and white lights. 

Around the room were gold upholstered booths with shimmery black tables. The booths were separated from each other by gold beads.

Glass stairs led to a second open floor where she could see more gold beads.

There was a large black bar and several gold poles on stages spread out through the club.

The club was currently closed and in the center of the room in what would have been the dance floor was a long table with a black tablecloth loaded with food. There were candles lit in the center of the table and glasses of wine. The Joker sat at the head of the table, looking bored, but his eyes snapped up to her when she entered the room, looking her over.

“About time,” he said, “I was beginning to think you threw up again and choked to death.”

“Sorry about that,” said Harleen, blushing in embarrassment. The Joker shrugged.

“Apologize to Jonny,” he told her, “he’s the one who had to clean the car.”

There was a moment of silence were Harleen observed the Joker. His hair was freshly dyed electric green, the roots gone, and it was slicked back. His lips were outlined in red and rather than color his eyebrows green, it looked like he had just shaved them off.

He wore a dark purple button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and tight dark gray pants with a black belt with a dark silver bat shaped buckle. 

“Aren’t you going to sit down?” he asked, waving towards the chair across from him and the only other chair at the table. Harleen walked to the table and sat down.

“Well, eat,” said the Joker after another moment of silence.

Harleen examined the food, it looked as though the Joker had picked up a handful of different takeout menus and randomly ordered food. There was a mixture of Italian, sushi, Chinese, Thai, fried chicken, sandwiches, soup, and several pizzas. 

Harleen picked through the food and filled her plate. She was very aware of the Joker’s eyes on her. Once her plate was full, she hesitantly began to eat.

Once she started eating the Joker filled up his own plate, loading it with an impressive amount of food. 

They ate in silence, Harleen starting out slow, not wanting to overdo it and be sick again, but as she ate she realized how hungry she was. She finished her plate and got seconds. Though she avoided the wine and stuck to the water, not wanting her judgment to be affected, but the Joker noticed.

“Do you not like the wine? I can select a different vintage.”

“No,” she replied, “it’s fine.”

Harleen picked up the wine and sipped it. It was very good and she couldn’t help but take a larger sip.

The Joker ate just about everything that she didn’t eat and Harleen thought that he must have an insanely fast metabolism to remain so skinny.

“So do you live behind a club?” she asked him as they ate.

“It’s one of my many hidey holes,” he said taking a gulp of wine, “and I own the club. Welcome to Funland.”

She raised her eyebrows at this, she didn’t know that the Joker was in the club business, but that explained why they had the whole place to themselves.

After they finished eating the Joker stood up and walked up the stairs, indicating for Harleen to follow him.

“Dessert is up stairs,” he told her as they walked up.

The second floor was divided in such a way to give the semblance of privacy to the booths and couches. The Joker led her to a couch and sat down. On the table in front of the couch were two chocolate puddings. Harleen couldn’t help but laugh as she sat down and the Joker handed her a pudding container. 

“I see you forgot the spoons,” she said smiling as she opened her pudding. The Joker grinned at her and licked pudding off his finger. Harleen used the plastic cover to eat the pudding while the Joker just used his fingers, licking them obscenely. 

After he finished eating the Joker pulled out a packet of cigarettes and offered one to Harleen, who took one. The Joker pulled out a lighter that looked like a gun and lit both their cigarettes. 

Harleen breathed in the nicotine slowly, it had been years since she had smoked. It helped give her the courage to ask the Joker what kept running through her mind.

“Arkham,” she started, “What happened?”

The Joker shrugged dismissively.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” said the Joker, but he pulled out a touch phone and tossed it to her after unlocking it and opening the internet, “you can look if you care so much.”

Harleen caught the phone and searched for news on Arkham. She pulled up the first news website and clicked on the video.

_ “Early this night one of Arkham’s largest riots in history broke out leaving close to fifty dead and many more injured,” _ said a female anchor,  _ “Initial reports say that several inmates escaped in the resulting chaos, including the Joker, Waylon Jones, aka Killer Croc, and Pamela Isley, aka Poison Ivy.” _

_ “There’s been no sign of Arkham doctor, Harleen Quinzel,” _ said a male anchor,  _ “The doctor was last seen being assisted out of the building during the riot.” _

_ “One thing for sure is,”  _ said the female anchor,  _ “Batman will have his hands full as he searches for the escaped inmates.” _

Harleen stared at the phone in shock. That was it? No names of the dead or injured, and they didn’t even try to act concerned with her disappearance. She was just a side note in a story that people didn’t truly care about unless it affected them. They were just waiting for her body to surface. 

“Hmmm,” said the Joker from where he had leaned over her shoulder to watch the video, “disappointing isn’t it?”

“Why am I here?” she asked the Joker, putting the phone down.

The Joker shrugged.

“I may need you for emotional support,” he suddenly leaned forward so that his face was inches from hers, “and you need to have some fun, Harley.”

Harleen opened her mouth to argue, but paused. When was the last time she had done anything fun for herself? And she had to admit to herself that the Joker fascinated her. She had gotten further with the Joker than anyone else had before, and maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to escape.

“I want to do something fun,” Harleen told the Joker who clapped his hands together with a grin. He jumped to his feet with a laugh. He looked like an excited little boy. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up so fast that she was pressed against him.

“Come on Harley, let’s have some fun.”  


	11. Chapter Eleven

Escape of Sorts

The Joker wrapped an arm around Harleen’s shoulders, pressing her against his side. He led her out of the club and into a huge underground garage filled with rows of vehicles of all sorts. Harleen could see multiple cop cars, motorcycles, and black SUVs. There were also rows of exotic looking sports cars, all in various colors.

There were a group of men hanging out talking and smoking. Harleen recognized Jonny among them. 

“Jonny,” called the Joker, “I’m going out, watch the place while I’m gone.”

“You sure boss?” said Jonny, “You just got out, the Bat will be out looking for you. At least let me come.”

“And spoil the fun? Asked the Joker with a laugh, he gave Harleen’s arm a squeeze, “You know I don’t share.”

The Joker led Harleen in front of a row of sport cars.

“What do you think Harl? Pick a car, any car.”

Harleen scanned the cars, her eyes landing on a red convertible. 

“I’ve never ridden in a convertible before,” said Harleen.

“Convertible it is!” The Joker brought Harleen to the convertible and opened the passenger door for her with a small bow before just jumping over the door into the driver's seat.

The key was already in the ignition and the Joker started the car, pressing on the gas, revving the engine. He threw the car into reverse and backed out, throwing the car into drive and turning the wheel just in time to prevent smashing into a SUV.

He pressed down the gas and the car leapt forward, quickly gaining speed. The Joker pressed a button and the garage door began opening. Harleen was afraid they would smash into the door before it opened all the way, but they just made it through, though Harleen couldn’t help but duck her head, which made the Joker laugh.

She gave him a hesitant and slightly embarrassed smile as the car continued to speed up.

Harleen looked around and saw that they were on what looked like an abandoned boardwalk near the harbor filled with abandoned rides and carnival games. 

The Joker took a left and drove towards Gotham’s downtown area. He didn’t slow down as he entered the city and seemed to be driving in random directions with no destination in mind, running lights, weaving through traffic, and twice he drove the wrong way on a one way street. 

Harleen’s hair whipped around her face and she struggled to keep it out of her face. She hadn’t anticipated the wind, which she realized was stupid now, it was a car without a roof, what had she expected?

At one point as the Joker took a fast turn he reached into his pocket, taking the turn one handed, and threw his phone at her after unlocking it.

“Put on some music,” he told her.

Harleen looked at the phone and saw it was connected to the car through bluetooth. She opened music and rather than try and select something she just hit shuffle. A rap song started blasting through the speakers at such a high volume that Harleen grabbed for the volume dial, turning it down. The Joker laughed at her again.

Harleen leaned back, holding her hair behind her ears. As she listened to the song’s words she realized that just about every other word were swear words. She raised an eyebrow at the Joker who chuckled.

“Anything to offend the good masses,” he said and Harleen rolled her eyes. The Joker’s phone suddenly started blaring an alarm.

“Check that,” he told Harleen, “it’s the bat alert.”

Harleen clicked on the alert that had appeared and a news website opened. Harleen quickly scanned through the article.

“The Bat’s been spotted in Gainsly in Midtown fighting Killer Croc,” she told the Joker who laughed.

“That should buy us some time,” said the Joker, “and if we’re lucky, Croc will take a few chunks out of the Bat.”       

The Joker sped towards a red light and was forced to slam on the brakes or smash into the other cars.

“Fuck!” cried the Joker as he came to a stop, leaving skid marks in the car’s wake. He slammed his fist on the steering wheel, blaring the horn as if that would make the light change quicker.

He groaned in frustration, moving in the seat as though impatient to get going. He suddenly turned to Harley and reached across her. Harleen flinched back in surprise, expecting the Joker to grab her. He paused and raised a nonexistent eyebrow at her before reaching into the glovebox. He pulled out a container of red face grease.

He unscrewed the lid and dipped his finger in it. He reached over and spread it on her lips, dragging the corners up into a Glasgow smile.

When he was finished adding the makeup the light had already turned green and the car behind them beeped. The Joker flipped them the bird before taking off. 

They drove around for a little longer, the music changing to Green Day's “American Idiot.” 

At another red light the Joker was forced to stop again. Harleen’s eyes landed on a tattoo parlour as she watched a heavily tattooed man walk out.

“Do you have any tattoos Harley?” asked the Joker, following her gaze.

“Wouldn’t you like to now,” said Harleen with a smile.

“I do want to know,” said the Joker, leaning over so that his face was right next to her face. 

Harleen licked her thumb and rubbed it against the inside of her left wrist wiping off the makeup covering a small, slightly lopsided, black, faded heart.

“I have to keep it covered for work,” she told the Joker, “Which is pretty ridiculous in my opinion. It’s just a stupid homemade tattoo I did to myself in high school.”

The Joker took her wrist and held it up close to his face, examining it. He grinned at her and pulled the car in front of the tattoo parlour, going up on the curb.

The Joker jumped out of the car, climbing over the windshield and walking over the hood. He walked into the tattoo parlour, Harleen following.

The woman at the counter glanced up from the computer briefly, then did a doubletake. The Joker grinned and waved at her, wiggling his fingers. The woman screamed, causing the Joker to roll his eyes, but Harleen could see that he was still grinning.  

Three people, two men, and a woman, came running out of the back room to see what was going on and froze at the sight of the Joker.

“Hello!” called the Joker, grinning. Everyone stared at the Joker with wide eyes, jaws dropped. Harleen couldn’t resist making a snort of amusement at their expressions. The Joker looked at her and winked before looking back at the people, “Where’s the bathroom?”

They continued to stare at him for a moment before the woman behind the counter raised a shaking hand and pointed to the bathroom.

“Ah, thank you,” said the Joker, smiling broadly at the woman who made a strange squeaking noise, “Now, everyone go in the bathroom. Leave your phones on the counter.” 

There was a moment of silence as everyone just continued to stare at the Joker. The Joker groaned in exasperation, then pulled out a gun from his back pocket that Harleen hadn’t noticed and fired it twice into the ceiling. This got everyone moving and they ran to the bathroom, closing the door behind them, after tossing their cell phones onto the counter. The Joker grabbed a chair and jammed it under the door handle. He then headed towards the back room, when he saw Harleen wasn’t behind him, he turned and looked back at her.

“You coming?” he called, “We’re on a schedule here.”

She started following the Joker, but paused after a few steps. What was she doing? This was her chance to escape, the Joker had left the car running, she could get in and drive away. 

“Come on Harley!” called the Joker, and after a moment Harleen followed him.

The backroom was filled with several chairs and the tattoo inks and supplies. The Joker had put on a pair of latex gloves and was preparing the machine, loading it with a clean needle and attaching the vial of ink. He indicated for Harleen to sit.

“Have you done this before?” she asked as she sat, but the Joker didn’t answer, instead he opened an alcohol wipe and cleaned the inside of her left wrist.

He then flicked on the machine and began running it over Harleen’s skin, right over the faded heart tattoo. Harleen bit her lip through the pain and watched the Joker work. She couldn’t see what exactly he was doing, and this made her nervous.

Close to an hour later the Joker sat up, finished. He cleaned Harleen’s wrist and wrapped it in cling film. Harleen looked down at her wrist and saw that the Joker had transformed the lopsided heart into a black diamond with a red diamond above it and to the right.

“What do you think Harl?” he asked her as he removed his gloves.

“I love it,” said Harleen, and it was true. She grinned at the Joker who grinned back, “Now what?”

The Joker’s grin widened and he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the shop and back to the car. They took off again, music blaring, weaving through traffic. Cars honked at the Joker as he cut them off and the Joker honked right back. 

There were times when they just narrowly avoided getting into an accident, but for some reason Harleen found herself trusting the Joker not to get her killed with his driving. 

They had been driving several minutes when the Joker’s phone rang. He answered it after glancing at the name, keeping just one hand on the wheel. He didn’t bother to say hello when he answered. Harleen watched as he listened to what was being said. He listened in silence for a few moments, his face completely blank.

“What!?” he suddenly roared, jerking the car into the next lane, cutting off another car who honked at him. The Joker listened for a few more moments, then groaned, “No, I’ll handle it.”

He tossed the phone aside and abruptly changed direction, cutting off several cars and causing one car to collide with another when the driver tried to get out of the convertible's way. 

“I’ve got to take care of a little business,” he told Harleen, increasing speed. Harleen saw that they were headed towards the docks in Haysville. 

The Joker pulled up in front of an abandoned warehouse, one of many in a city like Gotham. He threw the car into park and took the keys out of the ignition.

He then vaulted out of the front seat and opened the convertible’s trunk and pulled out a machine gun.

“I’ll be right back.”

He then walked into the warehouse, slamming the door behind him.

Harleen just sat and stared after him in silence, stunned. He was seriously going to kill people with her sitting right there in the car? Of course he is, you idiot, she thought. How could she have allowed herself to forget just who she was with? This was the man who wouldn’t even bother to look at his victims when he pulled the trigger, who would go on TV and laugh as buildings exploded behind him. Just earlier that evening he had told her that the people who had been killed in his escape from Arkham didn’t matter. 

How could she be so stupid?

She grabbed the car handle, but found that it was locked. She scrambled over the car door, landing hard. Gravel dug into her feet and it was then that she realized that she was still barefoot. How had she managed to forget that she wasn’t wearing shoes?

She started running away from the warehouse, the gravel digging into her feet. She really wished that she knew how to hotwire a car.

She kept running towards the main road, from there she could get someone to pick her up.

“Harley!” yelled the Joker and Harleen sped up. Fuck! She had hoped the Joker would be longer. Harleen heard the convertible start and her heart dropped, but she kept running, the gravel tearing up her feet and leaving them bloody.

She could hear the convertible getting close and she glanced back. When she did, she tripped, her ankle catching on something and twisting. She fell hard, gravel digging into her palms and knees.

Harleen looked up to see that the convertible's headlights were incredibly close. For a moment she thought that the Joker would just run her over and keep driving, but at the last possible second he jerked the car to the side and swung it around. Gravel sprayed up from the tires, hitting Harleen where she lay, inches from the driver’s side door. 

The Joker got out of the car, this time using the door, forcing Harleen to scramble backwards or get hit. He slammed the car door and stood over her.

“P-p-please, Mr. Joker,” Harleen stammered out.

“P-p-please,” mocked the Joker, his voice low and dangerous, “What are you doing Harley? Tired of me already?”

Harleen frantically shock her head. She could feel tears prickling in the corners of her eyes and blinked furiously to clear them. The Joker already saw her as weak enough without her bursting into tears. 

“Harley, Harley, Harley,” said the Joker, “What am I going-”

The Joker was interrupted by the roar of an engine. Both Harleen and the Joker turned to see the silhouette of a black vehicle that reminded Harleen of a tank, in the distance, headed in their direction; the Batmobile.

“Well, I’ll be damned, looks like the Bat made a new record,” the Joker watched the Batmobile’s approach for a moment before turning back to Harleen, “Well, what are you going to do Harley?”

Harleen stared at the Joker in shock. He was giving her a choice? Harleen turned to watch the Batmobile. 

“You coming?” asked the Joker, growing impatient. 

Harleen looked back at the Joker and shook her head. The Joker frowned at her. Harleen got to her feet unsteadily.

“You need to go,” she said to the Joker, who continued to just stare at her.

“Go!” she screamed, pushing him towards the car. The Joker reluctantly got into the car after a moment, his eyes never leaving her. He’s disappointed Harleen realized. He really wanted her to go with him, but Harleen just shook her head again, “Drive!”

The Joker stared at Harleen then shook his head in disgust.

The Joker threw the convertible into drive and sped off in the opposite direction of the Batman. Harleen stared after him before turning back to the speeding Batmobile. She then walked into the Batmobile’s path and waited for it to approach. For the second time that night Harleen feared that she would be run over, but the Batmobile came to a screeching halt right in front of her. She was so close to the vehicle that she could feel the heat coming off it. 

Harleen slammed her hands down onto the Batmobile’s hood, as though she could keep it there, and just gulped in air. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Gordon

The Batmobile pulled up in front of the police station which was surrounded by reporters who instantly converged around the Batmobile. Batman got out and walked to the passenger side door and opened it for Harleen. He reached in and helped her out of the vehicle. 

The reporters eagerly moved forward, but Batman easily kept them from getting too close to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and gently leading her towards the station. 

After the Batmobile had stopped for her, the Batman had tried to get her to go to the hospital, but Harleen had refused, saying she was fine. Eventually Batman had agreed to just take her the police station, though he insisted on treating the few injuries she did have. He had removed the gravel from her hands, knees, and feet and put ointment on them and wrapped her sprained ankle. He had also given her a pair of large boots to wear.

They made it to the station doors which were opened by Commissioner James Gordon, who Harleen had seen, but never spoken to before.

“Dr. Quinzel,” he greeted her as she entered the station with the Batman, “sorry about the press. Are you alright?”

He sounded genuinely concerned.

“I’m alright,” said Harleen, “I just want to go home.” 

Gordon nodded and gave her a small smile. He then looked at the Batman.

“Are  _ you _ alright?” he asked, looking at the Batman with concern, “You don’t look to good.”

It was true, the Batman’s cape was shredded and Harleen could see a gash on the back of his shoulder and another one on his left leg which was causing him to limp slightly. All souvenirs from his earlier fight with Killer Croc.

“I’m fine,” he said gruffly.

Gordon led them to his office, on the way they walked past a wall with a long glass window to let officers keep an eye on the people in the room. Harleen caught sight of her reflection and froze. Her hair was a tangled mess from driving around in the convertible and she still wore the red face paint, though now it was smudged.

She reached up and attempted to wipe it off her face, but all she did was smudge it more. Gordon handed her a handkerchief which she then proceeded to wipe her face with. She managed to get most of it off, but her mouth and the area around it were still slightly red. She handed the now stained handkerchief back to Gordon with a thanks. 

Once they got to the commissioner's office Gordon closed the door and offered Harleen a seat which she took. Batman stood in the corner.

Gordon handed her a plastic water bottle.  

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to a hospital?” Gordon asked her as he sat down behind his desk.

“I’m sure,” replied Harleen, sipping the water. 

“Alright,” said Gordon, “then can you tell us everything that happened?”

Harleen took a deep breath and began.

“I was heading back to Arkham to get a file I left in my office, but when I got there all the cell doors started to unlock. I went to the Joker’s cell, but it was too late, he was already out. When he saw me he jabbed with a needle and knocked me out.

“I don’t know why he took me with him, maybe he thought he could use me as a hostage if he ran into trouble. I woke up in a warehouse surrounded by men in clown masks.”

“You didn’t see any faces?” asked Gordon. Harleen shook her head. “Do you think you could identify the warehouse?”

“Maybe?” said Harleen, “I don’t know, there wasn’t really anything special about. It seemed like just any other abandoned warehouse.”

“What happened next?” prompted Gordon.  

“Eventually the Joker showed up. He took me for a drive around the city. He acted as though the entire thing was some kind of game. I did my best to just go along with it. Then he went to a warehouse in Haysville. I managed to get out of the car when the Joker went in the warehouse. The Joker almost caught me, but that’s when Batman showed up. The Joker bolted.”

“Alright,” said Gordon, he seemed slightly disappointed, no doubt he was hoping for information on the Joker’s location, “if you’re sure you’re alright then I’ll have an officier drive you home and stay outside your place for the rest of the night.”

Gordon called in an officier and Harleen went with him to his car. She told him her address and he drove right up to the building. He pulled over and let her out. Harleen thanked the officer who told her that a cop car would be circling her block for the rest of the night.

As Harleen entered her apartment building she thought she caught of something out of the corner of her eye. She squinted into the dark, but she couldn’t see anything.

Was Batman stalking her now or was he keeping an eye on her in case the Joker came back? Did the Batman suspect that she knew more about the Joker?

Harleen reached down and tugged off the too large boots and held them up.

“You can take your boots back if you want,” she called into the night. When nothing happened she dropped them next to the door and went up to her apartment where she collapsed into bed. The boots were gone in the morning.   


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Jonny Frost

Harleen laid on her couch in sweatpants and a hoodie. She was drinking red wine and eating rocky road ice cream while watching Moulin Rouge.

She had been given time off to recover from the ordeal. Arkham was also still on high alert after the riot since no one had yet to figure out how the cells had been unlocked. All therapy sessions had been temporarily suspended.

Harleen didn’t even know for sure what she would be doing once she went back to Arkham since Ivy had been among the inmates that escaped. She figured she would be put on paperwork duty until she was assigned a new patient.

She really didn’t want to go back to work, but she knew that she needed to. She had been slumping around her apartment, hardly leaving at all. She was acting just like some heartbroken teenager, watching sappy movies and listening to even sappier love songs. 

And she missed the Joker. Which made no sense. She had barely spent anytime with the man and she knew almost nothing about him, let alone understand him. 

She would lay awake at night and wish that she had done things differently. She would imagine herself taking the Joker’s hand and getting in the car with him. She could imagine the two of them driving off together, the Bat on their tail. It would have been frightening, but exhilarating. Harleen hadn’t done many exhilarating things in her life, but with the Joker she felt that she could do anything.

And she had blown it, thrown away her chance to be with him in anyway. But at least he was safe. Harleen had allowed the Joker to escape, so that had to count for something. Hopefully he would be smart enough to stay away from Batman and out of Arkham. But knowing the Joker, he wouldn’t be able to help himself for long.

Until then, Harleen would just have to try and forget about the Joker. She had taken to covering her new tattoo even at home and wouldn’t watch the news in case he was brought up.

But it was hard to forget the Joker, and it didn’t help that Harleen realized after two days that she was being watched. The Joker’s associate? Henchman? She wasn’t really sure what to call him, Jonny, would stand outside her apartment building at random hours of the day.

Twice she tried to confront him, but each time he would disappear before she could talk to him. And it scared her, she wasn’t sure why he was watching her.  

When Harleen finally went back to Arkham, sure enough she was doing nothing but paperwork. All the other doctors and the security guards would stare at her, so she found herself locking herself away in her office all day. 

A couple months went by slowly with nothing eventful happening. Then Harleen’s fear came true. The Joker was recaptured by the Batman and dragged back to Arkham. Apparently the Bat had broken up a drug exchange down at the docks and the Joker was caught because he had stuck around too long and was sampling the merchandise.

Harleen stayed in her office when the Joker was brought in, but twenty minutes later she couldn’t resist opening up the security footage for the Joker’s cell. 

The Joker didn’t look up at the camera once.     

Harleen grabbed her purse and left work early. She sat outside her apartment building waiting, and sure enough, there was Jonny, walking towards her apartment, head down under a hoodie. When he saw Harleen waiting for him he turned and started walking away, but Harleen chased after him and grabbed his arm.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she growled, “You will listen to me, right now. I have a gun in my purse and I’m not afraid of using it.”

Jonny stopped trying to get away from her and looked at her with a sigh. Jonny wasn’t a particularly handsome man, with long bleach blond hair and pale eyes. 

“Your boss is an idiot,” she told Jonny, “just couldn’t help himself, could he?”

Jonny glanced around them at the people walking by.

“Let’s go someplace private,” he told her.

“Oh, no,” said Harleen, “I’m not that stupid. I’m not going to just let you in my apartment so you can kill me when we’re alone.”

Jonny rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Come on,” he said and began walking away from her apartment, forcing Harleen to practically run to catch up with his fast pace. Jonny led her to a small hole in the wall restaurant off the beaten path. He led her right to a table in the back, nodding to the hostess as they walked past.

“What do you want?” he asked when they sat down.

“What do  _ I _ want?” asked Harleen, incredulous, “I want to know what you’re doing. You’re the one hanging outside my apartment all the time.”

Their waiter walked over and took their drink order. When she left Jonny turned back to her.

“I was just following orders,” he said, “The Joker, I don’t know, was worried I guess? I’ve been with the man for years now and I still don’t understand half the things he does.”

“Worried?” asked Harleen, “Why would he be worried, he was the only one putting me in any danger.”

Jonny shrugged.

“Who exactly are you?” she asked, “Are you his henchman, bodyguard, what?”

“I’m kinda both,” said Jonny, “I saved the Joker’s life a few years back and he seems to trust me now. I work as his driver, bodyguard, and occasionally I’m the closest he has to a second in command.”

“What’s your last name?” asked Harleen.

“Frost, Jonny Frost.”

Harleen raised an eyebrow at him, she doubted that was his real name, but they were once again interrupted by the arrival of the waitress when she brought their drinks. 

“I still don’t know why I’m here,” said Jonny, “just tell me what you want.”

“Well, Jonny Frost. I want,” started Harleen, pausing, “to help you break out your boss.”   


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Marbles

It was raining when Harleen pulled into Arkham’s parking lot. It was close to midnight on a Friday night and the parking lot was deserted. The security guards had their own parking lot in the back.

Harleen got out of her car, grabbing her purse and umbrella, though she didn’t open her umbrella. She jogged up to the building, pulling up her hood, and walked through the security center which was deserted. The door to the security office opened and Adam Hendricks stuck his head out.

“Hey, doc,” he greeted her, “what are you doing here?”

“I forgot my phone,” said Harleen, smiling, “but I was hoping that I might run into you.”

She walked over to the office and Hendricks let her in. The office was small with multiple TVs showing the security feeds from across the building. There was a desk with a computer and a lamp.

“I have something for you,” she said, making a show of looking through her purse, “Here they are!”

She pulled out a small velvet bag and handed it to Hendricks. He took it and opened it.

“Marbles!” he exclaimed dumbing them into his palm. Harleen had held many informal therapy sessions with Hendricks and he had told her that when he was a child he would pretend marbles were little worlds and universes that he could escape to.

“Yeah,” said Harleen, “I saw them and I thought that you would appreciate them.”

Hendricks leaned over to view one of them better under the lamp on the desk.

“Thanks Harleen,” he said grinning and Harleen was glad Hendricks wasn’t looking at her because she was no longer able to keep up a smile due to the guilt.

She reached into her closed umbrella and pulled out her bat. She carefully set aside her umbrella and purse and gripped the bat with both hands. Hendricks remained completely transfixed by the marbles in his hands and didn’t notice what she was doing.

Harleen swung the bat hard and it connected to the back of Hendricks skull with a CRACK! 

Hendricks slumped over in the seat and toppled to the floor, the marbles scattering all across the floor. For a brief moment of panic, Harleen thought that she might have killed him, but then she saw the rise and fall of his chest and sighed in relief.

“Sorry Adam,” she muttered as she stepped over him, careful not to slip on any marbles, and went to the computer. Hendricks was already logged in luckily, so Harleen had no problem using his clearance as a security guard to turn off all the cameras in the building and the parking lot, as well as delete the footage of her entering the building.

Before she turned them off she quickly scanned through them in search of the second guard who was making his rounds. He was on the first floor on the other side of the building. Perfect. 

Harleen quickly left the office, slipping her bat back into her umbrella, and locking the door behind her after taking Hendricks’ keys. She made her way to the Joker’s cell using the stairs. When she got there she used Hendricks’ swipe card, which could open any of the cells in case of an emergency, to unlock the door. 

The Joker stood up when she entered the room. He didn’t seem surprised to see her, which Harleen found strangely annoying. 

She walked right up to the glass and the Joker did the same on the other side.

“You’re an idiot,” she told him, “How could you get caught in two months? And over cocaine?” 

The Joker smiled innocently and shrugged. Harleen sighed and unlocked his cell door. 

“Come on,” she said not waiting to see if the Joker followed her. They walked through the asylum in silence. Harleen kept one hand on the handle of her bat. They made it to the entrance before they ran into any trouble. 

Hendricks walked out of the security office, looking dazed. Harleen could’ve sworn; there must have an extra set of keys in the desk.

“Harleen!” yelled Hendricks when he saw her, then his eyes landed on the Joker and widened. The Joker grinned at him and waved.

“Adam,” said Harleen, trying to keep her voice calm, “just step aside. Please.”

Hendricks eyes flicked towards Harleen, then went back to the Joker. He shook his head.

“I can’t,” he said, his voice trembling slightly, “I won’t.”

Harleen saw his hand edging towards his gun and without even thinking about it, she pulled out her gun from her purse and aimed it at Hendricks. Hendricks’ eyes widened at her and she could see the hurt in them.

“Just let us pass,” said Harleen.

“I can’t do that,” said Hendricks, sounding more determined despite the gun on him as he continued to watch the Joker.

“It seems he’s not going to move,” said the Joker, “What is little Harley going to do now?”

Harleen saw Hendricks’ hand edge closer to his gun, then suddenly he made a grab for it, yanking it out of his holster and pointing it at the Joker.

BANG!

Hendricks fell to the ground, a large puddle of blood spreading across the floor. Harleen stared at Hendricks in shock, still holding the gun in front of her. She had killed him, she had killed Adam.

Next to her the Joker was laughing hysterically and clapping.

“Nicely done Harley,” he cheered, “I knew you had it in you, never doubted it.”

The Joker’s words seemed to snap Harleen out of her daze. 

“Come on,” she muttered putting away the gun and heading towards the door, walking as far away from Hendricks’ body as she could.

Her and the Joker walked out into the parking lot where Jonny was waiting for them. He was leaning against a shiny, hot purple sports car. 

“Jonny!” called the Joker, “Love the car choice!”

“The Vaydor,” replied Jonny, “just like you asked for.”

“Asked for?” said Harleen in confusion, “When did you talk to Jonny?”

“We chatted before the Bat grabbed me,” said the Joker walking over to the drivers’ side as Jonny got into the passenger’s side.

“Before!” cried Harleen, “Are you saying you planned this? That you knew I would do this?”

The Joker just shrugged as he opened the car door. Harleen walked towards the door and the Joker put a hand up, stopping her.

“Where do you think you’re going, missy?”

“I’m going with you,” said Harleen, as though it was obvious.

“Really?” said the Joker, “What makes you say that?”

“I-I,” stammered Harleen in confusion, “I thought you wanted me to go with you. I changed my mind. I want to go with you.”

“Do you now?” asked the Joker, sounding amused, “Well, sorry doc, but you made your choice.”

“What!” shrieked Harleen, and she heard Jonny wince from inside the car, he was looking at her with pity, “I just killed a man for you!”

“Yes, and I’m internally grateful,” said the Joker, putting a hand to his heart.

“What am I supposed to do?” she asked close to tears.

“That’s your problem,” said the Joker with a shrug, “but in light of it, I’ll think about it.”

“Think about it? What do you mean think about?” hissed Harleen, trying to keep her voice down.

“I mean, I’ll think about it,” said the Joker, “If I decide to let you join me, I’ll let you know.”

“Let me know?” said Harleen, “ _ You’ll let me know _ ? When?”

The Joker shrugged dismissively. 

“Not sure,” he said, “Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, or in a month, or ten years. But you’ll know when I decide to come get you, but until then you’ll spend everyday wondering, and waiting, if this will be the day when old Joker will come for you.”

Harleen shook with anger and she pulled out her baseball bat, throwing the umbrella aside. She swung the bat at the Joker, but he grabbed it, easily halting it. He ripped it out of her grip and tossed it aside. It hit the pavement and rolled away. 

Harleen was breathing hard, she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want him to leave, not without her anyway.

She lunged at the Joker, not really sure what she was doing. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she was crashing her lips against his. It was messy and sloppy and the Joker barely responded, but Harley kept kissing. Her heart sped up as she leaned in closer to him, her lips not leaving his. She was kissing the Joker, kept running through her mind and then suddenly it was over. The Joker leaned back and looked at her, licking in his lips slightly.

“Not a bad argument,” he said with a small shrug, “but it doesn’t change anything.”   

The Joker got into the car and slammed the door, leaving behind a stunned Harleen.

Harleen watched the Joker begin to pull out of the parking lot and pulled out her gun. She aimed it at the car and pulled the trigger again and again, but the bullets hit the glass harmlessly and the Joker kept driving.

Harleen didn’t stop firing until she was out of bullets. She threw the gun on the ground and screamed in frustration. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Clubbing

Several days had passed since the Joker’s breakout. Adam Hendricks’ death was blamed on either the Joker or one of his men. Harleen’s name wasn’t mentioned once. She forced herself to go his wake, knowing it would look odd if she didn’t go. 

Her colleagues at Arkham would come up to her and apologize for her loss, which confused her at first until she realized that they thought that her and Hendricks had been together. Her and Hendricks had never been more than friends, but she could understand where they got it from. The two of them would spend a lot of time in her office together and Harleen was acting rather heartbroken, though it wasn’t over Hendricks, but it was better that they thought it was rather than find out the truth. 

Harleen had received no sign from the Joker. The news kept replaying the story of his most recent escape, but so far whatever the Joker was planning next for Gotham was a mystery. 

With each day that went by Harleen grew more and more frustrated. Was the Joker seriously going to ignore her? Just let her rot away waiting for him?

It wasn’t until Friday night that it hit her. Maybe the Joker was testing her, wanting to see just how much Harleen really wanted to be with him. Maybe, rather than wait for him to come to her, Harleen should just go to him.

After all, she knew that she could find him. How many piers with abandoned amusement parks could there be? A quick google search and Harleen found the correct pier that used to hold the amusement park Fun Land, which was the name the Joker had given to her for the place. 

Harleen grinned, she would find the Joker, and make him want her again. 

She put on a short black dress that clung to her figure, showing off her boobs and hips. She hesitated on the shoes, but decided to go with a pair of black stilettos with a five inch heel. She had bought the shoes a while back on a whim, but ended up never wearing them. Harleen was already tall for a woman, close to five eleven and found that most men preferred women to be shorter than them. But the Joker was tall and would still have a few inches on Harleen, even in the heels, plus she somehow doubted that he cared about things like height.

She parted her hair and twisted it into two buns on top of her head. She wore bright red lipstick and gave herself dark smokey eyes. She also traded her glasses for contacts. She completed the outfit with large dark silver hoop earrings and a dark red leather handbag with a silver clasp, which she put her gun in. 

She also made no effort to hide her diamond tattoos. 

She called a taxi and was dropped off near the abandoned amusement boardwalk, which she recognized right away as being the right place. But finding the amusement park turned out to be the easy part. She wandered around searching for the club, but she saw nothing that looked even remotely like a club entrance. She knew that the club was underground, but she didn’t know where. She couldn’t even find the entrance to the parking garage where the Joker kept all his cars. 

She wasn’t sure how long she wondered around the boardwalk before a car pulled up next to her. It was a black expensive looking car with a burly man driving it.

The back window opened and a pale man with messy, styled dark hair stuck his head out the window. Harleen approached the car and saw that the man was wearing what looked like a very expensive old fashioned style suit. She thought he had a rather long nose that was slightly crooked as though it had been broken multiple times. Harleen also thought he looked sort of familiar, though she couldn’t place from where.  

“Hello friend,” he said to Harleen in a strange accent she couldn’t quite place, “Are you going to the club?”

Harleen gave him her best smile and nodded. 

“Well come on in,” said the man with a grin. His teeth were crooked and yellowish, not a surprising sight in Gotham, though it did surprise Harleen since it looked like the man had a lot of money. The man opened the door for her and scooted over to make room for her in the backseat. 

“Thank you,” she said getting into the car.

“It’s no problem at all,” said the man, “I’m Oswald Cobblepot.” 

Harleen just barely managed to hide her reaction to the name. That’s why he looked so familiar, Oswald Cobblepot was the former mayor of Gotham before Harleen came to the city. He was also a club owner and was rumored to be involved in illegal activities. Some even believed he was a mob boss.  

Harleen realized that Cobblepot was waiting for her to tell him her name.

“Harley Quinn,” she said without thinking. 

“It’s very nice to meet you Harley,” said Cobblepot, holding his hand out to her which she took, but to her surprise, rather than shake her hand, Cobblepot turned it over and kissed the back of it.

The road suddenly sloped downwards and Harleen realized that they were going underground. The entrance to the club was apparently under the old rollercoaster platform. They drove through a dim tunnel before coming out into a large, dimly lit parking garage. There was a path of red lights for cars to follow to the valet booth. Harleen could make out several valets, all young men in silvery suits, so that they could be easily spotted, even in the dim lighting. 

The driver of the car got out and opened the backdoor, he offered Harleen a hand out which she took. Cobblepot followed her out of the car, using a black walking stick topped with what looked like a silver bird. 

“Talk care of the car Gabe,” he told the driver who nodded.

Cobblepot offered Harleen his arm which Harleen took, though he was rather shorter than her. He led her to the entrance to the club, two black doors outlined in gold, which were quickly opened for them by the valets.

The club was packed, the music blaring so loud that the room seemed to be vibrating. Scantily dressed women in silver and gold were dancing around the raised metal poles. The bar was mobbed as the bartenders worked fast to get everyone's drinks. Most of the people there were dressed odd for most places, but this was Gotham after all, and the Joker’s club. Harleen could see lots of bare skin, colorful hair, tattoos, and piercings among the crowd. 

“I’m afraid that I’m going to have to leave you my dear,” said Cobblepot, practically shouting to be heard above the music, “I have a meeting I must attend.”

Cobblepot kissed her hand again before heading towards the stairs where Harleen saw his driver, Gabe, waiting for him. Harleen watched as the two men made their way up the stairs. Cobblepot must be meeting with the Joker she realized. She thought about following them up, but decided against it when she saw a couple of large burly men, who could only be described as henchmen, standing at the top of the stairs.

Instead Harleen made her way to the bar where a man offered her his seat which she took. She ordered a mojito and sat sipping at it as she watched one of the dancers twirl around the gold pole.

Several men and a few women bought her drinks, but she didn’t touch them, not yet at least. She was waiting for the Joker. She would continuously scan the upstairs area in the hopes of seeing him. And about two hours later she did. 

He was leaning over the balcony, casually looking down at the crowd on the dance floor below. He had a slightly bored expression.

He was wearing black pants with a maroon shirt with the top few buttons undone. Over his shirt he wore a silver jacket with black lapels. Harleen couldn’t help, but smile at the sight of him. 

She watched as his silver eyes roamed over the crowd and she saw the exact moment he spotted her. He didn’t react or do anything beyond staring, and Harleen stared right back. It was just like the first time they locked eyes, everything seemed to fade away and time seem to slow down. Harleen was only vaguely aware of the club around her.

She felt herself smiling larger as she stared at the Joker, but then he turned and walked away. At first Harleen thought he was going to come downstairs and join her, but he didn’t appear.

Harleen felt disappoint and bitterness fill her. She was about to get up and just leave when one of the bartenders set two drinks down in front of her. One was another mojito and the other was a bright purple and green concoction she didn’t recognize, but it was obvious who it was from. 

Harleen looked up and saw the Joker standing on the balcony right above the bar, directly above her. She picked up the colorful cocktail without breaking eye contact with him and dumped it across the bar. She then picked up the mojito and downed it. She turned on the barstool and stood, scanning the crowd for the drink’s sender.

A handsome man with dark brown hair and a dark blue shirt stepped forward with a grin. Harleen didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. The kiss was long and sloppy and the man was breathing hard when she broke away. Harleen winked at him and walked away, leaving him dazed and staring after her.

Harleen glanced back up at the Joker before she left the club and saw him turn away, she couldn’t tell for sure, but she thought he was scowling, and she smirked. 

She walked out of the garage planning on calling a taxi once she got out of Fun Land. She hadn’t gotten very fair when Jonny called to her from an SUV.

“Hey doctor, need a lift home?”

“Depends,” said Harleen, “are you planning on killing me?”

“Nope,” he said with a grin, “not this time anyway.”

“Well I guess you do already know where I live.”

She got into the front seat and Jonny took off. He drove on the fast side, but he was a much more cautious driver than the Joker.

“Have a fun night?” he asked.

Harleen shrugged.

“Did your boss send you?” she asked. 

“No,” said Jonny, “I was just heading into the city to pick up some stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” she asked.

“It’s probably for the best if you didn’t know,” he answered.

“Of course,” said Harleen, “Why would anything you do be legal.”

They drove for a few minutes in silence before Jonny turned to look at Harleen. 

“You need to be careful with the Joker,” he told her, “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but if I were you, I’d be hoping that the Joker forgets all about you and moves on.”

Harleen snorted.

“Says the man who has worked with him for years.”

“Yeah,” said Jonny, “and that’s why I’m warning you. I’m well aware of the fact that the Joker could decide to kill me at any moment, but you on the other hand, don’t seem to realize that.”

“I’m well aware of how dangerous the Joker is,” said Harleen defensively. 

“Then start acting like it,” said Jonny, “he might seem interested in you now, but in a few years things could change.”

Jonny pulled up to the curb in front of Harleen’s apartment building and she got out of the SUV. 

“You’re wrong,” she told him before slamming the door.   


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Break In

The weekend went by with no sign of the Joker and Harleen was very disappointed. She had hoped the Joker would have been jealous enough to come for her by now. He knew where she lived after all.

On Monday she was late to work, not wanting to go in. She had started working with several different inmates, none of whom were well known villains of Gotham.

She waved to Aaron Cash, a security guard who had just come back to work after the riot, on her way in. During the riot Cash had been one of the guards who had tried to fight Killer Croc. Harleen had watched as he had gotten his hand bitten off and it was now replaced with a hook of all things. How original. 

Harleen went to her desk and was typing up her files when the alarm went off. She jumped to her feet and opened her office door. The alarm abruptly stopped and all the lights went out.

Luckily the new locks on the inmates’ doors held up and none of the cells were unlocked.

The sound of gunshots caught Harleen’s attention and she found herself cautiously making her way down the hall towards them, her hand wrapping around her own gun in her purse. 

When she got to Arkham’s front entrance it was in chaos. A large group with military style weapons were forcing their way into the building. But the strangest thing was how they were dresses. They wore military style gear along with what looked pieces from costumes over them. One man was wearing a giant panda head, another an eyeball. Harleen even saw a guy with a Batman mask. 

And in the center of the chaos was the Joker. He was wearing blue sweatpants that said Arkham up the leg and combat boots. He was bare chested and Harleen saw that his chest was covered in tattoos, including a skull with a jester hat and a large grinning mouth. He was wearing some sort of gun holister that went across his shoulders with a gun on both hips. He was wearing a long, heavy looking jacket that looked like scales but bright metallic purple. He wore light purple gloves and was carrying a purple walking stick topped with a large light purple gem.

Two guards charged at the Joker. The man next to him, who could only be Jonny, dressed in black riot gear with ‘HA HA’ spray painted across the chest, took out one guard with his gun. The Joker hit the other guard across the head with his walking stick, sending the man crumbling to the ground. 

The Joker looked up and saw Harleen. He raised an arm and pointed at her, then turned it and crooked two fingers at her, calling her over. Harleen half ran half skipped with joy over to the Joker, grinning madly. 

She wanted to jump into his arms, and she was about to do just then when he whacked her across the face with the walking stick, knocking her to the ground and sending her glasses flying off her face.

Harleen’s head reeled and her face throbbed. She lifted a hand up and touched her face gingerly, looking up at the Joker in confusion. He reached down and grabbed her ponytail and yanked her up by it, making her squeal in pain.

“Hello Harley,” he said with a grin, “You’ve been a naughty girl, haven’t you?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Joker,” Harleen managed to get out when the Joker yanked on her hair again.  

“Oh, it’s alright Harley,” he said stroking her face with a gloved hand, making her swollen cheek throb. He then yanked her up higher and his lips crashed into hers, hot and wet. His tongue forced it’s way into her mouth and she let him. It was violent and messy, teeth clacking together. When he released her from the kiss he bit down on her lower lip hard enough to draw blood before leaning back. He kept his face close to hers as he whispered, “It made me realize something. I don’t want Harleen Quinzel. I want Harley Quinn.”

He leaned back and gave her a grin that could only mean trouble. Harleen felt fear course its way through her body and she pulled out her gun and pointed right at the Joker’s head. The Joker laughed and leaned over so that his forehead rested right against the barrel of the gun.

“Go on Harley,” he said, grinning, “Do it. I dare you to. Pull the trigger, go on, do it.”

Harleen’s hands shook and she fumbled to wrap her finger probably around the trigger, but she couldn’t pull it. Tears pricked at her eyes and she was trembling. She just couldn’t do it she realized. The Joker must have realized at the same time that she wasn’t going to pull the trigger and he rolled his eyes. He grabbed the gun from her and pulled it out of her hand and threw it behind his shoulder without looking.

“And I also realized, what better place than Arkham to help turn you into Harley Quinn,” he continued as though he hadn’t been interrupted, “After all, this is a place where people force people to change.”

He then reached down and swung her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. Harleen didn’t know where he was taking her as he went deeper into Arkham instead of leaving.

Jonny walked beside the Joker, gun up and ready to fire. He opened a door for them and Harleen realized with dread where they were when the Joker threw her down onto a padded table. It was the room in the medical wing setup for electric shock therapy. 

Harleen tried to bolt, but the Joker slammed her torso onto the table, grabbing her shoulders. He grabbed the straps and strapped her arms down. At the same time Jonny strapped her legs down. Together they strapped her to the table with another strap around her head and torso. 

She screamed and begged, tears falling down her cheeks. The Joker forced the mouth guard into her mouth, silencing her. The Joker then removed one glove and applied the gel to her temples with his fingers. Jonny had disappeared and a second later the Joker left her field of vision, though she could hear him moving around the room. 

Then she heard it. The Joker’s laugh. She had never heard him laugh like this before, cold and dark, and sinister. It filled her with even more dread and she felt a shiver go down her spine, her body erupting into goosebumps. 

Then he was leaning over her, grinning, a mad, wild smile. He held a paddle in each hand.

“Don’t worry,” he said in what she assumed was supposed to be a reassuring voice, “I’m not going to kill you. I’m just going to hurt you. Really, really, bad.”

He then placed the paddles to her temples and Harleen’s vision went white, then colors seemed to burst behind her eyelids like a kaleidoscope. There was a roaring noise that seemed to tear through her brain and she swore she could hear a high pitched metallic whine echoing through her head. Strange images that she couldn’t make sense of seemed to flash through her head. She thought she saw her parents, and Hendrick’s dead boy and the blood stained hallway as Killer Croc ripped apart his victims. 

Her eyes rolled up into her skull and her body jerked against the restraints. She bit down hard on the mouthpiece and tasted blood. 

And through it all she could see the Joker standing over her, his silver eyes seeming to glow. And she could hear him laughing, and laughing, and laughing... 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Dazed and Confused

Harleen felt as though she had been sleeping for the past hundred years. She slowly seemed to return to her body, her brain beginning to come back online.

She felt as though she was suddenly submerged in freezing cold water.

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped in air, breathing hard. Everything was unnaturally bright and black dots swam across her vision. She could hear a high pitch ringing in her ears. Her brain felt as though it had been turned to mush and her body ached. Because of the muscle contractions from the seizures her brain supplied, though the thought seemed distant and disconnected.

She struggled to focus her eyes as things slowly came into view. The first thing she saw was the Joker’s eyes. Then the rest of his face slowly came into focus around them. 

“Hello,” she said, her voice sounded thick and slow to her, she grinned up at the Joker who looked amused.

“Hello Harley Quinn,” he said.

“Boss, we gotta go,” called Jonny, “we taking her?”

The Joker turned and said something to Jonny that Harleen missed. Harleen looked around and realized that she must have only been out a few minutes. They were still in Arkham and she was still lying on the table, though she was no longer strapped down. 

The Joker turned back to her with a grin and Harleen grinned back. He lifted her up into his arms and carried her through the asylum. Harleen thought that it felt familiar, but she couldn’t connect anything in her brain. 

She saw the Joker’s men all heading towards the exits. The Joker carried her out into the parking lot and got into the back of an SUV with her. She sat next to him, slumped over into his side.

She was vaguely aware of the Joker talking, then they were driving. The motion disoriented Harleen more and she vaguely hoped that she wouldn’t get sick again. She felt like the car was flying over the streets of Gotham rather driving. 

Her head felt floaty, but extremely heavy at the same time and she leaned into the Joker’s warmth. Had the Joker drugged her after shocking her she wondered vaguely, or was this all just from the electro shock therapy. How long had he shocked her for?

Harleen lost track of time, either that or she blacked out briefly, for suddenly they were in the garage at Fun Land. Harleen’s head was starting to pound and she didn’t even bother trying to move, just let the Joker lift her up and carry her.

She was vaguely aware of him walking through what looked like some sort of living room and recreation room before going down a hallway and bringing her to the bedroom that she had first woken up in her first time in Fun Land. 

The Joker laid her down on the bed and she stared at him with what she was sure was a goofy grin, but she just couldn’t bring herself to stop smiling.

“Nighty night Harley Quinn,” said the Joker with a wave and Harleen closed her eyes.

Harleen woke to the sound of talking. 

“I don’t think that will fit her,” said a woman, “she’s too tall.”

Another woman replied, but Harleen couldn’t make out what she said. 

Harleen slowly opened her eyes and blinked several times. Everything remained slightly fuzzy without her glasses.

At the end of the bed sat two women going through a pile of clothes. The women both had dark skin and thick curly hair. They wore white bathrobes and the skin Harleen could see was covered in gold glitter. One was holding up a black dress. 

Harleen slowly sat up, every muscle protesting and her head throbbing in a strange rhythm.

“That would be like a shirt on me,” she said looking at the short dress.

The two women jumped in surprise at the sound of her voice.

“You’re awake!” exclaimed the woman holding the dress.

“Welcome back sleeping beauty,” said the other woman, “how are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” said Harleen, carefully trying to stretch her sore muscles. 

“Here,” said one of the women, handing her a glass of water and a couple of pills which Harleen took gratefully.

“Are you two twins?” she asked looking between the women. They both laughed.

“No,” said one of the women, “but everyone thinks that. We’re not actually related.”

“I’m Kat,” said the other woman, “and this is Jess. And of course we know who you are Harley.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Joker so preoccupied with a woman before,” said Jess, with a grin, “you must be pretty special to get his attention like you did.”

“I think he just liked my name,” said Harleen combing her fingers through her hair, “do you guys work at the club?”

They both nodded.

“We’re dancers,” said Jess.

“We actually have to go soon,” said Kat standing up and placing a pile of clothes on the vanity chair, “we’ll leave these here. If you find something that fits, go ahead and wear it.”

“It was nice actually meeting you this time Harley,” said Jess.

“What do you mean?” said Harleen frowning.

“I was the one who undressed you after you got sick last time,” she replied, and Harleen blushed, though she was kind of glad to know it hadn’t been the Joker who had undressed her. 

“Where is the Joker?” she asked.

“He’s in the club in a meeting,” said Kat, “if we see him we’ll tell him you’re awake.”

They both waved as they left the room. Harleen stared after them for a moment before slowly forcing herself out of the bed. She went to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She undressed and walked into the showerstall. She turned on the water, hot, and yelped in surprise when water came shooting at her from multiple directions. 

The warm water felt wonderful on her sore muscles and she stayed in there for close to forty minutes before reluctantly getting out. 

She found a towel and dried off. She went back into the bedroom and found a brush on the vanity. She looked in the mirror and almost dropped the brush. The left side of her face was all bruised from where the Joker had hit her. She reached up and touched the tender flesh with a sigh. 

She turned to the pile of clothes left for her and after going through it she threw on a black skirt, that was very short on her, and a purple shirt that was more like a halter top. Luckily there were shoes this time and she put on a pair of black wedge boots. 

She braided her still damp hair and twisted it up into a bun with several bobby pins she found in the pockets of a pair of jeans. 

She didn’t want to wait for the Joker, she would just go and meet him in the club. She looked at her face in the mirror again, then looked down at the containers of makeup on the dresser.

She hesitated for a moment, but something urged her to pick up the makeup and put it on. She covered her face in white clown makeup, drew a small black heart under her left eye, and covered her lips in black paint. 

There, now she was ready to go. 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Harley

Harleen walked out to the room and went down the hall to the club doors, but the doors were locked. Harleen banged on the door with her fists for several minutes before it was finally opened by a burly looking man.

“What do you want?” he grumbled.

Harleen quickly ducked under his arm and into the club.

“Thanks!” she called to him and then made her way into the crowd. She moved with the crowd to the rhythm of the music as she made her way to the stairs. When she got to them she ran up them, taking them two at a time. At the top she was stopped by the same pair of burly looking henchan she had seen at the club the last time. 

“Excuse me,” she said trying to move past them, but one of them grabbed her arm.

“No one’s allowed up here,” he told her.

Harleen gave him her best smile.

“I don’t think you know who I am,” she said, “but I’m Harley Quinn. The Joker will want to see me.”

“Get lost,” said the man holding her arm, giving her a shove. She just managed to keep her balance and stop herself from tumbling down the stairs.

“Fine,” she said, “you asked for it.”

She slammed her knee into the man’s crotch and stomped hard on the other man’s foot.

“You bitch!” snarled the man as the other bent over gasping. He raised his arm as though to hit Harley, but suddenly a hand grabbed his arm around the wrist, halting it in the air.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” said the Joker, then flipped the man over the glass railing and off the balcony. There were screams of alarm from below as the man crashed onto the dance floor, but after a moment everyone went back to what they were doing as though this were a normal occurrence at the club, which it probably was.

The Joker grabbed Harleen and threw his arm around her shoulders and walked her over to an area with gold booths surrounded by gold and black beads.

On one of the booths sat a man with a buzzcut and tattoos covering his arms. Next to him on either side were two men that had to be there as his bodyguards. 

The Joker sat down with Harleen in the booth across from them.

On the table between them were piles of wrapped brick shaped packages of cocaine. One of them was open and there were playing cards in front of the Joker with rows of the drug lining them. 

“Joker,” said the man, “who is this woman? We agreed no one else what be involved in the negotiations.”

“Oh this is just Harley Quinn,” said the Joker dismissively and Harleen saw red.

“Just Harley Quinn?” she screeched, “What the fuck does that mean? Don’t I matter?” 

“Don’t worry babe,” said the man, “I know you matter; a pretty thing like you should come work for me.” 

He gave her a sleazy smirk, his eyes roaming over her body and Harleen felt disgust rise in her.

“What do you say Harley?” asked the Joker, his head cocked to the side, watching her. Looking at the Joker Harleen somehow knew exactly what he wanted her to do. She reached into his jacket and pulled out his gun. She thumbed the safety and aimed it at the man and shot him in the chest. The movement was so fast and sudden that it took the man’s guards by surprise. They recovered fast and pulled out their guns and had them pointed at Harleen within seconds, who aimed the gun at one of them, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to get both of them before they pulled the trigger. 

Suddenly they both collapsed in a spray of blood as the Joker pulled the trigger on a second gun, taking them both down in quick secession.

“You’ve got to be faster than that Harleen,” he told her.

She frowned at the Joker then turned and swung a leg over his lap, straddling him.

“It’s Harley,” she said, “Harley Quinn.”

The Joker threw his head back and roared with laughter and Harley grinned at him.

“Well Harley,” he said once he was done laughing, “I have some more business to attend to, so I need you to get lost.”

He pushed her off his lap and she hit the table before landing on the ground.

She stared at him in shock, mouth open.

“Seriously?” she said, her voice rising in pitch.

The Joker made a shooing motion at her and she gritted her teeth as she got to her feet.

“Fine!” she yelled and turned to leave, but she paused when she caught sight of the drugs on the table. She bent over and snorted a row of cocaine off one of the playing cards and then stomped away.

The one remaining henchman glared at her as she walked past him going down the stairs and she flipped him the bird. 

She went to the bar and let people buy her drinks. She downed drink after drink, not even looking at what she was drinking. She was too busy enjoying the combination of the high and the buzz from the alcohol to care.

She spotted Jess dancing and waved at her and pushed her way through the crowd towards her. Jess smiled when she spotted Harley as she spun around the gold bar. 

Harleen watched and cheered with the crowd until she got bored with just watching and grabbed onto the stage and climbed up. The crowd cheered louder and one man helped give her a boost up. 

“Harley!” cried Jess in surprise, but she giggled at her, grinning widely.

Harley had barely gotten her balance on the stage when she was suddenly yanked off. She was pressed tight against a chest and was dragged out of the club. She fought, but she wasn’t able to break the grip on her.

They left the club through the door that lead to the hallway with the Joker’s bedroom, and Harley was released. She whirled around and faced the man, her face twisted in rage. She was surprised to see the Joker. She had expected him to be too busy to notice her.

“Really?” he asked, “Are you going to do this every time I don’t have time for you?”

“You kicked me out!” she yelled.

“Are you ready for the world to know about you?” challenged the Joker, “To have the police after you, Batman after you? I can’t afford to kill everyone I associate with to protect you until you’re ready to face the big bad world.”

This surprised Harley. She hadn’t thought about the resulting consequences of being with the Joker. She just knew she wanted to be with him, but was she even really with him?

“I can handle it,” she said in a pouty voice.

The Joker rolled his eyes and then suddenly lunged for her and slammed her against the wall, a knife at her throat. She didn’t even see where the knife came from.

“You don’t seem ready to me,” said the Joker, his mouth near hers, “you would be dead in minutes.” 

He let her go and walked down the hall towards his bedroom and Harley followed behind him uncertainly. In the bedroom the Joker was taking off his jacket. Harley walked past him and sat on the edge of the bed, kicking off her shoes.

“Now I need you to stay here,” said the Joker, “I don’t trust you to not get yourself killed.”

“But I’m bored,” whined Harley, bouncing slightly on the bed. The Joker turned and watched her for a moment, his eyes roving over her.

“Are you now?” he said, his voice deep and slightly husky.

He walked over to her and shoved her down onto the bed, one hand around her throat and another on her hip, pressing into her flesh hard. He crawled onto the bed so that he was above her. He leaned down and Harley met him halfway as their lips collided. He straddled her, his pelvis pressed against her and their hips touched.

She breathed in the smell of his cologne and the strange chemical scent she was coming to connect with the Joker. 

Teeth clashed against each other as they fought for dominance. When Harleen was forced to break the kiss to breath the Joker latched onto the corner of her mouth instead. He kissed his way along her jaw then bite down on her ear lobe and licked the shell of her ear, making her shiver, her breathing quickening.  

Harley moaned and the Joker chuckled, his hot breath fanning out across her skin raising goosebumps along her flesh in its wake. 

The Joker moved down to her neck licking and biting his way down. He would bite hard enough to almost draw blood then soothed the bite with his tongue. Harley moaned again and fisted a hand in the Joker’s hair, her other hand running down his back along his spine. 

Harleen arched her back to maximize their body contact. The Joker’s body was so warm and Harley struggled to touch as much of him as possible. 

The Joker’s hands moved to her hips then edged up along her bare stomach. He pinched the edge of her shirt in his hands before moving under it, tracing the edge of her bra and making Harley squirm. 

The Joker moved back, licking his lips hungrily.

“Are you sure you want this Harley?”

Harley thought about the question, a part of her, the logical part, was screaming at her to stop, to get out of there. But another part of her, the louder part, screamed yes.

“Yes,” she whispered with a nod and the Joker gave her a predatory smile, his eyes gleaming.

“That’s my girl,” he whispered, “my Harley Quinn.”   

The Joker moved back to her mouth and they kissed sloppily before he broke it off, a strand of saliva connecting their lips.

He reached down and yanked her shirt and bra off in one motion. His hands wrapped around her breasts, squeezing them, his thumbs circled around her nipples.

Harleen racked her hands down his back as the Joker continued to knead her breasts, at the same time he trailed purple-black bites across every inch of skin on her neck and shoulders, marking her as his. 

The Joker’s mouth moved to her left breast, rolling her nipple between his teeth, making her half groan half moan in pleasure. When he was done with her left nipple he moved onto the right one, giving it the same treatment, leaving them both gleaming with saliva and she shivered at the feel of the cold air against them. 

His mouth trailed along her stomach until he got to her skirt. He grabbed her skirt and pulled it off along with her underwear, Harley lifting her hips to help him.

The Joker leaned back on his legs, breathing hard. His eyes scanned over Harley’s naked body and she felt herself flush in embarrassment and look away.

The Joker grabbed her right arm around the wrist, hard enough to bruise and pinned it down on the bed above her head as he leaned over her again.  

The Joker’s index forefingers circled along her clit then dipped inside her, feeling her wet and textured insides. The Joker’s fingers were replaced by his tongue, licking into her as he circled her wet folds, lapping at her warm, wetness.

Harleen dug her fingers into the Joker’s gelled hair, clutching at it.

The Joker’s tongue pressed against her clitoris making Harley cry out and arch up, but the Joker pressed her hip down as he continued to press against the bundle of nerves, sending waves of pleasure through her body. 

The Joker’s hand moved from her wrist to her breasts, running his fingers over her nipples and pressing against the soft flesh as his tongue continued to pleasure her relentlessly. 

Then she was coming over the Joker’s face, screaming, and he continued to lap up her fluids through the spasms of her orgasm. 

The Joker leaned back just as her flesh was beginning to become too oversensitive and licked his lips. Harley laid on the bed, panting. 

The Joker stood up and stretched his arms for a moment.

“Good enough for you Harley?” he asked, his eyes sparkling and Harley nodded and gave him a dazed smile, causing the Joker to smile and chuckle softly. 

“I have to finish some business, now stay here,” he tossed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter onto the bed next to her and left, smoothing his hair down.

Harley frowned after him, disappointed. She probably shouldn’t expect the Joker to stick around to cuddle, but she would have appreciated it. Typical sociopath. 

She grabbed a cigarette and lit it, inhaling the smoke, leaning back feeling satisfied and happy with the thought that she was definitely involved with the Joker, and she had no plans on leaving anytime soon. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Training

When Harley woke up the next day she was alone. She had been expecting the Joker to join her at some point during the night, since it was his room after all, but if he had, she’d missed him.

Harley's head throbbed; she was so hung over. She glanced at herself in the vanity mirror and grimaced. Her hair was a tangled mess and the clown makeup had turned into a smudged disaster, the purple bruises showing through.

She stumbled into the bathroom and ruffled through the medicine cabinet for advil. She then jumped in the shower to scrub the makeup, sweat, and the smell of sex off her.

She managed to find a dark blue sweatshirt and a pair of black yoga pants that didn’t fit her too bad in the pile of clothes Jess and Kat had left for her. She put her hair in pigtails and left the room, not bothering with shoes.

She decided to head towards the right, not wanting to go to the club. The hallway lead into the recreation style room she vaguely remembered the Joker carrying her through the day before. There was a large flatscreen TV with numerous couches and chairs, a foosball table, and a pool table. There was also a table that looked like it was set up for poker.

In the left corner of the room was a good size kitchen blocked off from the rest of the room by a counter. 

Two men sat on the couch watching the news and another man appeared to be asleep in a recliner. 

“Where’s the Joker?” she asked, startling the men who turned to look at her in surprise. 

“Not here,” the voice that spoke up was Jonny who she hadn’t noticed in the kitchen. Harley walked towards him.

“Where is he?” she asked.

“Business with the Penguin.” 

“Penguin?” she asked in confusion.

“Oswald Cobblepot,” said Jonny, “that’s what they call him.”

“He does kind of look like a penguin,” she commented as she made a beeline for the coffee machine. Jonny handed her a mug and she nodded to him in thanks and poured himself a cup. She added a splash of cream and loaded it with sugar.

“I didn’t see the Joker come in last night,” she commented.

“That’s cause he slept on the couch,” replied Jonny.

“What?” said Harley, “Why would he do that?”

Jonny shrugged.

“He’s the Joker, why does he do anything?” he said, “But if it helps I’ve never known him to actually sleep with a woman, he always kicks them out. I asked him about it once, after I had a little too much to drink, he said something about murdering in his sleep. Whatever that means. Probably exactly as it sounds.” 

“Hmmm,” Harley drained the rest of her coffee and poured herself a second cup.  

“Any food?” she asked him once she had taken a few sips. Jonny pointed to a bakery box on the counter. After examining its contents Harley grabbed a bear claw and took a big bite, “is there anything greasy?”

“There might be some bacon,” said Jonny. Harley gave him her best puppy dog eyes and with a sigh Jonny walked over to the fridge and pulled out a package of bacon and went over to the stove. He grabbed a frying pan and started heating it up.

“This is a one time thing,” he informed her and Harley just smiled and hopped up onto the counter, swinging her legs. 

Jonny frowned at her as he began cooking the bacon.

“Are you alright doctor?” he asked, actually sounding slightly concerned. 

“Yeah,” said Harley, stuffing the rest of the bear claw in her mouth, “why wouldn’t I be? And call me Harley.”

“Oh, I don’t know Harley,” said Jonny, “maybe because yesterday the Joker turned your brain to mush with electricity? I mean, there is something different about you.”

“That’s cause I’m Harley Quinn now, the new and improved me!” she said with a smile, licking her fingers clean. 

“Whatever,” said Jonny putting the bacon on a plate, “if you want to go have some identity crises be my guest. Not my problem.”

He handed Harley the bacon and she squealed in delight.

“When will the Joker be back?” she asked as she ate.

“Not sure,” said Jonny, “probably not for a while. But he asked me to start training you. Practice your shooting and fighting skills.”

Jonny cleaned up as Harley finished eating and then the two headed to an area that looked like a cross between a training room and a gym. There were lots of exercise machines and equipment and weights as well as training mats and a gun range.

Jonny managed to find a pair of shoes that fit her and then led her to a mat.

“Do you have any fighting skills?” he asked her.

“I took a few defense classes in college and I did some martial arts as a kid, but not much. Gymnastics were always more my thing.”

“Alright,” said Jonny, “let’s see what you remember. We’ll work on reinforcing the basics then build from there.”

Jonny ran her through basic drills, how to punch, kick, and get out of various kinds of holds as well as going over the best areas to hit. Most of which Harley already knew, after all basic self defense was pretty much a necessity in a rough city like Gotham.

Jonny then tested her flexibility and worked on helping her find ways to use it in a fight. 

After a few hours of this Jonny led her over to the shooting range. He had her practice hitting the targets with various styles of guns. After hitting the target each time Harley looked over and beamed at Jonny who gave her a small smile.

Harley heard clapping behind her and turned to see the Joker leaning in the doorway watching her.

“Not bad,” he told her.

“Mr. J!” Harley squealed, some of her Brooklyn accent coming out. She ran over to the Joker without even thinking about it and jumped into his arms and planted a wet kiss right on his mouth. 

The Joker grinned at her and then turned to Jonny.

“What do you think Jonny?” he said, “Is she ready to go with us tonight?”

“I don’t know boss,” said Jonny, “it’s going to be dangerous and she still has a lot to learn.”

“What’s tonight?” asked Harley.

“Tonight’s the Wayne Enterprise Foundation, and we’re going to crash the party,” said the Joker with a grin, “It’s funny, whenever Wayne Enterprise is involved, the Bat seems to show up faster…”

“I want to go!” said Harley, “Please Mr. J!”

The Joker seemed to consider it for a moment.

“Well, we could use a getaway driver,” he said eventually, “though we’ll have to find something for you to wear.”

Harley beamed.

“Funny you should mention that. I already have something in mind.” 


	20. Chapter Twenty

Chase

The Joker has Jess drive Harley, to his personal tailor, because apparently he has one of those.

The tailor is a little old Italian woman who doesn’t speak any English, at least Harley doesn’t hear her speak any English, though she does seem to understand her request with the help of her daughter translating for her. Though to Harley’s disappointment she’s told the costume won’t be ready in time for that night.

When Harley tells the Joker this he immediately calls the tailor and after yelling into the phone for several minutes, he assures Harley that the costume will be ready in time.

The parking garage is an organized chaos as they get ready for the night. Men preparing cars, mostly SUVs and police cars, loading them with explosives and guns. 

Harley would be the Joker’s driver, meaning she would pick him up along with Jonny and a couple other men who would be acting as the Joker’s personal bodyguards, before the bombs brought the building down.

When it was getting close to time to go Harley went and changed into her costume, which had been dropped off by the tailor’s very frightened looking daughter.

Harley changed in the Joker’s room, which she was starting to think of as her room as well. She got stabbed by a few pins that had been left in the costume, and Harley had a feeling that it was done purposefully. But Harley decided that she’d let the old woman get away with it this time once she saw herself in the mirror.

She looked fantastic. 

The costume was a skin tight suit in red and black. The left side on the top until just above her ribs was black with three red diamonds on the shoulder, the other side of the top was red with black diamonds on the inside of her arm. Going from the top of her ribs down it was black on the right and red on the left with black diamonds. Her right boot was red and her left boot was black. The right glove was black and the left one was red. There were white ruffles around her wrists and there was a white collar with white pompoms. 

There was also a red and black jester hat with white pompoms that covered her hair. So in the end the only skin showing was her face which she covered in white clown makeup, a domino mask, and red lipstick so dark it almost looked black.

Harley was thrilled with the costume and skipped down to the garage. She scanned the area looking for the Joker and spotted him talking to a group of men including Jonny, and immediately made her way over to him.

The Joker glanced up as he was talking and spotted her. A wide grin spread across his face and his eyes widened. 

“Harley!” he called, “You look marvelous, fantastic, stupendous!” 

“Ahhh,” said Harley with a little wave of her hand, “now you’re just making up words!” 

Harley got into the red convertible that she would be driving. The vehicle would stand out against the other vehicles with the Joker, but it wouldn’t be recognized immediately as one of the Joker’s cars until Harley picked him up.

The Joker walked up to to Harley and leaned against the car door on the driver’s side.

“You ready Harley?” he asked.

“Sure am Mr. J,” she replied with a grin.

“Good,” said the Joker returning the grin, “I have a gift for you that I think you’ll like.”

He held up a heavy looking wooden baseball bat that was painted white with the word bang written across it and it was wrapped in barb wire.

“Ohhh!” squealed Harley, “I love it!”

The Joker put the bat behind her seat where she would be able to reach it if needed. She also had a gun with her. The Joker made sure she knew what to do, then went and hopped into the SUV that he would be dropped off in.

Harley watched as all the vehicles left and after waiting a few minutes she followed them. The Wayne Foundation was holding the fundraiser in a large, fancy hotel for Gotham’s elite in the downtown area. It was one of many events held by the company.  

Harley watched as the Joker got out of the SUV surrounded by his men in riot gear. Harley could see Jonny standing next to the Joker and another man who would be acting as the Joker’s other bodyguard stood on his other side. The Joker had introduced her to the man as Bob, but Harley had a feeling that that wasn’t his actual name, but he was just too afraid to correct the Joker. After calling the man Bob for the third Harley had caught Jonny rolling his eyes making her think that the Joker was already aware that the man’s name wasn’t actually Bob. 

The Joker looked handsome, dressed just like the rich party guests in an expensive looking black suit with a white bowtie and carnation.

Harley circled the block in the convertible as they entered the building. The top was down on the convertible so as to not draw attention to herself in her costume, but the Joker had instructed her to put the top down when she came to get him, probably so he could vault over the door rather than open it like a normal person.

Harley kept her eyes on the car clock as she circled the hotel again. The bomb was scheduled to go off in ten minutes and Harley had to be ready to get the Joker as soon as it did. 

She could hear sirens in the distance as cop cars pulled up to the hotel. Shit, she thought, they were going to make grabbing the Joker harder. 

Suddenly there was a huge boom and the windows burst out in the hotel, glass falling onto the streets and Harley could see flames.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! The bomb wasn’t supposed to be detonated for another five minutes! The Joker must have decided for some reason to press the automatic detonation button he had rather than wait for the timer. 

Harley pressed on the gas and pressed the button to open the roof as she headed to the hotel’s side door. Above her the hotel was crumbling, the flames spreading. Harley caught sight of green hair as the Joker ran out of the side door. She had barely come to a stop when the Joker leaped into the backseat, holding a machine gun in one hand.

“Drive!” he yelled.

“What about Jonny and Bob?” yelled Harley.

“Bob’s dead and Jonny’s getting another ride,” he said, “Now Drive!”

Harley pulled out and pressed on the gas, in the backseat the Joker was shooting at the cops as they came running out of the building, causing them to duck behind their cars. The Joker’s other men were engaged in a firefight with the police. 

Harley didn’t get far before she heard the roar of an engine and the dark shape of the batmobile came speeding onto the street. 

“Shit!” yelled Harley, “It’s Batman!”

The Joker on the other hand seemed thrilled at the sight of the Batmobile. He was laughing and waving his machine gun around as though he were waving at the Bat. 

“Batsy!” he yelled with a loud cackle. 

He pulled out a handful of what looked like colorful marbles and threw them on the road behind the car. They exploded as they rolled towards the Batmobile, but the tank like vehicle was barely slowed down and it kept coming.

Harley caught sight of flashing lights ahead of her and her heart seemed to stop for a moment. She realized that there was a police barricade set up across the road. Police cars were stretched across the road, completely blocking their escape route.

“J!” she yelled and the Joker turned to look. He pulled out his cellphone and tapped it a few times. “What do I do?!”

“Kept driving!” he yelled, “Press on it!”

Harley pressed on the gas, despite every instinct she had screaming for her to slam on the brakes. Then suddenly two of the police cars pulled away leaving a gap in the road and Harley raced through it as fast as she could. As soon as the car passed the cop cars pulled back into the gap, blocking the Batman. Harley realized that they must not be real cops, but the Joker’s men. She had forgotten that some of them had left in cop cars. 

As she drove an SUV with flashing lights turned off a side road in front of them. Harley knew that it was one of the Joker’s vehicles.

As they sped through the streets Harley caught sight of a dark shape in the rearview mirror.

“The Bat’s back!” she yelled to the Joker who pulled out his phone again and barked a few orders into it.

The SUV’s trunk opened and Harley saw Jonny and another man kneeling in the back. Jonny’s shoulder was covered in blood. The Joker stepped into the front seat and Jonny and the other man threw what looked like a bazooka out of the back of the SUV. The Joker leaned forward and caught it before it smashed their windshield.

He turned around in the front seat, still standing and hooked one leg under the seat’s headrest. He balanced the bazooka against his shoulder as he aimed it at the Batmobile. The rocket was launched at the Batmobile and smashed into it head on, causing the vehicle to stop and go up on its front wheels before flipping over and landing on its roof. 

The recoil knocked the Joker off his feet and he was lying half on the dash, half on the floor, but he was laughing hysterically and after a moment Harley joined it. 

Harley drove back to Fun Land with no interference. Every once in awhile she caught sight of some of the other vehicles keeping the cops away from her and the Joker. She caught sight of Fun Land and knew that they had made and she couldn’t help but throw her head back and roar with laughter along with the Joker.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

Gasping

Harley pulled the convertible into the garage, still laughing, she didn’t even have a chance to take the keys out of the ignition before the Joker scooped her up in his arms and jumped over the car door with her.

Harley squealed in delight and wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her out of the garage. 

“Not a bad night,” commented the Joker with a grin, “explosions, the Bat went splat.”

“And I got my costume!” said Harley, kicking her legs.

“Yes,” said the Joker, baring his teeth, “and you look ravishing.”

He carried her into their bedroom and dumped her onto the bed, he tore at the jester costume impatiently and Harley heard it tear in several places.

“Hey!” she whined, “I just got this!”

“I’ll have enough made for the rest of your life,” said the Joker with an eyeroll, then he bent over and kissed her, efficiently cutting off any of Harley’s protests as he removed the rest of the costume. 

Harley breathed in the Joker’s familiar scent which was tinged with the scent of smoke. Without breaking the kiss he yanked off his jacket and tossed it aside as Harley started unbuttoning his shirt. She managed to get the first couple buttons undone then the third one went flying off so she just started ripping at his shirt to get it open, not caring as the buttons went flying. Payback for destroying her new costume.

The Joker leaned back and removed the now ruined shirt and tossed it aside with his jacket. While Harley had been struggling with his shirt he had managed to remove her bra and underwear leaving her only wearing the Jester cap.

She ran her hands along his chest which was surprisingly sculpted despite how skinny he was. She could feel heat radiating off of him and wondered if he had a high metabolism from the chemicals that had changed his skin, raising his temperature.    

Harley was panting and she licked her kiss swollen lips before the Joker recaptured them in another kiss, deepening it. She opened her mouth to allow him to slip his tongue in, giving him full access to roam and explore the soft pallet of her mouth.

She started feeling lightheaded and tried to break off the kiss, but the Joker followed her down. She shoved at his chest, but he didn’t move. She pushed harder and he finally released her lips and she gasped for air. 

The Joker on the other hand was barely out of breath as he got up and stripped his pants off and then his boxers, which Harley noted were black with yellow bats. 

Then he was back on her, leaning over her so their hips were touching. Harley reached up and pulled the jester cap off and the Joker buried his hand in her hair, pulling at it. He ground down with his hips against her’s, hard. It was almost painful, but Harley didn’t even think about resisting, and even found herself enjoying it. 

He put a hand on her ribs, pressing hard enough to bruise, then rubbed his thumb over her breast and around her nipple. Harley arched up into his touch. His hand creeped down her body until it was between her legs and she gasped when his fingers brushed her wetness.

The Joker’s other hand ran down her face and Harley leaned into it. He rubbed his thumb along her bottom lip and Harley opened her mouth and sucked on the digit, swirling her tongue around it. The Joker pulled his thumb out of her mouth with a small pop and gave her another rough kiss before pulling her legs around him and Harley wrapped them around him as he entered her. 

They both groaned as he pushed into her as far as he could until their skin was pressed together. He began to thrust into her, fast and hard, increasing the pace. His hands circled her breasts, squeezing them and his thumbs rubbed over her nipples. 

Harley arched her back, pressing her body into the Joker’s, maximizing the amount of contact between their bodies. She buried her head into the Joker’s neck and bite down at the junction between his shoulder and neck, causing the Joker to groan.

The Joker’s hands moved to her hips, pressing into her skin hard and suddenly he flipped them over so that Harley was on top. His hands remained on her hips, encouraging her to move, to ride him. Harley pressed her hands flat against the Joker’s chest and moved her hips up and down, the only sounds in the room their breathing and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh.

Once Harley found a rhythm, the Joker moved his hands back to her breasts, giving them attention and causing Harley to throw back her head and moan as she struggled to maintain her speed and rhythm.     

Harley could tell that the Joker was nearing his orgasm and he was thrusting up into her faster and harder, trying to make her orgasm before him. His hands moved from her breasts to trail down her body to grab her ass and knead it hard before making their way back up to her breasts.

Harley moved faster as the Joker did the same, digging her nails into his shoulders. She was so close, she was chasing her orgasm. But what finally tipped her over the edge was the Joker’s eyes. She looked into them and felt her body shudder as waves of pleasure racked through her. She threw her head back in a scream, seeing white. 

Below her the Joker continued to thrust into her through her orgasm until with a groan he reached his own climax, spilling into her. 

Harley slowly came down from her high and moved off the Joker to lay down next to him, her breathing slowly returning to normal, her body covered in sweat. After a few minutes the Joker moved as though to get up, but Harley wrapped her arms and legs around him, clinging to him like a koala. 

The Joker tensed for a moment before relaxing and wrapping an arm around her. Harley smiled as she snuggled into him, tucking her head into his shoulder, she closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep. 

Harley woke up a few hours later, for a moment she didn’t know what woke her, but then suddenly it hit her and she was wide awake, her eyes flying open in a panic. She couldn’t breath.

It took her brain another moment to realize why she couldn’t breath. The Joker was leaning over her, his hands wrapped around her throat, choking her. Harley slammed her fists against his chest, but he didn’t budge or even react. Her vision was starting to go black around the edges and her blows were growing weaker. She gave up on hitting him and started to try and pry his fingers off her throat.

Suddenly the Joker let go and turned away from her, settling onto the bed. Harley sat up, her head reeling from the lack of oxygen as she gasped, air entering her lungs in painful gasps. Her hands went up to her throat, which she could tell was inflamed and she knew that there would be bruises.

She looked over at the Joker who was sleeping as peacefully as ever, as though he hadn’t just tried to strangle her in his sleep. So that was why he didn’t sleep with the women he had sex with. He really did murder in his sleep.

Harley stumbled into the bathroom and put a cool cloth on her throat before heading back to bed, though she stayed as far from the Joker as she could, thankful for the bed’s large size. 

The next time Harley woke up it was to the sound of someone knocking timidly on the door. Without windows she wasn’t sure what time it was. The Joker groaned at being woken up. Of course he wouldn’t wake up when he was strangling her, but someone knocking lightly on the door would wake him up instantly. 

“What’s the fucking problem!” he yelled.

“Uh, sir,” said a frightened sounding man, “there’s ah, a bit of a situation, there’s a woman-” 

“Poison Ivy is here,” yelled Jonny, interrupting, “she’s demanding to see Harleen Quinzel.”

Ivy? Ivy was in Fun Land? What was she doing here?

“Demanding?” The Joker said, amused, “What’s she going to do? Grow a garden and make us eat are vegetables? Just go shoot the bitch.”

“No!” screamed Harley, her voice hoarse. She bolted up in bed, “Don’t hurt her! I’ll go talk to her.”

She jumped out of the bed, the blankets tangling around her legs. She managed to find the sweatshirt and yoga pants she had worn the day before and threw them on. The Joker watched her get dressed, but didn’t say anything. She ran out of the bedroom and Jonny led her to a door that would bring her outside. 

She emerged onto the pier near the ferris wheel, the bright light blinding her momentarily. It looked like it was close to noon. 

Standing in the middle of the pier was Ivy, her red hair glinting in the sunlight. The area around her had grass poking up through the pavement. Harley blinked in surprise at Ivy’s outfit. She appeared to be wearing a green leotard made out of leaves with light green leggings. Her shoes appeared to be made of grass woven together and she had leaves in her hair. 

“Harleen!” she called when she spotted her.

Harley burst into a run and hurled herself at Ivy, wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug, nearly knocking her over. Harley’s enthusiasm surprised both of them, she hadn’t realized just how much she had come to care for the other woman or how much she missed her.

“Ivy! What are you doing here?”

“I came for you,” she said, leaning back and examining Harley, “What happened to you?!” 

She placed a hand on Harley’s face examining it, and tilted her head back to see her neck. Of course, Harley realized, her face was still slightly bruised and by now her neck would be covered in bruises.

“Oh,” she said, “it’s nothing. And it’s Harley now.”

“This is not nothing Harleen,” said Ivy, “Did he do this to you? I will kill him, I’d let my plants eat him, but I don’t let my plants eat garbage.” 

“Ivy!” cried Harley, “Don’t talk about the Joker that way! No one is killing anyone. I’m fine.”

“When I heard you were missing after the riot I wanted to come looking for you,” said Ivy, “but I was being chased myself and the next day the news was saying that you escaped from the Joker.”

Harley rolled her eyes. Escaped? The Joker let her go. 

“And then he came back and took you,” continued Ivy, “Whatever he wants with you, it can’t be good. That’s why I’m here to rescue you.”

“Rescue me?” said Harley with a chuckle, “You’ve got it all wrong Red, I’m right where I want to be. I’m Harley Quinn now.”

Harley’s smile turned kinder.

“But thank you. Not many people would care enough about me to try and come after me. In fact, look around,” she waved her arms around at the empty amusement park, “looks like you’re the only one.”

Ivy looked slightly sad at this, but then her eyes narrowed slightly.

“I saw on the news this morning that the Joker was seen escaping last night with a woman dressed like a clown. Please tell me that I’m wrong.”

“I was on TV!” screeched Harley, “How did I look?”

Ivy groaned.

“Why?” she asked, “Why Harleen? Did he force you?”

“I told you, it’s Harley now,” she said, “and the Joker didn’t force me to do anything. He’s not torturing me, though there has been some screaming.”

Ivy visibly shuddered.

“I  _ really _ don’t want to know what you get up to with that clown. But listen to me,” she said grabbing Harley’s hand and making her look at her, “it’s not too late. You can still have a normal life. The news hasn’t made the connection between you and the clown girl, but if you stay, they will. You should go before they make that connection, because eventually they will make it. You can still say that you were forced, go back to being a doctor, leave Gotham.”

Harley was frowning as Ivy spoke.

“No,” she said, “I don’t want to go back. I want to stay right here, with the Joker, as Harley Quinn.”

“Fine!” said Ivy, throwing her hands up, “Then don’t go back, but don’t stay here. You could come with me.”

Harley gave her a sad smile and shook her head.

“I’m sorry Ivy, but I’m staying. I’m not leaving him.”

Ivy sighed and put a hand on her forehead.

“Of all the psychopaths you could have fallen for, it just had to be him,” she said, “I guess I can’t convince you to leave, but I could force you.”

“You could try,” said Harley with a small smile, “but the Joker won’t let you, and I won’t go easily.” 

Ivy sighed again, then pulled Harley into a hug.

“Just be careful Harley,” she said pulling back, “and if you ever need to get away, come find me.”

She pressed a piece of paper with an address on it into Harley’s hand.

“Just don’t tell him,” she said, her eyes glancing behind Harley, as though expecting to see the Joker standing there, watching them. Harley nodded, putting the paper in her pocket.

“Thanks, but I won’t need it.”

“We’ll see about that,” said Ivy.

Harley watched Ivy until she disappeared and then went to join the Joker.  


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

Shopping Spree

Harley continued to train with Jonny for the next several weeks. She also trained along with a pair of twin sisters, Delia and Deidre Dennis, or the Dee Dee sisters. Harley quickly took a liking to the two girls and found that they were skilled and ferocious fighters.

As Harley’s fighting skills increased the Joker declared her ready to take a bigger role in their next crime spree and even let Harley pick the target. Harley picked the mall, wanting to do some shopping. It was decided that they would take over Gotham’s largest shopping mall and see how long they could hold everyone hostage. 

They chose a Saturday afternoon when the mall was the most packed and drove to the delivery entrance in a large cargo truck.

Harley stood in the back of the truck with the Joker. She was wearing the jester costume and had her bat with the barbed wire wrapped around it.

They were surrounded by a large group of the Joker’s goons all in spray painted riot gear and clown masks. Besides their usual guns and weapons the goons were also loaded down with bags to put the items they stole in. Some of them also had brightly colored packages that the Joker said were surprises for the Bat.  

The Dee Dee sisters were also there wearing matching outfits of red halter tops, white shorts with white belts, white hats that reminded Harley of a train conductor’s hat, shiny red go-go boots, and black chokers. They had put on short red wigs and green colored eye contacts, covering their normal long blond hair and blue eyes. Their makeup was a mixture between clown and raggedy Ann, with their faces painted white with black lipstick, large red circles on their checks, painted in thin black eyebrows, black eyeliner, and orangey freckles painted across their nose.    

They would stick with Harley when the Bat inevitably showed up.

Jonny wasn’t there because he had gotten hit in the leg with a batarang during a drug pickup the week before and the Joker told him that he would just slow them down so Jonny reluctantly agreed to stay behind. 

Harley felt the truck start backing up and leaned into the Joker who had an arm around her waist. The truck stopped moving and the engine was turned off. There was silence, then the sound of the truck door being opened and closed. Then the metal door at the back of the truck was opened. Harley saw two men who must work at the mall open the doors, they stared at the group in shock before the Joker stepped forward.

“Hello,” he greeted them with his signature smile and the two men’s surprise quickly transformed to terror. One reached for a walkie talkie on his belt, but the Joker was faster, taking down both men with a bullet to the head. 

“Move out!” he called and they all hopped out of the truck and headed through the warehouse like room and headed towards the mall entrance. 

They didn’t go in guns blazing, instead they simply walked in, men splitting off from the group and heading towards the exits to block them off. It was almost comical when people final noticed them. They would glance up for a moment and then do a double take, easily recognizing the Prince of Clowns with his white skin, green hair, and purple suit, surrounded by his men. 

Even more comical was the fact that people didn’t seem to know what to do. It was as though they were afraid that if they started running they would open fire on them.

A security officer saw them and grabbed for his belt, but Harley swung her bat into his face, causing him to crumble, his face covered in cuts from the barbed wire. 

The Joker paused and looked around the mall which was eerily silent, everyone staring at him in fear.

“This is boring,” he declared, then pointed his shotgun at the ceiling and fired it a few times. This seemed to break the spell and madness descended on the mall as everyone started panicking, screaming and running. The Joker threw back his head and roared with laughter as his goons began running into stores, preventing people from taking shelter in them, and then proceeded to rob the stores.  

The Joker and Harley easily made it to the small booth were announcements were made over the mall speakers. A man was sitting behind a desk and he didn’t even have a chance to stand before the Joker patted him on the shoulder, pricking him with a small needle that was attached to what looked like a joy buzzer on his palm. The man grew still, his skin becoming pale, his eyes bloodshot, then he smiled as the Joker venom made its way through his system. He would be dead in minutes. 

The Joker leaned over the desk and pressed a button and spoke into a speaker, “Testing, testing, one, two, three. Can everybody hear me?”

Harley stuck her head out of the booth and listened to the Joker’s voice echo through the mall.

“Loud and clear Mr. J,” she called to him.

“Good,” said the Joker, “Now listen up you buffoons. We’re going to play a little game of hide and seek. My men have sealed the doors and are wandering around the mall, and if they see you, they’ll shot! See if you can manage to not get caught. Winners survive, losers die. Game ends with the arrival of the big bad Bat. Good luck!” 

Harley could hear gunshots ring throughout the mall and a few screams.

“I want to go shopping!” she told the Joker, eagerly jumping up and down.

“Fine,” said the Joker, “go ahead and take whatever you want.”

Harley squealed and grabbed the Joker’s hand dragging him out into the mall. She skipped as the Joker walked beside her, his eyes scanning their surroundings in search for any unfortunate mall goers.   

Harley caught sight of movement out of the corner of her eye. The Joker saw it at the same time, his gun coming up to point at it. It was a mall cop riding on a segway, holding a taser in his hand.

“I got it,” said Harley before the Joker could shoot him. She ran towards the man did a flip into a cart wheel kicking the taser out of his hand and then punch him square in the nose, breaking it with a crunch. The man went flying off the segway and landed on the ground with a grown. 

The Joker picked up the discarded Taser and pointed it at the man.

“What do you say Pooh, want to have some fun with electricity?”

Harley cheered loudly as the Joker tased the mall cop causing him to spasm all over the floor. Eventually he lost consciousness causing them to lose interest in him and the Joker finished him off with a bullet through the brain.

“Let’s ride the segway!” said Harley jumping on, but she quickly discovered that it was much too slow for her tastes and took her bat to it.    

Harley’s eyes landed on one of the cars on display in one of the mall entrance ways. She let out a squeal of delight and grabbed the Joker’s arm and dragged him over to it, jumping into the front seat.

“What? Where are the keys?!” she cried, grabbing at the ignition.

“Allow me,” said the Joker reaching over and popping the hood. Harley couldn’t see what he did, but a few minutes later the car started and he jumped into the passenger seat. Harley took off, the tires skidding on the floor.

“Look out for pedestrians!” called the Joker.

Harley spotted something out of the corner of her eyes and slammed on the car’s brakes, causing it to come screeching to a halt. She threw the car into reverse to get a better look.

“I love that store!” she said with a gasp, then drove right into it, knocking over the display and causing a few people who were hiding behind it to run. The Joker broke the passenger window with his gun and leaned out to shot at them. 

Harley drove straight to the woman’s department, or more like through it, smashing the car into a wall. She began looking through the clothes, piling things up for one of the goons to pick up for her. The Joker quickly grew bored and left in search of more shoppers to terrorize. 

Harley was just leaving the store to find him when she heard more gunfire and cries of ‘it's the Bat!’

Harley quickly ran to the nearest escalator and ran up it, heading towards the shouts. She didn’t get very far when there was a shattering of glass and suddenly Harley was knocked off her feet, her baseball bat went flying from her hands. She rolled and quickly got back on her feet and turned to face her opponent. 

It was Batgirl, shards of glass fell off her cape as she moved into a defensive position. Harley hadn’t been expecting Batgirl to show up and she knew the Joker didn’t either. No one had spotted her in the last few months ever since Robin left Gotham to lead the Titans. Some people even thought that she had left with him, but apparently not. 

Harley ran at Batgirl and faked a punch and then kicked at her legs, but Batgirl jumped out of her way and grabbed Harley’s leg and threw her. Harley threw out an arm and twisted her body into a flip, landing on her feet hard, and instantly went into a crouch. But Batgirl was on her immediately and she was unable to block a hit to her stomach that knocked the breath out of her. 

She ducked out of the way of the next punch, which was aimed at her head, which seriously, shouldn’t heroes have to follow rules like no headshots?

Batgirl rained down blow after blow onto Harley, who was barely managing to block or dodge them, and she took several hits. She was backing up and knew she would be in trouble if Batgirl got her up against a wall. 

Rather than continue to back up, she hurled herself at Batgirl, who wasn’t expecting that. She managed to get a handful of her cape and yanked it over her head, blinding her. At the same time she pulled her gun out of her boot and pressed the barrel right into Batgirl’s stomach and fired it several times. 

Batgirl stumbled back, grunting in pain, but managed to yank her cape out of Harley’s grasp. Harley was disappointed with the lack of blood, whatever military grade gear she was wearing had protected her from the bullets. 

Harley aimed for the unprotected portion of Batgirl’s face, but Batgirl hurled a batarang at her, knocking the gun from her hand. Harley stared after her gun, and didn’t see Batgirl throw the bola at her. The ropes wrapped around her legs and with a tug Batgirl yanked Harley off her feet. 

Batgirl planted a foot on Harley’s chest and glared down at her.

“Who are you?” she hissed.

Before Harley could answer, Batgirl was thrown off of her, one of the Dee Dee twins tackling her around the waist. The other twin ran to Harley and helped her untangle the bola from around her legs and handed Harley her bat, then ran to join her sister in fighting Batgirl.

Harley watched as the twins forced Batgirl to go on the defense. Harley waited for an opening and then ran in and smashed the Bat down onto Batgirl’s head. The cowl, was heavily reinforced, so it absorbed most of the blow, but Batgirl still stumbled and was unable to get out of the way of Harley’s next hit, right across her face. Cuts opened up along her chin as the barbwire tore at her flesh.

The twins each grabbed one of Batgirl's’ arms as Harley sent blow after blow down on her, but Batgirl continued to struggle. One of the twins stepped too close to her when she tried to get a better grip and Batgirl kneed her in the gut causing her to double over. Batgirl threw up her free arm to block the next blow from the bat, but the other Dee Dee twin yanked on her arm, hard, causing her body to twist. The bat came down on her arm at an awkward angle and Harley heard a snap. For a second she thought it was the bat, but then Batgirl let out a scream of pain, her left arm going limp. 

Batgirl dropped into a crouch, dragging the Dee Dee sister still clinging to her arm down with her and smashed her into the floor, forcing her to let go. She grabbed something in her belt and threw it on the floor. 

Smoke exploded outward causing Harley to cough, blinding her and causing her eyes to water. Harley heard the sound of a grappling hook being discharged and when the smoke cleared, Batgirl was gone. 

Without Batgirl distracting her, Harley could now hear the sounds of gunfire and the Joker’s laughter coming from the other end of the mall, no doubt the Joker was taking on the Batman. 

Harley started running towards the noise, when suddenly, it stopped. For a moment Harley feared the worst, that Batman had gotten the Joker, but then she heard him laughing again. She caught sight of the Joker and ran towards him.

“Harley!” he called grinning, “Time to go, I just informed our guest about the nice presents that we’ve left for him around the mall and he was just so eager to go and open them.” 

The two headed for one of the emergency exits where a car was waiting for them, well not a car, an ambulance with one of the Joker’s goons already in the driver’s seat. The two jumped into the back and the ambulance took off, lights and sirens going.

Harley slumped to the floor with a groan, her torso aching from all the hits she had taken from Batgirl.

“Please tell me that there’s still drugs in here,” she moaned, “and someone better have grabbed my clothes.”

The Joker just laughed as she glared at him. 


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

Grin and Bare it

Harley sat on the edge of the bar in Fun Land sipping her drink. It was a Friday night and the club was crowded. Jess and Kat were on stage dancing along with the Dee Dee twins. It was slightly eerie watching the twins dance since the Dee Dee twins were identical twins and Kat and Jess looked like they could be twins. It made Harley feel like she was seeing double. 

Harley saw the Joker enter the club and look around, he looked mad. He saw her and waved her over.

“I have some business to take care of,” he told her, “you’re coming.”

Harley followed the Joker to the garage where Jonny sat in the driver’s seat of a bright green vehicle that looked like a cross between a jeep and a monster truck. Harley and the Joker both got into the back and they took off.

“Pick up the speed Jonny!” yelled the Joker, impatiently. 

Jonny took them to a shadier area of downtown Gotham. Harley could see the Joker growing more annoyed each time Jonny abided by traffic laws, stopping at lights and going the speed limit. The Joker looked ready to strangle him and Harley found her respect for Jonny increase, most men would have cracked under that gaze. 

They pulled into an alley and Harley saw a door with a small purple neon sign that said Grin and Bare It. They got out and entered what Harley realized was a strip club.

The club was dark with blinking multicolored lights. In the center of the room was a stage. Around the stage were tables, many set up for poker. There was a bar with a single bartender behind it. There were old slot machines spread throughout the room. 

“Stay here,” the Joker told Harley and Jonny and walked into the club, his eyes scanning the crowd. He looked like a predator in search of his prey. People stopped what they were doing to watch him.

“What’s going on?” Harley asked Jonny, “What is this place?”

“The Joker used to own this place,” said Jonny, “but when he was thrown in Arkham a few months back, Two-Face made a move. Took over the place and put one of his men in charge. The Joker didn’t know this though. He just found out tonight, and needless to say he’s pissed. I thought he knew.”

“But it’s a strip club,” said Harley, “What’s the big deal?”

Jonny grimaced at her words.

“It’s a big deal for two reasons,” he said, “the first one being that it makes the Joker look weak. Losing territory isn’t good, especially a club to Two-Face. Two-Face isn’t even in the club business, if Penguin took it over there would be a reason, he’s in the club business. But Two-Face took this place only because it was the Joker’s.

“This place is also more than it appears. The club is just a cover, just like Fun Land.”

Harley watched the Joker sit down with a nervous looking man in an ill fitting suit who she assumed was the owner of the club. The Joker was talking to the man who was shaking his head. Harley stepped closer to hear what they were saying.

“The club is not for sale,” the man was telling the Joker, sweat dripping off his forehead as he refused to look at the Joker’s face.

“Oh, but come on Franky boy,” said the Joker, “do this for me. Do this for your old pale Joker.”

“My name’s not Franky and I don't know you,” said the man, “and I told you, it’s not for sale. You’ll have to talk to Two-Face.”

“I hate talking to that guy,” said the Joker, sounding close to whining, “you never know where to look and he always repeats everything he says. But maybe this will change your mind.”

The Joker snapped his fingers and Jonny walked up and set a dufflebag on the table. The Joker opened it, revealing piles of bound bills. The man’s eyes widened at the sight of all that money, then narrowed.

“Wait a minute,” he said picking up some of the bills, “this isn’t real money!”

Harley leaned forward and saw that he was right, the bills weren’t quite the right shade of green and on closer inspection Harley could see that they all had pictures of the Joker’s face on them.

The Joker threw back his head and laughed, “They’re Joker bills!” 

The man glared at the Joker as he continued to laugh uncontrollably.

“So what do you say?” asked the Joker, breathing hard, “Do accept my offer?”

“I most certainly do not,” said the man, pushing the duffel bag towards the Joker, who stopped laughing and pouted.

“Alright,” he said, “I see you won’t change your mind. It was nice talking business with you.”

He held out his hand for the man to shake. The man stared at the Joker for a moment before cautiously taking his hand. The man’s body jolted, going still for a moment, before spasms raked through his body, he screamed in pain and tried to pull his hand out of the Joker’s but the Joker squeezed tighter. 

The club patrons had gone completely silent as they watched the man, who was screaming and looked as though he was having a seizure of some sort. Then the man went silent, his screams cutting off. His body continued to move, his muscles flexing, but Harley knew he was dead. The Joker let go of the body and it flopped to the floor, the spasms slowing.

He held up his hand for everyone to see the silver button on it.

“Joy buzzer,” he said in explanation. He looked at Harley with a grin, “Now that’s how you have fun with electricity.” 

The Joker got up and walked to the stage and jumped onto it, causing the women on it to run away in terror.

“Ladies and gentleman,” he said spreading his arms wide, “It’s good to be back! Did you miss me?”

He looked around the club with a small frown.

“I don’t think you did,” he said, “and I’ve been thinking hard and long about what to do, well not that long, just the car ride over. But I’ve reached a decision, I will let you live, so you can spread the news of my triumphant return.”

The Joker jumped off the stage and headed towards the door, Harley and Jonny following him out, but the Joker paused and turned back to look into the club.

“On second thought,” he said, “I’m so unpredictable.”

He pulled out a small canister in the side of the dufflebag, which Jonny had picked up. He turned it, rotating the top with a click and threw it into the club. With a hiss white gas started spewing out of the canister. The Joker laughed as people started screaming in fear and slammed the door shut. He pulled out a canister that looked like a spray can and sprayed a substance along the edges of the door. The substance hardened on contact with the door, sealing it, trapping everyone inside. 

“Or perhaps killing everyone is pretty predictable,” he said, “Oh well.”

Harley could hear muffled screams and people banging on the door, trying to open it.

“This is a new formula,” said the Joker, “I’m curious what will happen. Isn't science great!”

“The greatest!” agreed Harley.

“What are you going to do about Two-Face boss?” asked Jonny.

“I’m not sure yet Jonny boy,” said the Joker, a sinister edge touching his smile, “can't stand the guy, but he's totally insane, and I gotta appreciate that in a person. But I’m sure I’ll think of something fun.”


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

Broken Toys

The next day the Joker sent a group of goons to collect the bodies from the Grin and Bare It to take to his lab so he could study the effects of the gas. But to the goons surprise, there were no bodies to collect , because everyone in the club was still alive, mostly. Their skin had turned a pasty gray color and their eyes were rimmed with red. They appeared to be pretty much brain dead, standing around, doing nothing but stare into space. But if they became aggravated they would become almost rapid and attack anything in sight. 

The Joker was thrilled with the result of his latest experiment, saying that they were the closest to zombies he had ever gotten. He even sent in a goon to try to teach them to moan ‘brains,’ but to his disappoint it didn’t it work, though they did tear the goon limb from limb.   

After getting the strip club back the Joker declared that he needed to increase his wealth, by robbing a bank. Or more specifically, the bank that he knew Two-Face used to hold his money under a false name. The Joker said that it was only fair since he had lost out on the money the club would have made if Two-Face hadn't taken it from him.

The Joker declared that he would do the job the old fashion way, and try to not get the Bat’s attention. To distract the Bat he had bombs set up around the city. He spread them out on opposite sides of the city to force Batman and Batgirl to split up to disarm them in time, so neither of them would make it to the bank.

Though if everything went off smoothly, no one would even know that the bank was robbed until they were gone. The Joker wanted to make sure everything went off smoothly and that every dollar disappeared from Two-Face’s vault. 

Rather than use his own men the Joker hired five street thugs with various skills for the job. The only person from his current organization that would be helping him during the robbery was Harley, and Jonny would arrive later for pickup.

Harley rode in the passenger seat of the van with the Joker driving. Three of the hired thugs were in the back while the other two were using grappling hooks to get to the bank's roof from the next building over to turn off the silent alarm. Though Harley knew that at least one of them, if not both of them, wouldn’t be joining them because the Joker had given each of them orders to kill the other once the job was done. 

The Joker pulled the van right up to the bank’s front entrance and they got out. Harley was wearing her jester costume and the Joker was wearing a dark purple suit. The thugs were dressed in normal clothes though they wore clown masks. 

They entered the bank, guns drawn, and the Joker fired his gun into the air several times to get everyone’s attention while one of the thugs shot the guard at the entrance.

Harley ran forward and jumped onto the table near the center of the bank where people could fill out their deposit slips. She held a gun in her right hand and a, oversized wooden mallet with a red smiley face drawn on it in her left hand.

“Alright,” she called to the panicking crowd, “this is Gotham so I’m sure you’ve all been in a situation like this before and you know what to do.” 

Two of the thugs began rounding up everyone, corralling everyone into a corner with their guns. They zip tied everyone's wrists and then the Joker forced a grenade into their hands, forcing them to hold down the release or set it off. While this was going on the third thug was working on breaking into the vault. 

Harley jumped off the table and skipped to the vault to check on the progress. 

“How’s it going back here?” Harley asked the man.

“Almost there…” said the man, “got it!”

“Good,” said Harley as the vault swung open, she then shot the man in the back of the head. She went back and told the remaining thugs to go collect the money. They grabbed the duffle bags full of Joker money that they would replace the actual money with and went to do their jobs.

Suddenly an arm grabbed Harley from behind and a gun was pressed to her head. It looked like a bank teller who had somehow managed to stay out of sight during their initial sweep of the bank and was trying to play hero.

“Drop your weapons,” said the man and Harley threw aside her gun and mallet as the gun pressed harder into her temple.

“Do you have any idea who you’re robbing?” growled the man, so scratch that, not a bank teller, one of Two-Face’s men planted to keep an eye on his money.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” called the Joker, appearing in front of the man. He was pointing his gun at the man, his eyes on Harley.

“Drop your weapon or I’ll shoot,” yelled the man, but the Joker made no move to drop his gun and continued to point it at the man. 

“I’ll give you to the count of three to let her go,” said the Joker speaking slowly, “One... two...” 

He didn’t make it to three. The man turned his gun from Harley to the Joker and fired. The Joker crumbled to the ground, unmoving. A second later Harley heard a loud thud and she was released, the man crumbling to the ground, either unconscious or dead, she wasn’t sure.

Harley turned to see one of the thugs holding her discarded mallet. He reached up and yanked off his clown mask and grinned at her. 

“Gotta be more careful Harls,” he told her, still grinning, and Harley returned the Joker’s grin.

“Sorry Mr. J,” she said, “I’ll be more careful next time.” 

The Joker went over to the man, who Harley could now see was just unconscious, and dragged him over to the wall. He kept adjusting where he put the man, seeming to examine the wall before nodding, seemingly happy with the man’s placement. 

The remaining thug was carrying the duffel bags into the room and piling them up.

“Is that all of them?” asked the Joker, when the thug nodded, the Joker shot him. He looked at the wall that the man lay in front of, “and three, two, one.”

The wall exploded inwards as a school bus backed straight through the bank wall, one of its wheels running over the unconscious man. Jonny opened the back emergency door on the bus and the Joker began passing him the duffle bags. Once all the bags were loaded onto the bus the Joker and Harley got on and Jonny drove off, reentering traffic. They had chosen a Wednesday afternoon at a time when school was just getting out, so they were surrounded by other school buses. 

Jonny drove the bus to an abandoned factory where a group of the Joker’s men were waiting for them.

Harley went into the warehouse as the bus was unloaded. It was an abandoned toy factory with discarded toys everywhere. In the center of the warehouse were the zombie like people from the club. Half of them had clown masks on and the other were dressed in clothes that were white on one side and black on the other. 

“How do they look Harley?” asked the Joker walking up next to her.

“Great,” she said, “but what’s it for?”

“Well, you see Harley,” he said, “I’ve been keeping an eye on old Harvey and discovered his hideout. He’s hit a bit of a low spot it seems, hiding out in the sewers that run under Second Street. But you see his love for the number two will be his downfall, for that’s right next to Killer Croc’s current lair.”

After escaping during the riot Batman had found Killer Croc and the two had fought, but Croc had escaped into the sewers, and rather than search for him, Batman had decided to follow up on the sightings of the Joker. A choice he was probably regretting now, with both Killer Croc and the Joker still at large. 

“Now I’ve told the Croc about his intruders,” continued the Joker, “but unfortunately he didn’t seem to care. You see, he’s a surprisingly gentle soul for a cold blooded reptile, unless you start shooting at him, then he goes berserk, which is my favourite aspect about him. But I’m going to force the big reptile into going after Two-Face.”

“How?” asked Harley frowning.

“Tomorrow morning our crocodile friend will receive a rather rude awakening from Two-Face’s men,” he indicated the people dressed to look like Two-Face, “so what’s for him to do, but go attack Two-Face’s lair, which he knows the location of thanks to me.”

“Okay,” said Harley, “but what about the clowns?”

“Well I need to make sure Two-Face knows about my involvement, so while he’s being attacked by Killer Croc on one side, I’ll send these clowns to attack him from the other side.”

“So he’ll be attacked by a giant crocodile and zombie clowns at the same time?” said Harley staring at the Joker in disbelief.

The Joker gave her a manic grin, “Yep! What do you think?” 

“I think it’s totally insane,” said Harley, “and sounds like a bad science-fiction movie.”

“Exactly!” said the Joker, “And that’s why each of our zombies will be equipped with a camera that will send the footage directly to my phone! By tomorrow night our little home video will be all over the news! Hopefully I’ll get some footage of Two-Face screaming. It’ll just be some fun among friends.”

“Do you think Two-Face will make it out?” she asked, thinking of the carnage ridden hallway in Arkham after Killer Croc got out of his cell.  

“Oh I’m sure he’ll make it,” said the Joker dismissively, “he’s like me that way, makes it out of anything. He’s like a cockroach, always survives, but he’s a half squashed cockroach...”

“Ok,” said Harley, “I think I get the picture.”

“Good,” said the Joker, “‘cause I don’t know where I was going with that.” 

The Joker left to talk to his men leaving Harley to wander around the warehouse. She quickly discovered that all the toys appeared to be either damaged or incomplete. She thought it was rather sad. She began searching through the piles of toys, searching for one that was intact.

“Harley!” called the Joker and Harley looked up from where she sat searching through a mound of stuffed animals that appeared to have been used as practice targets by the Joker’s goons. The Joker was looking down at her from the balcony where an office overlooking the factory was located.

Harley clambered down the pile and ran up to join the Joker.

“What were you doing?” said the Joker once she stood next to him.

“I wanted to find a toy that wasn’t damaged,” said Harley looking down at the piles of toys, “but I think it’s impossible.” 

The Joker frowned at her for a moment before leading her into the office where Jonny was unpacking a box of Chinese food. 

They would be staying the night in the warehouse on cots that the Joker kept there. The Joker didn’t say anything when Harley pushed her cot over so that it was right next to the Joker’s, though he did warn her that he would be gone when she woke up. He was leaving early to force Penguin to invest the stolen money. 

Harley was restless, going in and out of sleep. At some point during the night the Joker got up, leaving her alone. When Harley finally slept, she had strange dreams that she couldn’t quite remember when she woke up.

It was late judging from the sunlight streaming in through the dirty windows, and the Joker was gone, but on his cot was a stuffed beaver. 

Harley blinked a few times before picking it up and examining it. The stuffed animal was intact and was rather cute. She smiled at it and hugged it to her.

“I’m going to name you Bernie.”


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

Thieves in the Night

The museum skylight opened soundlessly and the figure dropped to the floor, keeping to the shadows. 

There were cries of alarm from the next hall over and she quickly headed towards the noise, cape flying out behind her. She saw a group of security guards, who were desperately talking into walkie talkies that appeared to not be working. One of the guards caught sight of her.

“Batgirl!” he cried, causing the others to look at her where she stood in the shadows.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Two-Face and his thugs are down the hall,” said a second security guard.

Two-Face? That wasn’t the name she was expecting to hear.

“Stay here,” she told the guards, “I got this.”

She ran down the hall along the wall, keeping to the shadows. She could hear voices up ahead. She cautiously moved forward and saw a group of men who appeared to be looking for something. At the front of the group was a man with half his face scarred. His suit was split down the middle, half black, half white. Two-Face.

It figured he was here. That day a new exhibit had been setup to open the next day. It was antique mirrors, all worth a fortune due to the precious metals they were made from. And they also came in pairs. The perfect heist for Two-Face to make up his lost fortune after the Joker robbed him.

“Freeze!” she yelled, and the men all turned to face her, guns going up, but she charged them, diving down when they started firing. She grabbed the two nearest, knocking them of their feet.

“Both hands up Batgirl,” yelled Two-Face, training his gun on her. She allowed herself a small grin.

“I don’t think so,” she reached into her belt and hurled an object at Two-Face causing him to flinch. But instead of the bola or smoke bomb he was expecting, a bunch of colorful streamers burst over him. He stared at them in confusion before looking closer at Batgirl, squinting slightly.

“You’re not Batgirl,” he stated.

“What gave it away?” asked Harley stepping into the light, pulling off the cowl and tossing the red wig aside. Without the cover of the shadows it was easy to see that the costume was just a parody of Batgirl’s with the same design, but the colors were done in red and black the same way as her jester costume. 

“What are you doing here?” demanded Two-Face, aiming his gun at her.

Harley rolled her eyes, hands on her hips.

“Same reason as you,” she said, “Joker wants those mirrors.”

“Sorry,” said Two-Face, the undamaged side of his face turning up into a vicious looking grin, “you’re too late, they’re mine.”

“Ah, too bad,” said Harley, “me and the Joker were so looking forward to smashing them. The Joker promised to take me to the Palace of Versailles one day so I can smash the hall of mirrors. But I guess I was too late, how sad.”

She waved at the men, then did a backflip and started cartwheeling away. They stared after in confusion. She made it back to the skylight she had entered through and used a grappling hook the Joker had taken from Batman, and used it to get to the roof. She quickly ran across the roof and jumped down into a back alley. There, a group of the Joker’s men were loading a van.

“You got the mirrors?” she asked.

“Yeah,” said one of the men and Harley glanced into the van at the gold encrusted mirrors.

“Good,” she said, get them back to warehouse before Two-Face sees you.”

She wished she could see Two-Face’s reaction when he realized that she had just been a distraction for the Joker’s men to sneak in through a backdoor and grab the mirrors. 

Harley watched the van leave then used the grappling hook to propel herself onto a rooftop, she could get used to this.

She began running across the rooftops, leaping across the gaps going from roof to roof, the cape flowing out behind her. Maybe she should think about adding a cape to her costume. But as soon as she thought it she could hear the Joker laughing at her. She’d leave the capes to the Batfamily. 

She hoped that people would look up and see her and think that she was the real Batgirl. She laughed as she landed on the next roof and went into a roll. 

Then she caught sight of movement ahead of her and froze. Shit. This was definitely not the time to run into Batman. Or worse, the real Batgirl. 

Harley ducked down and watched the figure moving across the rooftops. It was definitely a woman, but she didn’t think it was Batgirl. Harley laughed quietly when she realized who it was and stood up.

“Hey kitty cat,” she called, making the figure freeze. The woman cautiously approached Harley after a moment. She was wearing a skin tight back catsuit with a hood with cat ears and red tinted goggles. She had a black bag over her shoulder.

“You’re not Batgirl,” she said, the corner of her mouth turning upwards.

“So I’ve been told,” replied Harley, she held her hand out, “I’m Harley Quinn.”

Catwoman shook Harley’s hand looking amused.

“Selina Kyle,” she said, “I’ve heard about you. You’re the Joker’s girl.”

“That’s me,” said Harley grinning. She indicated the bag, “Get anything good?”

Selina opened the bag to let Harley see, “Just some jewellery from Gotham’s rich and spoiled.”

Harley picked up a gold necklace with a chain made of thick links and a large red ruby.

“Oohh,” she said, “It’s so gaudy! I love it!”

Selina laughed.

“You can keep it,” she told her.

“Really?” asked Harley and Selina nodded. She took the necklace from Harley and hooked it around her neck.

“Red is more your color,” she said with a small smile. She then glanced over her shoulder, scanning the rooftops, “If I were you I’d get going. I may have purposely set off the alarm on the last house in the hopes of the Batman making an appearance.”

“Ah, got it,” said Harley with a wink, “have fun.”

She waved to Selina who gave her a small wave back as she started running along the rooftops.

“See you around!” she called as Selina disappeared into the night. 

She had heard the rumors about Batman and Catwoman’s strange relationship, and though she couldn’t understand it, she wasn’t about to interfere in Selina’s love life. Though how would anyone want to be with Batman? He took himself way too seriously. But then again, he was pretty buff, and he had a nice chin at least, and those muscles...okay, maybe she could understand it.

She ran in the direction of Fun Land and back to the Joker who see knew would be waiting for her. Maybe she could understand Selina’s interest in the Batman, but she still thought she got the better deal.


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

Late Night Chat

Two-Face was furious with the Joker, who complained that the man couldn’t take a joke. Thanks to the video that the Joker had played through the news of Two-Face’s men being slaughtered by Killer Croc, everyone new his criminal organization had taken a huge blow. Though the Joker hadn’t managed to get footage of Two-Face screaming in fear like he had hoped, the footage still made the crime lord look weak.

His arm was nearly taken off by a swipe of Killer Croc’s claws and the Joker had wondered allowed about what the man would have done if he had lost an arm. Would he have chopped his other arm off to make it symmetrical?  

News of Two-Face’s failed attempt at stealing the mirrors to help replenish his fortune also hadn't helped his reputation.

Two-Face had been forced to abandon his hideout now that it’s location was known to all of Gotham. He had managed to get out before the Bat arrived, though Killer Croc wasn’t so lucky and was back in Arkham.

The Joker was to meet with Penguin and Two-Face to make peace, and he didn’t want Harley anywhere nearby. He said he didn't trust her not to screw things up for him, but Harley was sure that he was really just worried about her safety, just like she was worried about his.

Harley stayed at the toy factory for close to a week before the Joker allowed her to return to Fun Land. Johnny picked her up in a cop car in the middle of the night and after some persuasion she convinced him to turn the sirens on. 

She was glad to return to the abandoned amusement park and more importantly, the Joker. Being in the factory with only a few goons for company was lonely. She had spent her time looking through the damaged toys and holding Bernie the beaver. 

Being away from the Joker had given her time for troubling thoughts, troubling thoughts for Harleen Quinzel that is. When she was with the Joker it was like nothing mattered, consequences didn't matter. He allowed her to be Harley Quinn, the wild girl she had always tried to control all her life. And when had she started thinking of Harleen Quinzel and Harley Quinn as two different people? She knew that this should alarm her, but she couldn’t bring herself to care anymore.   

But being away from him made the more logical side of her brain act up. It made her start to question her actions. Harley wanted to ignore this voice and she knew that being with the Joker would silence the voice. 

Jonny pulled into the garage and Harley couldn't help but make fun of him for how slow he drove, especially compared to the Joker who didn't slow down when he entered the garage and had to slam on his brakes each time. 

Standing in the garage, waiting for her, was the Joker. Harley locked eyes with him, her heart seemed to still, and without consciously thinking about it she jumped out of the still moving vehicle. Jonny cried out in alarm, but she ignored him, running at the Joker who spread his arms. She jumped into his arms and wrapped herself around him, clinging to him. 

“Harley!” he cried, laughing at her antics, “Did you miss me?”

“Sure did Mr. J,” she said nuzzling his neck. 

“No problems Jonny?” asked the Joker as the man approached after parking the car. 

“No problems boss,” he replied, “I can keep an eye on the men for the night.”

The Joker nodded and carried Harley out of the garage and into their bedroom. He put her onto the edge of the bed.

“Clothes off,” he told her, and she immediately started ripping her clothes off as fast as she could until she was completely naked. She wanted his hands on her so bad, had missed him, had missed his heat.

She was like an addict yearning for the Joker like a drug. A part of her was aware that this was unhealthy, that the Joker had managed to gain too much power of her in such a short period of time. But with him there it was easy to ignore that voice and just enjoy the moment. 

The Joker put a hand on her neck and her hip and pushed her down onto the bed, his eyes sweeping over her body. His grip was tight and Harley swallowed hard, her heart beating fast as his grip tightened against her throat.  

“You really did miss me, didn’t you Harley.”

“Yes Mr. J,” she said, her voice a whisper.

The hand on her hip trailed up over her skin to wrap around her neck as well. He leaned over her, putting weight on her throat and she struggled to swallow. His grip continued to tighten, slowly cutting off her oxygen. Fear began coursing through Harley, but she refused to let it show as she struggled to remain calm. She didn’t know what game the Joker was playing, but she wasn’t about to back out now.

Harley began to feel lightheaded, but she continued to stare down the Joker.

The Joker’s eyes locked with Harley, he seemed to be searching for something. He frowned and his grip tightened for a moment before he suddenly let go and leaned back, watching her as she gasped in air.

“What’s the point with you?” the Joker muttered to himself. He looked back at Harley. “You’re an odd one, aren’t you?” he said with a frown.

“What?” asked Harley, her voice slightly hoarse as she struggled to breath normally. 

“You trust me,” said the Joker. He said it like a statement. 

“Yes,” said Harley without any hesitation.

The Joker’s frown deepened.

“Why?”

Harley sat up to look at him, frowning slightly herself.

“Because I,” she started, “I know you won’t kill me.” 

The Joker snorted.

“You’ve put your trust in the wrong person doll,” he said.

Before Harley could respond he pushed her down onto the bed again and leaned over her. Harley reached for the hem of his shirt, but he pushed her hands away. He undid his pants and pulled them down then grabbed her wrists and held them above her head with one hand. 

Harley spread her legs for him invitingly as he entered her. Harley gave a small gasp at the feeling of him inside her. She had missed this, missed him. 

The Joker pulled out of her entirely and Harley moaned at the absence before he slammed right back into her. He snapped into her hard and fast, fucking her aggressively, his movements just on the edge of painful and viscous. 

Harley threw back her head, watching the Joker through her eyelashes, enjoying the moment and the pleasure and pain he was giving her. She was vulnerable to his every desire, just along for the ride. 

He pulled out of her again, his cock wet with their liquids, and grabbed her hips. He flipped her over onto her stomach and pulled her hips up towards him. She positioned her arms under her on the bed, her breasts rubbing against the sheets. The Joker repositioned himself behind her and re-entered her, thrusting in from behind. His hands held her hips in place hard enough to bruise and she gripped the sheets as he pounded into her. Her ass bumped against him and she felt the zipper on his pants dig into her skin painfully. 

The position allowed the Joker free access to her body, and Harley was completely submissive under his onslaught. 

His hips jerked as he drew closer to his orgasm and Harley felt his cock tighten inside her and leaned back into him, making each impact more intense. The Joker’s eyes rolled back into his head as he let go, filling her up. He pulled out of her and straightened his pants. 

He turned as if to leave, but Harley grabbed his arm.

“Hey!” she said, slightly outraged, “I didn’t finish!” 

“I have a meeting,” he told her, ignoring her and heading towards the door.

“Meeting?” she cried, “What meeting? It’s almost midnight!”

The Joker continued to ignore her as he headed for the door.

“No!” she yelled, getting up and following him. She yanked on his arm hard, trying to make him turn around and face her.

The Joker turned and grabbed her and threw across the room, she landed on the edge of the bed and slid off, onto the floor. Harley could only stare after him as he left the room. 

Anger coursed through her and she leapt up and ran to the door, just to find it locked. She groaned in frustration before heading to the bathroom to take a quick, cold shower; the cool felt good on her neck. She got dressed in a pair of black leggings and a sheer red top and put her hair in pigtails. She threw on a white scarf to hide any marks on her neck.  

She went back to the door now that she was dressed and pounded on it with her fists.

“Hey!” she yelled, “Let me out of here!”

She continued to do this for several minutes before the door was finally opened, causing her to stumble. She stalked past the goon who had opened the door.

“You’re not supposed to leave!” he called after her, but Harley ignored him.

She walked into the recreation room and a few of the Joker’s men looked up at her in surprise. One of them stood up.

“The Joker wants you to stay in his room,” he told her.

Harley glared at him.

“Yeah well, I’m not staying,” she informed him, “I can do what I want. He doesn’t own me.”

She stormed past the man, who made a grab for her arm, but Harley easily grabbed his wrist and bent it back, breaking it. He doubled over in pain, clutching his arm with a cry.

“Don’t you dare try and touch me,” she snarled.

She continued past him into the garage. She scanned the cars debating which one to take when her eyes landed on a small red civic. She ran to the car in surprise and examined it. It was her old car; when had the Joker had it brought here? It was unlocked, the keys on the seat. She got in and started it, music blaring through the radio. She drove out of the garage and left Fun Land.

She drove through the streets of Gotham with no real destination in mind. She wasn’t sure where to go. She new she couldn’t go to her apartment since the police would probably be watching it, and she didn’t want to truly leave the Joker. She just needed to get away for a little while. 

She must have been driving for close to twenty minutes when it hit her. Ivy! She pulled over and took out her phone. She had entered the address Ivy had given her into it and put it into her GPS. She pulled back into traffic as she listened to the instructions. She new vaguely where the address was, but rarely went to that part of the city. The address was located near a toxic waste dump that was considered uninhabitable after a spill contaminated the sight and the land around it. 

As she got closer she realized that her phone was leading her onto the toxic waste site. She drove forward cautiously, driving past multiple no trespassing signs. She was just thinking that she must have made some mistake, when her headlights landed on a small house. 

The house appeared to have been a light yellow at one point, but now it was covered in ivy, the vines covering every surface except the roof, which was covered in a layer of moss. Around the house was what could only be loosely called a garden, with a variety of plants growing wild.

Behind the house Harley could just make out a couple of glass greenhouses.

She parked her car and got out. She knocked on the door, but got no response. She began to think this was a bad idea. It was two in the morning, Ivy was probably sound asleep. She turned to go back to her car, when suddenly something grabbed her ankle and she was yanked back. Her limbs were grabbed and held tight and she realized that she was being attacked by some sort of vine like plant. She struggled, but she couldn't get free.

“You’ve made a big mistake in coming here,” said a woman's voice, and Ivy stepped into view. Her eyes widened when she saw Harley.

“Harley!” she cried, and with a snap of her fingers the plant released her, “What are you doing here? Are you alright?” 

She grabbed Harley and began running her hands over her body as though looking for injuries.

“I’m fine Red!” Harley said with a chuckle, her anger from earlier melting away, “I just needed a break, plus I missed you.”

“Let's talk inside,” said Ivy leading her to the house into a living room that was packed with potted plants. 

“You’ve got a nice guard plant,” commented Harley as she flopped down onto a couch, being careful not to hit any plants. 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” said Ivy, “I was expecting Batgirl. She's been after me since I robbed a gardening store last week.” 

Harley examined Ivy as she moved around the room. She was wearing black leggings and a green sports bra, her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she was barefoot.

“Did I wake you?” asked Harley.

“No,” said Ivy, “I was out in the greenhouse, some of the plants only bloom at night.” 

Ivy walked over to her with a syringe in her hand.

“I need to give you this,” she said holding up the syringe, “it will allow you to stay here without getting sick, otherwise the chemicals around her will damage your body.”

Harley pouted, “I hate needles.”

“Suck it up,” said Ivy, taking her arm. Harley squirmed for a moment, but stilled with a look from Ivy.

“Suck it up buttercup,” she muttered to herself as Ivy injected her with the syringe, making the redhead smile for a moment. 

“Alright,” said Ivy once she disposed of the syringe, “what did the Joker do?” 

“I don't want to talk about the Joker,” whined Harley.

“Did he hurt you?” demanded Ivy, sitting down across from Harley. 

“No,” said Harley, “I’m fine.”

“Harley,” said Ivy, “you came here for a reason. Tell me why.”

“Can't I just come visit you?”

“Of course you can,” said Ivy with a small smile, “but that would be more believable if it wasn't the middle of the night.”

Harley was silent for a moment, staring up at the ceiling and breathing in the scent of the plants and dirt. 

“Do you think the Joker would kill me?” she asked quietly after a little while. 

“Yes,” said Ivy with no hesitation, “he’s a sociopath and a psychopath, which you should know better than most. He doesn't care about anyone, not really. He can only fake it.”

“But we can't be sure about that,” argued Harley, “he never got an official diagnosis. No one could agree about him and he acted differently around each doctor. No one is entirely sure about him.” 

“Why are you asking me this?” asked Ivy when Harley fell silent. 

“I,” said Harley, hesitating, “I think that he tried to kill me tonight, but something stopped him.” 

She told Ivy about how the Joker had been choking her and had suddenly stopped and how he had seemed confused.

“It's because he saw something in your eyes that he’s never seen in any of his victims before,” said Ivy, “love.” 

Harley sat up and looked at Ivy, frowning.

“What makes you say that? How do you know this?” she asked.

“I don't know for sure,” said Ivy, “though it’s obvious that you seem to think that you’re in love with that clown. And I may not be a psychologist, but I am a doctor.”

Harley smiled slightly, brushing her fingers along the leaves of one of the plants.

“A plant doctor,” she said making Ivy smile, “but what you're saying does make some sense. I'm an anomaly to the Joker, something interesting. In order to stay alive, I need to keep him interested.” 

“No,” said Ivy, her voice growing cold, “you can leave him. You shouldn't have to be in a relationship like that. You can get out of it.”

Harley knew that back when Ivy was still Pamela Isley she had been engaged to a man who had been killed in a car crash. But during what should have been a routine autopsy, it was discovered that the man had been suffering from a fungal infection that was slowly killing him. The fungus was from the South American rainforest and further testing revealed that it had been genetically modified, presumably by Ivy herself. It was believed that if he hadn't died in the crash, he would have been Ivy’s first victim.

Harley wondered if Ivy’s fiancé had abused her. It would explain why she seemed to hate men with such a passion and was so concerned for her. 

“No,” said Harley, “I don't want to leave the Joker. I think he really does care about me.”

Ivy sighed, “You’re going to insist on learning this hard way, aren't you?”

“No, I’m going to prove everyone wrong,” said Harley, “I’m going to prove to everyone that the Joker is capable of love, and that he loves me.” 

Ivy just shook her head.

“I really don't want to argue with you,” she said.

“Then don't,” said Harley, “Can you show me your plants?”

The change of topic made Ivy completely forgot about the Joker as she brought Harley out to her greenhouse and told her all about her plants. Harley didn’t so much as focus on Ivy’s words as much as just listen to her talk. It was refreshing to hear her enthusiasm for her plants and she had a lot to say about them. 

Time passed quickly and before Harley knew it the sky was beginning to lighten. 

“Ivy,” she said, interrupting the redhead, “I think I should head back.”

Ivy frowned, the concern easily seen in her eyes, but she didn’t argue, which Harley was grateful for. Ivy walked with her to her car.

“You can visit anytime you want,” said Ivy and then gave Harley a brief hug.

Harley gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks,” she said with a grin before getting into her car.

She drove back to Fun Land as the sun began to rise. When she arrived she learned that the Joker was still in his meeting. His men seemed relieved that she had returned before the meeting had finished, for none of them wanted to explain to the Joker about how she had left. 

Harley went to the kitchen and began to make pancakes. Everything appeared to be going pretty well until it came time to cook them, and then she remembered why she never cooked.

“Impressive,” said the Joker over her shoulder, startling her, “I didn’t know it was possible for them to be burnt and runny at the same time.”

Harley blushed as she looked down at the pancake monstrosity. She turned off the stove and turned around to face the Joker. 

“How about we don’t have pancakes,” she said, “I can make something else.”

“Maybe we should stick to pre prepared food,” suggested the Joker, making Harley’s blush deepen. 

“Alright,” she said opening the fridge, “What do you want?”

“Hmmm,” hummed the Joker, jumping up onto the counter, “What about...chocolate pudding.”

Harley laughed, “For breakfast?”

He nodded eagerly, looking more like an excited little kid than the man who had nearly strangled her.

Harley laughed again and a quick search through the fridge found a whole draw full of the chocolate pudding cups. She tossed one to the Joker before taking one for herself. She watched as he began eating it with his fingers, refusing the spoon she offered him. 

“You really love it, don’t you,” she said as she opened her pudding and began eating it the same way, “Maybe I should start calling you pudding.”

The Joker paused and glanced up at her, a brow raised.

“Yeah,” said Harley, “I like that. Puddin’.” 

The Joker threw back his head and laughed as Harley grinned at him. She could do this. The Joker did love her, and if he didn’t, she would make him.   


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Entertainment

Harley sat with the Joker in an SUV with tinted windows. It was late and they were parked on the street in Gotham’s business district. They had gone to a movie theater and filled garbage bags with popcorn, took candy, and got several large icies, mixing the different flavors together. 

They sat, munching on their stolen snacks as they watched the nights entertainment. Firefly was flying through the sky, his flamethrower lighting up the sky. Chasing after him was Batman. They cheered as Firefly sent a stream of flames towards Batman, then booed when Batman grappled out of the way and continued the chase unharmed.

“Fry him!” yelled the Joker, his mouth full of popcorn.

Harley dumped another box of Milk Duds into her bag of popcorn and mixed it up so they melted and covered the popcorn. 

Outside, the Bat was forced to jump off a building to avoid another jet of flames, and just managed to use a grappling hook to stop his fall and swing up onto another roof.

“I hope he falls,” said the Joker.

He flipped through their selection of candy bars, not taking his eyes off the Bat who was preventing Firefly from flying away by hurling a net at him, which caused him to drop several feet through the air as he struggled to remove the net. 

Harley picked up one of the drinks and took a sip. She frowned slightly at the taste.

“What kinds are in this one?” she asked the Joker.

He frowned, his head tilted and his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

“Blueberry, watermelon and mango I think,” he said.

“It’s weird,” said Harley, “I can’t decide if I like it or not.”

She took another sip of the drink. The Joker opened his mouth and Harley held the drink up for him to sip. 

The Joker’s phone beeped and Harley picked it up from the center console when the Joker made no move to check it.

“Batgirl just stopped a mugging,” she said scanning the news article that popped up, “that’s the third mugging tonight. Between the muggings and the convenience store robbery, she’s been busy. It also looks like she’s heading in this direction.” 

“Probably to give the B-Man an assist,” said the Joker biting into a chocolate bar.

“I wonder what his childhood was like.”

“Hmm?” asked the Joker, glancing briefly at her.

“Batman,” said Harley, “something must have happened to him. I mean, his behavior isn’t exactly normal.”

   “Who knows,” said the Joker dismissively, “wife could have been killed in a hit and run, friend could have overdosed, parents killed in a mugging in a dark alley...who knows…”

Harley frowned as the Joker trailed off.

“Wait,” she said slowly, “do you know who Batman is?”

“Where’s he going!” the Joker cried, ignoring her.

Harley looked up and saw Firefly flying away, the Batman following on his tail and she couldn’t be sure but she thought she saw another figure join them.

“Show’s over,” said the Joker with a pout. He started the car and began driving.

“Where are we going?” asked Harley when she realized that they weren’t heading to Fun Land. 

“I need to make a quick stop,” said the Joker as he drove down towards the industrial area near the water, “I have a science experiment I want to try out.” 

The Joker parked right next to the water and got out. Harley followed him as he opened the back and pulled out a large metal barrel.

“What is that?” she asked as he rolled it towards the water.

“A little chemistry experiment,” he told her as he began dumping a bright green liquid into the water.

Harley walked along the edge of the water as the Joker continued to dump the chemical mixture. A splash caught her eyes and she bent down to get a closer look. As she did she heard someone whistle. She glanced up and saw a man leaning against a warehouse. He was dirty and looked like he was homeless. She straightened up as she glared at the man.

“Excuse me?” she called, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Just enjoying the view,” he said with a crooked grin, displaying yellow teeth. 

“Why I oughta-,” Harley cried stepping towards the man, but she was stopped by the Joker’s hand on her shoulder.

“Harley,” he warned her cautiously, his silvery eyes staring down the man.

The man’s eyes widened at the sight of the Joker, his eyes going back and forth between him and Harley. News that the Joker had a girl was spreading fast, but outside of her costume and clown makeup, Harley was pretty much unrecognizable as Harley Quinn.

“That wasn’t very polite,” said the Joker, he sounded calm, but Harley had come to know that this voice meant danger, “What do you say?”

“I-I-I’m sorry!” stammered the man, his eyes bulging in fear.

“What was that?” asked the Joker, putting a hand up to his ear, “I didn’t quite catch it.”

“I’m sorry!” cried the man.

“Are you telling me?” said the Joker pointing to himself. He indicated Harley, “You insulted her.” 

The man looked at Harley.

“I’m sorry!” he repeated, almost sobbing. 

“See, was that hard?” the Joker asked the man.

“No,” said the man, looking like he wanted to bolt, “it was easy.”

“Easy?” said the Joker, tilting his head back with a frown, “I didn’t want it to be easy. I guess I’ll have to do something to fix that.” 

The Joker let go of Harley’s shoulder and walked towards the man, who tried to run, but ended up tripping over his own feet in his haste. The Joker stood over him and rolled his eyes.

“Get up,” he said, a slight growl in his voice.

The man scrambled to his feet and tried to run again, but the Joker was faster, he grabbed the man’s shoulder and slammed him hard against the side of the warehouse, pinning him there. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a switchblade. He held the man still with one hand and put his other hand on the man’s face and pinched his mouth. He then lifted up the switchblade and began running it around the man’s mouth, cutting his lips off. Blood ran down the man’s face and coated the Joker’s hand. The man struggled, but was unable to escape from the Joker’s grip. He was making noises of pain in the back of his throat and tears streamed down his face.

When the Joker was done, he leaned back, the flesh that was once the man’s lips hung off the edge of his knife. He flicked the flesh off and crushed it under his foot before wiping the blade off on the man’s jacket.

He stepped back and glanced at his hand that had been on the man’s shoulder. It was now covered in grime from the man’s coat.

“You need a shower,” the Joker informed the man, “you stink.”

The Joker turned away from the man shaking his dirty hands.

“You drive,” he told Harley as they headed to the car. Harley glanced back at the man who had fallen over and was huddled up on his side, his hands by his mouth. She couldn’t help the feeling of satisfaction she felt and when she got into the car, she leaned over and gave the Joker a kiss. 


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

Brucie

Harley was walking down the streets of Gotham in the high end shopping district that was frequented by Gotham’s rich. For a city that was so poor, there were a lot of rich people. The problem was there wasn’t much in between the gap of rich and poor.

Harley was dressed to blend into the crowd, with a dark red dress, black kitten heels, large sunglasses, and a black sunhat. Her blonde hair was up in a bun under her hat. No one should be able to recognize her as Harley Quinn or Harleen Quinzel. Though the chances of someone realizing that she was the missing Arkham doctor were slim, and growing slimmer with each day. Her picture was being shown less and less on the news and most people seemed to assume that she was dead. 

She swung around her black purse as she walked and chewed on a piece of gum. She was window shopping though she was growing slightly bored. The Joker was working in his lab, making new chemicals to contaminate Gotham’s water. Harley had offered to help, but he had just laughed at her. 

He had wanted her to stay in Fun Land, but Harley had complained that she would be bored. Jess and Kate were working with the girls from the Grin and Bare It club and the Dee Dee twins were staking out chemical factories since the Joker was running low on supplies. Eventually Mr. J had agreed to let her leave Fun Land, but warned her if she got caught, it was her fault and she would have to get herself out of it. 

Harley paused to look in a window at a pair of heels when her eyes caught on a pair of women in the reflection. She turned to look at them.

One of the woman was small in both height and stature with honey blonde hair that fell to just above her shoulders. She had hazel eyes and faint freckles were sprinkled across her nose.

The second woman seemed strangely familiar to Harley, though she couldn’t place her. She had dark brown hair that was almost black in a pixie cut with lighter highlights skillfully added throughout. She was on the tall side, though still short compared to Harley. Her body was surprisingly lean and muscular, similar to Harley’s build.

The woman’s eyes stood out to Harley the most. They were light green and constantly shifting, scanning the crowd around her with an almost shocking amount of vigilance.

Harley’s eyes widened when she realized who she was looking at it.

“Kitty cat!” she called waving, quickly getting the two women’s attention. Selina Kyle frowned for a moment before her eyes widened slightly in recognition. She smiled as Harley skipped over to her.

“Harley,” she greeted, “I almost didn’t recognize you there in normal clothes.”

“Well that’s the point,” said Harley blowing a bubble with her chewing gum, “Who’s the cute blonde?” 

“Holly,” said the other woman holding out her hand for Harley to shake, “Holly Robinson. And I’ve heard about you.”

“Are you doing some shopping?” asked Selina, “You should join us. We snagged a few credit cards, so we figure we have a few hours to get whatever we want before he realizes they’re gone.”    

“Oohh,” said Harley grinning, “Whose credit cards did you steal?”

“Just some rich asshole,” said Holly, which made Selina roll her eyes.

“I’m in!” said Harley stepping between the two women and linking arms with both of them. “Lead on!”

“Just pick a store,” Selina told Harley.

“Any store,” said Holly, “it just has to be expensive and stylish. We need to run these credit cards up!”

Harley laughed as she pulled the women into a nearby boutique. They began looking through the clothes and Harley quickly discovered that Holly and Selina’s way of shopping was taking everything that was there size and trying it on. The woman behind the cash register gave them odd looks as they walked to the changing rooms with armfuls of clothes. 

They did this multiple times before purchasing multiple bags worth of clothes. Harley’s eyes widened at the price, she would never have been able to afford them on a psychiatrist's salary. But Selina didn't bat an eye as she handed over one of the credit cards.

They moved onto the next store to repeat the process. They were going through the clothes when a couple walked into the shop. Holly glanced up and her eyes widened.

“Shit,” she hissed, “it’s Bruce Wayne.”

“Bruce Wayne? Really?” said Harley trying to get a better look at the handsome billionaire. 

Holly grabbed her and yanked her down behind the clothes rack.

“Yeah, AKA the rich asshole whose financing are shopping spree,” she whispered.

“You stole from Bruce Wayne!” 

Holly quickly shushed her and waved at Selina who frowned as she joined them. Holly pointed to the couple and Selina’s eyes widened slightly before narrowing and becoming cold.  

“He’s coming this way!” hissed Holly.

Selina grabbed Harley’s hat and sunglasses which she had taken off and put them on her.

“We can't let him recognize you,” Selina told her, making Harley frown. Why would Bruce Wayne recognize her? She had never meet the man.  

They began walking towards the door, trying not to draw attention to themselves.

“Selina?” 

The group froze and slowly turned to face the man.

“Hey Brucie,” said Selina with an obviously fake smile, which made Wayne frown. 

“I didn't expect to see you here,” said Wayne.

Selina shrugged, “Yes well, I didn't expect to see you here with your latest girl toy either.” 

Wayne’s frown deepened at this, but Harley couldn't help but let out a low chuckle. Everyone in Gotham new about Bruce Wayne’s reputation as a playboy. The noise caught Wayne’s attention and Harley thought his eyes widened in surprise for a moment but it was gone as fast as it appeared. 

“You look familiar,” he said, “do I know you?” 

“You really don't know?” said Harley, faking indignation, “we spent a nice night together a couple years ago.”

Wayne's eyes narrowed at this and Harley laughed.

“I’m kidding,” she told him, “you’ve probably seen some of my modeling photos.” 

Harley grinned at the slightly confused looking billionaire before Selina cut in.

“It was nice seeing you Bruce, but we were just leaving.”

“Oh,” said Bruce, “are you sure? You didn't buy anything. I would offer to pay for your clothes, but I think I’m already too late for that.”

As he spoke he held out his hand to Selina, who with a tight lipped smile placed one of the credit cards in his hand. When Wayne still didn't move, she placed a second card in his hand and then a third.

“Thank you,” he said putting the cards away, “you know Selina, you could just ask me.”

“Where's the fun in that?” she said, shrugging one shoulder, “Besides, I don't need you to get by.”

“I know, I wasn't suggesting you did,” said Bruce, but Selina cut him off.

“See you around Bruce.”

She turned around and headed for the door, Holly and Harley following her out of the shop.

“What was that?!” cried Harley once they were outside.

“Nothing,” said Selina, clearly not wanting to talk about it, but Harley was not about to let it go so easily.

“That looked like a lovers fight, did you date  _ Bruce Wayne? _ ” 

“No,” said Selina, sounding annoyed.

“Just drop it Harley,” said Holly, grabbing her arm and giving her a look, “How about we go get some food?”

They went to a cafe and got a table outside. They ordered drinks and Harley lit a cigarette. She offered one to the other women and Holly took one. When Selina got up to use the bathroom, Harley turned to Holly.

“Okay, what is going on between her and Wayne.”

Holly sighed, “Honestly? I'm not even entirely sure. I know they met when they were kids after the Wayne's were killed, but their relationship is weird. I don't really understand what's going on between the two of them.”

“She has a billionaire in her pocket,” said Harley, “and a hot one at that. Why doesn't she use that?” 

“I’ve asked her the same thing,” replied Holly, “She seems to have this thing where she refuses anything from him. I don't know why. Selina is proud, wants to get by on her own, and apparently she thinks accepting anything from anyone, especially Wayne, will make her look weak.”

“She doesn't accept charity,” said Harley as Selina rejoined them.

Bruce Wayne wasn't brought up again until the end of lunch.

“Selina,” said Harley, “why did you think Bruce Wayne would recognize me?”

“You have been all over the news,” replied Selina dismissively.

“But no one has recognized her yet,” said Holly, clearly curious as well, “why would he recognize her? I mean, he’s not exactly known for his brain.”

Yeah thought Harley, he was more known for his lack of a brain.

“He’s more observant than most people, realize,” said Selina, “you’ll just have to trust me on that.” 

“Hmm,” said Harley, feeling that Selina wasn’t telling them everything, “I best me off. Mr. J should be done in the lab right about now. This was fun! We should do it again sometime.”

“Yeah!” said Holly and Selina gave her a smile small, though she seemed somewhat distracted. 

Harley waved goodbye and called one of the Joker’s men, Lewis, to come pick her up. They chatted on their way to the Funnibone, a warehouse the Joker owned where he had a lab set up in the basement.

The first floor of the warehouse had a few worn couches and tables filled with the Joker’s plans and blueprints. There were a few men standing guard, including three burly brothers who the Joker called Moe, Larry, and Curly.

Harley waved to them as she headed to the lab.

“I wouldn’t go down there if I were you,” called Jonny just as she reached the door, “something went wrong in the Joker’s last batch of chemicals and he flooded the room with toxic gas.”

“Toxic gas!” cried Harley in alarm, “Is he alright!”

“He’s fine,” said Jonny, “but you’ll want to wait a little while before going down there.” 

Harley walked over and joined Jonny on one of the couches. 

“How did he manage to release toxic gas? What’s he doing down there, just mixing random chemicals together?”

Jonny raised an eyebrow at her, “I think you just described his entire scientific procedure.”

“It’s amazing he hasn’t blown up the place,” said Harley.

“Oh he has,” replied Jonny, “he calls them breakthroughs. There’s a reason he has so many labs.”

Harley chuckled and shook her head, “He really is crazy.”

“Yeah, he is,” said Jonny giving Harley a strange look, “but you know what I don’t understand, you.”

“Me?” asked Harley in confusion.

“Yeah, you,” said Jonny, “I mean, I honestly can’t tell how crazy you are, cause you’ve got to be a least a little crazy to be with the Joker. But you act different around him. More ditzy, and your Brooklyn accent comes out more.”

“Really?” said Harley, “I guess I never noticed. I just act the way the Joker’s wants me to.”

The door to the lab burst open then and a pissed off looking Joker came stomping out. 

“We’re hitting a chemical factory tonight!” he growled, walking past Jonny and Harley without looking or acknowledging either of them.

“Sure thing Mistah J!” cried Harley jumping up to follow him, noticing a second later that Jonny was right about the Brooklyn accent. I guess you really do change for the ones you love thought Harley as she hurried to get into her jester costume and catch up with the Joker.   


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

Boy Wonder

The chemical plant they chose to hit was on the outskirts of the city, not that far from Ivy’s home. It was one of the plants that the Dee Dee twins had been keeping an eye on.

They arrived in two large trucks so they could transport large amounts of the chemicals. There weren’t many of them since it was such short notice. Just the Joker, Harley, Jonny, Lewis, and Moe, Larry, and Curly. 

Lewis would stay by the gate and be their lookout. 

It was a smaller plant so there wasn’t much in the way of security. Jonny cut the alarm and Harley easily took out the one guard with a whack to the back of his head with her baseball bat. The Joker began telling them what to load the trucks with. 

A few of the rooms were locked so Harley went to the small office area and after some searching found a set of keys. They were loading the trucks when Jonny pulled out his phone.

“Boss we gotta go,” he told the Joker, “Lewis says the Bat is coming up the road. We must've triggered a silent alarm, either that or he’s got this place under surveillance.” 

The Joker growled in annoyance.

“Did someone go into the offices?” asked Jonny, “There was a separate alarm on them.”

“What!” cried Harley, gaining everyone’s attention.

“Harley,” growled the Joker stalking towards her. Harley stepped back in fear at the look in his eyes.

“How was I supposed to know! No one told me!” she cried, “Where did you think the keys came from?”

The Joker grabbed Harley’s jester hat and pulled her up by it, forcing her up onto her toes so that she was at eye level with him. 

“Puddin?” 

“When we’re on a job, you’re not any different from any of the others. You listen and follow every order and do nothing else!” he hollered, yanking on her hat, hard, “And don’t call me Puddin!”

“Yes sir!” she said, her voice coming out in a pained squeak.

The Joker let go of her hat with a push, causing her to stumble back.  

“Get those chemicals into the truck and let’s go,” he ordered and everyone rushed to do just that. 

Harley was just loading some of the last chemicals when a batarang hit the truck, just missing her hand.

“Hey!” she called, “You could’ve hit me!”

The Batman jumped off the factory roof and landed in a crouch. 

“Stop right there Joker, you aren’t getting away,” he growled.

“Oh really?” said the Joker, pulling out a semiautomatic from the front seat of the truck. He began spraying bullets at the Bat, forcing him to dive into the chemical plant to avoid being hit by the bullets. The Joker’s men also began firing after the Bat, following him into the plant. Harley saw Lewis run up and join them. 

Harley jumped into the front seat of the truck as the Joker got into the passenger side. She turned the keys in the ignition, but the truck didn’t start.

“What the fuck?!” she snarled in annoyance trying to start the truck again, “It won’t start!”

The two got out of the truck and Harley opened the hood. One look at the engine was enough for them to see why it wouldn’t start; someone had demolished the engine.

The Joker let out a feral sounding roar and charged into the chemical plant after the Bat. Harley let out a growl in frustration of her own, why couldn’t they just get in the other truck that they had left with Lewis and go? Harley was about to follow the Joker when something swept her off her feet and she landed on the ground with a loud groan, all the air leaving her lungs.

She looked up to see a kid dressed in red and green holding a metal staff. She didn’t need to see the ‘R’ on his chest to know who it was. 

“I thought you left Gotham!” she cried as she rolled out of the way of the metal staff and jumped to her feet. 

“He did,” replied the kid, “I’m the new Robin.”

“New Robin?” said Harley, “What does Batman do, pick up kids off the street? ‘Cause there’s no way anyone would let him adopt a child. He can’t be mentally stable enough to raise a child.”

Harley was dodging the kids attacks with a surprising amount of ease. She felt as though her body was reacting faster than ever before. 

She ran to the truck and grabbed her bat from where she had put it in the front and turned just in time to use it to block Robin’s metal staff. 

“So I take it you destroyed the truck?” she said, swinging her bat at the kid who dodged out of the way.

“Yep,” he said with a mischievous grin.

From inside the chemical plant Harley could hear gunfire.

“Listen kid,” said Harley, pausing, “I’d really rather not hurt you.”

“Then don’t,” said the boy hitting Harley’s arm hard with the staff, making her drop the bat with a yelp of pain.  

“Why you little brat!” hissed Harley through gritted teeth. She lunged at the kid, but was tackled in the air mid leap.

She hit the ground hard, the Batman on top of her, pinning her down. She struggled against his grip, but couldn’t get free.

“Dr. Quinzel,” he said making her freeze for a moment, “Stop this!”

So the Bat had figured out who she was, but hadn’t released the information to the public. Interesting.

“Sorry Bats,” she said with a grin, “but Harleen Quinzel is gone, now it's just Harley Quinn!”

She relaxed all her muscles in the Bat’s grip, then in a burst of movement twisted her body to the left, managing to escape from his hold. Harley laughed triumphantly, she hadn’t really expected that to work. 

She didn’t get long to celebrate however, for Robin was back on her, and she just managed to jump out of the way of his staff, which went whizzing past her face.

The Joker came running out of the chemical plant and Harley saw him throw a bunch of playing cards at Batman out of his sleeve. Harley knew that the cards had razor blades attached to them. 

The Bat dodged all put two, one hitting his chest and another scratching the side of his exposed face. He ran at the Joker who hit him across the face with his semiautomatic, which must have been out of bullets.

“Harley get me a gun!” he yelled and Harley dove under Robin’s staff and went into a cartwheel heading towards the truck. She reached into the glove compartment and pulled out the first gun she grabbed and threw it to the Joker.

He caught the gun and trained it on the unprotected part of Batman’s face and pulled the trigger with a laugh, but instead of a bullet coming out of the gun, a little flag that said ‘Bang!’ popped out.

“Wrong gun you idiot!” yelled the Joker as he was forced to run to avoid the Batman’s attack.

“Sorry Mistah J!” called Harley running after him. 

Harley could still hear gunfire from inside the chemical factory, which must mean Batgirl was here as well. 

Robin stepped in front of her trying to prevent her from getting to the Joker, but Harley dove into a somersault and grabbed his legs, pulling him down hard. She snatched the metal staff from his hands and threw it as hard as she could at the Batman’s back, causing him to stumble, as he pursued the Joker.

She made it to the Joker who was blocking the Bat’s punches with his gun. The Bat turned and threw a punch at her, right at her face, and Harley knew she had no chance of getting out of the way in time. Without thinking she threw up her hand in an attempt to protect her face from the blow. But the blow never came. The Batman’s fist hit Harley’s open palm and stopped. 

Everything seemed to pause for a moment as she realized that she had just blocked the Batman’s punch with an open palm. The Joker was staring at her in shock and it was hard to tell, but the Batman seemed just as surprised. 

The Joker got over his surprise first and pulled out a spray bottle and squirted it at Batman who jumped out of the way as the Joker continued to spray him. The Joker was laughing hysterically and after a second the Batman seemed to realize that the spray wasn’t causing any sort of reaction.

“It’s just water you fool!” yelled the Joker laughing. The Batman hit the Joker across the face, knocking him to the ground where he continued to laugh.

Harley ran towards him, but suddenly a bola was wrapped around her body and she fell to the ground. 

“Nice to see you again,” said Batgirl with a grin. Harley struggled against the ropes as Batgirl went to check on Robin who was just stunned. 

Harley watched as the Joker was put in handcuffs after receiving a few more blows from the Joker. Batman hauled him to his feet, but the Joker went entirely limp, forcing him to drag him. With the Batfamily distracted for the moment Harley managed to pull out a playing card with a razor blade out of her sleeve pocket and quickly set to cutting the ropes. Luckily they were strong, but thin, and she had them cut in no time.

She grabbed her bat off the ground and rolled under the truck and hid behind one of the wheels. She could hear Batgirl and Robin’s cries of alarm when they saw that she had disappeared and stayed as still and quiet as possible. 

She knew that she stood no chance going against all three heros alone and the Batman would be leading the Joker to the Batmobile and the Joker’s men must have all been dispatched. The best chance she had was to wait for the surprise the Joker had set up in the chemical plant.

She listened to the sound of the two heroes running around and then there was a huge boom that shook the ground and the truck rocked with the shock waves. Harleen ran out from under the truck in the direction of Batman and the Joker as flames devoured the chemical plant. While she had helped load the truck the Joker had thrown some of the chemical mixture he had created earlier into one of the vats. 

She put her hand over her mouth and nose, knowing that the smoke was toxic and could knock her out. She turned the corner and caught sight of the Batmobile, in front of it was the Batman and the Joker. The Joker was out of the handcuffs and was hitting Batman with, was that a rubber chicken? The Batman was on his knees holding an arm up to his mouth as he coughed. He must have gotten a lungful of the smoke.

Harley ran up and brought her baseball bat down hard on his cowl, knocking him to the ground. 

“Come on!” she yelled grabbing the Joker’s hand and dragging him to the other truck. The Joker followed her, he was laughing and Harley could see that he had a split lip and blood was dripping down his chin, but the smoke didn’t seem to be affecting him. 

They got into the working truck and Harley pulled out, “Where am I going, Fun Land?”

“No,” said the Joker managing to stop laughing long enough to answer her, “head to the Grin and Bare It.”

Harley began driving to the club with the Joker giving her directions. When they arrived the Joker led her through the club and into a backroom. They went down several flights of stairs and entered an apartment that was decorated in bright colors. 

Once the Joker had closed and locked the door he turned to look at Harley.

“How did you do that?” he asked her.

Harley shrugged knowing that he was talking about how she had blocked Batman’s punch.

“I don’t know.”

“Well,” he said spreading his arms and approaching her, “it was brilliant! I knew there was a reason I keep you around and haven’t killed you!”

“Kill me?” said Harley in alarm, but then the Joker distracted her by grabbing her ass and lifting her up. Harley giggled in surprise and wrapped her legs around him as he crashed his lips against hers. 

His tongue entered her mouth, deepening the kiss. Harley allowed him to dominate the kiss as his tongue mapped out her mouth, running it over the back of her teeth. The Joker walked backwards until Harley’s back hit the wall. She tangled her hands in his hair as he moved from her mouth to her neck, sucking bruises onto the skin making her moan. He rolled his hips up so that she could feel his hardness through his pants.   

One of the Joker’s hands ran up her body, pausing to squeeze her breast before moving up and ripping off her jester hat. His hand moved to the hem of her costume and Harley pulled back as far as she could, which wasn’t far.

She squirmed away from the Joker, pushing him away.

“You are not destroying another one of my suits!” she said, causing him to pout, “I’m taking a shower.”

The Joker watched her as she found the bathroom and stripped out of the suit. She could feel the bruises forming on her skin from the hits she had taken. She turned the water on as hot as it could go and moaned at the feeling of the water beating against her skin.

She could hear the Joker moving around outside and suddenly the shower curtain was jerked back and the Joker was getting in the shower with her, still fully dressed. He slammed her into the shower wall, her head hitting the tiles. His hands gripped her hips and he lifted her up again. She grabbed onto his shoulders on reflex as he undid his pants and slammed into her. 

He bit her breast then sucked on her nipple as he moved in a fast rhythm, slamming her back into the wall with each movement. The Joker didn’t last long before he was coming inside her with a groan, his eyes rolling back for a moment. He put her down, practically dropping her and she leaned against the wall, breathing hard. He stepped out of the shower grinning at her.

“You’re not bad Harl,” he said, “You might just be my Harlequin.”

Harley grinned at him through tired eyes, “I sure am Puddin.”

The Joker rolled his eyes at the name but she could see a small smile on his face as he left the room. 


End file.
